Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I tune out self-pity. It makes my dick soft.

Yes, I am still here.

I'm pretty sure the connecting flight through LGA to home just boarded and I heard them begging for five people to get off and get $500 passes instead. Hope they don't ask my flight the same thing. I mean, they CAN. I won't be volunteering for jack.

I am playing around on Cute Overload, Texts From Last Night and Fail Blog. And I had to leave my gate area because I was giggling too much. Some favorites...I like to think you can work out what comes from where:

(513): So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.

Followed by some AWWWWWWWWWWWWW:

And some creepy:

This last one kinda reminds me of the "sign" posted in the elevator that goes from the Park Station platform to the street level. Someone has taken a Sharpee (blue) and just written on the white plastic part of the wall (so there is really no "sign" to speak of), "Do not urinate on elevator. You are on camera!" And I always cringe a lot and try not to breathe. At first I thought, "I'm never taking this elevator again!" But let's face it, those law books and my computer are pretty fucking heavy. So yeah, sometimes I ride in an oft-pissed-in elevator to get to the street. Meh, whatcha gonna do. At least it always smells severely of bleach and death in there.

By the way, I agree with you, too. Especially in those pants.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. One semester down, five more to go. The first year is supposed to be the worst, but I don't know if the first or second semester is the ugliest. The first semester hurts because it's new and the midterms (and one final) are stressful--but then next semester my hours are longer, the winter gets meaner and the finals are 75%, as opposed to the 25% they were for midterms.

Criminal Law was my last one, a final. Next semester I have Constitutional Law instead, in a smaller section and for twice as long. JOY. On the bright side, the book was $150 and I found one for $40 online. (Something about a broken cover, ask me if I care.)

The criminal law final wins the humor contest, though, since I actually snickered out loud twice while reading it. He clearly had a lot of fun writing it, using current events to make every conceivable felony we studied happen. Some guy was trying to make a new reality TV show but he wanted to pull a publicity stunt first, so he got a guy to get him a gun, some explosives, and some seed money. He got that guy's wife--with whom he was having an affair--to steal a homemade balloon from the college where she was working. At some point, he put the explosives in his trunk and due to a defect and extreme heat, they went off and killed a passerby. He went to go meet up with the other guy to give him the gun, but the wife was home and when the friend came home, caught them together. The wife had some fairly inflammatory things to say, including that their children weren't his after all and they infact had a stash of frozen embryos and were going to have babies forever. As you can imagine, there was some attempted murder, but someone walking by outside got shot intead, which they all covered up. The jilted husband went online and got his assistant to find the embryos (known as "frosties"), and as he instructed him, "Toast those frosties!"

I am very fond of this professor.

The publicity stunt ended up being a take on the whole balloon boy hoax (so how funny that their sentence got handed down today), but the kid was really in the balloon here, but died when a helicopter pilot flew too close and the balloon was destroyed. The kid had already become unconscious due to the altitude, but upon discovering the dead body, the fact pattern noted, ("An autopsy report is still pending,") which made me chuckle, I admit it.

And that was just the first fact pattern. So there was potential burglary, robbery, involuntary manslaughter with potential 2nd degree murder, conspiracy, attempt, extortion, damn, it's a three hour exam and we all could have written more.

Anyway, I'm at the airport now, trying to fly home. I am five hours early, in the hopes of snaking something on standby. This probably would have been more likely if a flight to my city hadn't been diverted this morning, don't know what that was about. So there's about twenty people on standby for a flight at 4:30 connecting through New York. I'll stick with my direct flight, thanks. Of all the cities to get stuck in, I'd take LGA, but really, I'd like to pass on that altogether, mmmkay.

And because it occurred to me about a week ago I have NO PRESENTS for my nieces, I get to go shopping on xmas eve! Smart, that's me. I'm dragging their mother, Veloute along, so she can point to stuff and I can buy it. Win.

