Wednesday, August 30, 2006

It was just as if everyone had swelled.

It's not my fault--I was moving.

And I have dealt with more stupid people than I ever thought possible. If anyone lives in or near Arlington, don't EVEREVEREVER use Martin Locksmith. They changed our locks completely instead of just the keyhole (so $22 instead of $9), no one ever got any information straight, one of the locks DID NOT WORK!!! and the guy had to come back out to replace it but they gave him the WRONG ADDRESS. It was the WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE. Infact, everyone ARGUED with me. I actually got so livid today that I found myself yelling into the phone, "I WANT MY FUCKING MONEY BACK!!" (This may be a good time to add that not only do I NOT yell on the phone, I certainly don't swear, and I think that for the most part I'm a fairly agreeable, easy-going gal). And that shit was at work, so naturally everyone was nicer to me the rest of the day. But seriously, they overcharged us, argued with me, then told me they'd send the guy back out today to put our old locks back on and give us a check for the money back. Dude gets out here and argues with me some more (and this is just after I've been on the phone with Green Mountain who inexplicably shut off the power at our apartment which is a big no-no as the apartment will charge us since we're still renting there. So I'm primed. Actually no, this had gone on so long I really just wanted him to go away. He argued with me some more and I said he was just supposed to change the locks back and give me a check. He said, "No, we don't do that." There comes a point when it's a good goddamned thing I do not own a gun. I would have gotten it out and just ended Mike. He asked if they could just refund the difference between the estimate and the overcharge. (Which is what I wanted in the first place). I said fine and he said it would be reflected on my account in thirty minutes. I do not see it yet.

Green Mountain apologizes and cannot turn the power back on til after the holiday. *LAUGHS MANIACALLY* At least they say it is all their fault and Celery Stalk is not going to charge me anything extra for this. Celery Stalk is my apartment complex, I realize with their name I should probably clarify that. Don't ever live there, but that is for another blog. Sixty-day notice my ass.

The house is great! The plumbing on the washer was fucked but is now fixed--Sam the most wonderful agent in the world "took care of it" and I am so afraid he personally paid for it, but don't want to delve and be rude. I was very grateful. I patched the ceiling (badly) from a water leak and my wonderful father patched the flashings on the roof in 100 degree weather this past weekend. Dakota's was later had (oh holy jesus I'm going to propose to the truffle butter sauce), followed by a couple Sam Adams and MST3K's The Dead Talk Back. Damn good one, never seen it. That part of the weekend was incredibly fantastic and must be done more often.

Ok, this has been too long of a break. More unpacking (and if you think I haven't cracked open a bottle of wine you're absolutely crazy).

Oh, and you also need to know about Johnny Two-Lips, the world's ugliest fish trinket the previous owners left behind. I will take a picture. We named him and deemed him Sponge Holder and Kitchen God. He will keep the ants out and keep the meat tender. He is really, really ugly. I cannot wait to show you. He is hand-sized with an opening in the top (a slit, as if for a sponge??) and hole in the bottom. Like a teeny tiny flower pot. But so not. I will add him later. He is living in the kitchen for now.


Veloute said...

*soothe, soothe*

Where the hell are these locksmith ya-yas from? New York? If only you were holding a trout whilst Mike was arguing with you. That'd teach him.

Celery Stalk. What a very bizarre name for an apartment complex. Sounds like something Triana and I would name an apartment 3 AM after sniffing a bag of Dorito Cool Ranch chips.

Triana said...

Doritos? What Doritos? I do NOT have a Dorito problem!!!! Ok, I might, but I can quit any time I want!

*whimpers**hugs Dorito bag*

I CHOOSE not to!

Veloute said...

The Doritos understand me when no one else does.


Anxious to see a picture of the ugly kitchen fish deity. Does he require sacrifices? Am I going to have to chant before assembling the cake?

Ellen Aim said...

Thanks for soothing, Vel. I admit I drank a little as well. Those locksmiths have been in business since 1980. Their current personnel seems to have gone sharply downhill.

And I'm starving, this Dorito talk isn't helping!

Johnny Two Lips pics to follow hopefully tomorrow...