I have two books with me, Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane and The Road by Cormac McCarthy. If I can find an outlet, I shelled out $7.95 for the honor of using the airport wifi. (SOME airports let you use it for free, but WHATEVER.) So I can play online, and I do have two DVDs--To Sir, With Love and the first disc, first season of XXXholic: Vol 1, neither of which I've seen before.

On the other hand, the bartender here now knows my name and started off by trying to get me a Bloody Mary. Nice. I'm opting for white wine since I don't wish for any of my drinks to revisit me on the flight, kwim? And he's pouring freely from the bottle for refills rather than bringing me normal glasses, so this could be the place to stay for a bit... ;)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Why should I listen to you, anyway? You're a virgin who can't drive.

I was sad to see Brittany Murphy died today, at 32. Naturally, aside from "cardiac arrest," they don't say anything about the cause, just rumors of diabetes or anorexia...

It goes without saying she was so adorable in Clueless...I've seen her in other roles, and while she was always good, the movies seldom were. It's really a shame the material just wasn't worthy.

And we were going to make you King of the Winter Carnival!


Now get the fuck off my computer, cat, I have to study. (I mean, I do have the heat turned on, you know...)

(Seriously, by the time I discovered this, his fat little body had added 300+ empty slides to my criminal law presentation, ha ha. I just re-opened it.)

Pearls! The woman is wearing PEARLS in the KITCHEN!!

I started Julie & Julia last night, not very far in yet, but I'm enjoying it. I really like Amy Adams--I know everyone says they just want more of the Meryl scenes (and I can still see why)--but for the record I really do enjoy Amy Adams.

Anyway. Thank GOD one of my exams was YESTERDAY morning and not THIS morning. Because FUCK. ME.

That's the marsh outside my window. It's usually water. It has been freezing over a little in the mornings but this is new. And you can barely see the train station, let alone the Boston skyline.

The area between the door and screen was even filled with snow! That's what the winds are like!

Someone likes it, though.

The snow is blowing sideways. I have been watching people shovel the front of our building and trucks plowing by and it is a really sad exercise in futility.

There is, seriously, more snow on the path than when he started.

Monday, December 14, 2009

It’s just noise comin’ out of an ugly scientist.

My neck is incredibly sore from sleeping on it wrong. Nice work.

I am very much procrastinating this morning. I need to not do that.

For one thing, I told myself that if I got a lot done today, I could go to a special screening tonight. It's in Braintree, so it's just a ten-minute drive south of my little town. It's the first time Doctors Without Borders has allowed a documentary to be filmed while they work, and wow, if that doesn't just sound uplifting enough right there, how about a clip?

It's called Living In Emergency. It's screening in NYC tonight but they're broadcasting the screening and the follow-up Q & A at various theaters nationwide at 7:30. It's also on the shortlist for Oscar documentaries (shocker).

If nothing else, it's guaranteed to take my mind off my studies.

And I know, I've been posting recently but mostly I've been sneaking in clips and songs and whatnot and those aren't really posts are they? But there is very little going on in my day lately.

Wake up.

Sit in downstairs cafe and drink too much coffee.

Dick around online.


Dick around online.

(We won't explore the time proportions on these, mmkay?)

Start drinking.

(We also won't explore what time of day these occur.)

Keep studying but go upstairs to prevent more dicking around online.

Eat. Pass out.


Sunday, December 13, 2009

This can't just be shagging. A mini-break means true love.

Speaking of awesome chicks who play the piano...

You know, I almost got to see Weezer a week ago. My friend S thought she might end up with an extra ticket, which I would have gladly taken her up on, but she ended up not having one. And then the band got in an accident and Rivers Cuomo had to go to the hospital for minor injuries so the show was canceled anyway. (I think all is well once more.) But I really had fun at Weezer when I saw them in Austin nine years ago!

Anyway, I thought this was a cute song and was thrilled to see they asked Sara Bareilles to sing with them.

But see, that's another new album I didn't know about. Dang.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Let's get you a cocktail.

It's sad really, how disconnected I have become from normal everyday things like news, movies and music. I got a $15 itunes gift card from my mother-in-law, and not knowing what new albums had even come out this year, I glanced at NPR's All Songs Considered, a podcast I used to listen to but haven't in ages. Well, I opted for the new Regina Spektor album, Far, since I previewed a few tunes and I usually really like her stuff. Plus she's ttly cute and I will see her live one day. (You know how I like my chicks'n'pianos...well, though I was never a huge Tori Amos fan, but whatevs.)

But it's far more fun to say that my mother-in-law also (indirectly) purchased Jay-Z's 99 Problems for me as well. (And it's true!)

Anyhoo,it's almost time to go home! 2 down and 3 to go. I think a really good new album will help me to the finish line. (That and all that popcorn, Alex, you rock!!)

Friday, December 11, 2009

I don't show my tits for watered down Bud.

I'm not just putting on an eye-candy parade, really, I have a reason here.

First of all, I have been studying too much because I sat here at my laptop for a good twenty seconds going, "What is that bastard's name again?!?!" before I remembered. Sad.

Anyway, I'm told they were ridiculously on sale, but I am now the happy owner of the first THREE seasons of Supernatural! Hooray! (And yes, Mob, it's a great show, it's not just an excuse for me to drool over Jensen Ackles on a weekly basis, ha ha! On the other hand, erm, that is sort of what Castle is (only for Nathan Fillion), so I'm not going to pretend like I'm too good for that...that show is such a guilty pleasure, but it does somehow manage to be cute and watchable, again, clearly because of NF.)

ANYWAY. Dying to rewatch the first season of Supernatural. I remember it being really great except for one episode, I think it was on the second disc, called Bugs. Omfg. It was such a "Which One of These Does Not Belong" Seasame Street moments. The whole episode was total shit and there was this great scene with spiders in a We were positive they were little plastic spider rings with the rings cut off and you could infact--I swear--hear them clattering to the floor when someone picked up a white towel full of them. Ed Wood would have been proud.

And I'm not yet vouching for season 4; it was treading real thin ice and I've yet to complete it.

So good xmas so far! I get prezzies as study breaks, but I am very good about not watching them that instant. Oh, and here is my Enterprise (mentioned in the previous post):


And I also admit that yesterday was not as full of studies as it ought to have been...

One of the xmas prezzies I got from my mother-in-law was an Express gift card and well, I have been wanting to go shopping there lately...practically speaking, I need some type of suit...impractically speaking, a girl can always use a new dress for a rockin' New Year's Eve party! ;)

So I compromised and found 2 suiting skirts (the jacket sleeves were a tad long and it was also a little tight, so no go) and I got a wearable-for-other-occasions little B & W dress. (There was a tiny strapless black dress with swatches of sparkly and I was very good at talking myself out of it.) I also got a couple shirts and another dress. It was a great day to go shopping--since it was a weekday, I had two people waiting on me hand and foot (in a good way for once, not in that annoying, pestering go-the-fuck-away manner) and I talked the girl into splitting up my purchase into 2 transactions so I could use the coupon twice (you got $30 off if you spent $75) and even with my gift card, I still spent too much.

Considering I haven't been clothes shopping since probably last year, though, WHEE!!

So yes, I know, this was my most titillating post yet, but what do you expect when I'm procrastinating? And you can probably also tell how much coffee I've had.

For any fellow procrastinators or anyone needing a great laugh, here was mine for the day (thanks, dad!):

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Gretchen Carlson Dumbs Down
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorHealth Care Crisis

Thursday, December 10, 2009

All you had to do was come and say, "Hi" or "thanks", or something... I mean... But no, you sent me to a restaurant with shitty breadsticks!

Wow, whoops, sorry about that. No updates AND you get to stare at Steven Tyler. I will try to make amends.

So at least if I don't update, you can enjoy some Nathan.

It has started getting cold finally (even though it's colder in Texas, wth). Yesterday morning was my first midterm. I woke up, looked out the window to see big gusty wins of fat wet snowflakes swooshing all around. It would have been pretty had it not been so unfortunate looking, as it is when one is realizing one must go out in it shortly.

And nothing was uglier than the midterm itself. It was my first but the one that I--and everyone--was dreading most. There is nothing I could have done differently study-wise, they were two essay questions I felt were a little out of the blue, one in particular. Whatever, it's over.

Another one Saturday. It's an easier one but I also don't want to blow it off. Big mistake. Huge.

13 days til I can get THE HELL OUT OF HERE YAY!! It's not so much that I'm eager to leave Boston, it's just that I'm incredibly eager to GO HOME!!

I am also very excited to see ACTUAL REAL THEATER MOVIES!! First of all:

I just couldn't put up an actual image from The Road cause every image is so bleak and melodramatic looking. I haven't read the book but I'm thinking that it and Shutter Island will keep me company at the airport. My friend L saw it already (she adores the book) and said that while it was incredible and did well by the book, she said Do. Not. Watch It. Til After Midterms. Real upper, you see.

And you know I'm ttly spazzy to see The Lovely Bones cause it's Peter Jackson and the trailer looks like it too does well by the book. Another upper.

I'm hoping it's sort of in that Heavenly Creatures vein. It just looks like it will be visually captivating and I'm all for that. Happy happy happy to be sucked into anything not law-related.

Of course the problem is that no matter what the topic, I often can only think of law-related issues. It's sad. It happens with receipts, it happens at the grocery store, it happens when friends get mugged, it's taking over my brain.

But movies, want! Silly stuff, too. Want me some Clooney in Up in the Air, want some Princess & the Frog, anything. One of those two might be a treat Saturday after the midterm, not sure. The 3rd midterm may be a bit of a beast, and the last one surely is, so have to take it easy with my "treats."

Nothing else special going on. Oh! I did get home and watch the new Star Trek movie last night, one of my xmas prezzies from D. I took pics of it, but I'm not on my laptop at the moment, so this is almost it (the one below is the Blu-Ray, but you get the idea):

So the Enterprise model IS the DVD case. The saucer section opens up and has 2 DVDs inside. It is SO COOL and my inner dork is so happy. So it sits on top of the DVD shelves because obviously it doesn't shelve very well. ;)

Monday, November 09, 2009

Heads, I win. Tails, you *ooze*!

Congratulations, Steven Tyler, for having the scariest fucking picture ever.

I couldn't really care less if he is leaving Aerosmith, I just know a bunch of us died laughing at this picture in class today. As the guy next to me said, "God, I can just hear Stephen Colbert doing his Crypt Keeper impression!"

Sunday, November 08, 2009

You go get the door--I'll be in the closet!

Nostalgia time! (For me, anyway.)

Omfg, that theme song.

Something else not available on DVD...the funny thing is, for me, it was just enjoyable to watch when I was a kid (I was probably 8 or 9); how could I know anything about it was controversial? But I guess this was probably the first gay-themed sitcom on the air. Half the jokes must have flown over my head (like the subject line).

Showtime kicked ass in the 80s. Who knew?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Kinda sounds like prison's better than Dunder Mifflin...

Just when you think you're almost home on a nicely uneventful day, someone starts caressing you on the train.

I'd just gotten caught up on Project Runway only to find out fucking adorable hometown girl Shirin lost to some wankface moron whose name I still haven't bothered to learn, so you know, I was already not in the mood for bullshit.

Even when he sat down next to me, it was weird; the train wasn't all that full and my stuff was oozing onto the next seat. He was oozing weird vibe, so I discreetly moved closer to the END when we stopped.

And you know, I wasn't even sure. Maybe I was being paranoid, right? I gave him the benefit of the doubt, but his hand (which I even LOOKED DOWN at) was clearly over his leg and kept brushing/caressing my leg. (I was wearing a dress but it covered my legs plenty, whew.) I figured, if he does it again...

And he did.

So I turned from my shoulders and LOOKED. AT. HIM. Now if someone turns to you on the train, you're going to look back. Out of surprise or confusion if nothing else. Yeah, not only did this guy not look at me, I could feel him not looking at me and pretty much praying I wasn't going to start screaming at him there on the train (there can be more than one crazy, you know) but basically, you could just see the waves of shame coming off this dude.

And then he made a big point of using both his hands to play with his ipod and phone. Just a coincidence, I'm sure...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

J'ai une âme solitaire.

A friend of mine (technically D's, and also Mob's best friend, but I really adored this guy) killed himself Monday night. I rarely got to see him but I was still happy knowing he was there, and it goes without saying I wish we'd been able to see him more often.

I was so happy to still have this picture with me, rather than back in Texas. He loathed having his picture taken, but he was being a very good sport here at Mob's wedding (he was also meeting me in person for the first time so maybe he was going easy on me). You may have seen his blog in the past (it may be invite-only, I don't recall) and comments here--he ("MacGuffin") always had great comments.

I don't know much, but simply that the years of sickness and depression took their toll.

We hadn't emailed in a while, but I was looking back at some of our past correspondence and I hope it's not totally inappropriate, but I wanted to reprint one that, while perhaps not uplifting, I still found moving. We were discussing the recent death of his dog, whom he'd owned during some of the hardest times in his life. This was about two years ago, maybe a little less.

Yeah, the passage of time helps but it doesn't make the pain go away, grief simply changes you. My brother **** committed suicide in 2002 and to this day I think of him every single day but it's become bearable somehow. [My dog] was with me through so much pain and misery (I've had cancer twice), we formed an unusually strong bond that I simply cannot begin to describe. He's been my constant companion and joy and now I feel so damn bereft... I've been sobbing and carrying on to such an extent, it's even surprised me.

I'll muddle through somehow or I won't... either way I'm not the same person I was two weeks ago. Nothing can change that now. Thanks for the kind words and take care.

You are sincerely missed.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Do you know where I can get, like, a really great dress?

So the other day my sister and I were on the train trying to get from my apartment to downtown. Out of nowhere, this crazy old man (odder still, I don’t think he was intoxicated) proceeds to ask us (more than once since we did not understand), “Do you know how much better Boston would be without the colleges?”

Obviously I had nothing to say to this. I mean, I do, but this man was not someone I really wanted to have a conversation with. “Oh, is this South Station?” I suddenly said, getting us off the train. (So what if we wanted Park Station?) No big deal.

Today. I’m leaving school around 4 and for the second day in a row as I hit the platform, my train is just pulling up. Considering my train comes every other train, this was pretty fucking cool. There was a man next to me waiting to get on, and he pushed himself in front to be first, then slowly turned around…and it was the same fucking guy. “Do you know how much better Boston would be without the colleges?”

I immediately ran away to a separate car.

It was totally alarming and freaky, I don’t care how small Boston is. I was worried it might turn into a Drag Me to Hell-type scenario where I’m perpetually haunted by a crazy fucker…though admittedly I don’t think he’ll try biting my face off. I hope.

And it was also less cool than being trapped in a This Is Ponderous moment--you know, "Hey, aren't you supposed to be at work?" It was just all sorts of wrong and unwelcome.

So that was the weirdest part of my day. I'm glad there wasn't something else competing, at least.

On a completely separate note, I’m totally sad I have to miss a book launch party in two weeks hosted by Dennis Lehane. It’s the same night as a school function and though I’ll probably end up being pretty unsocial, I should at least make the attempt. The book launch is noir-themed and part of the Boston Book Fest, it sounds very cool. Balls.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

I mean, who gives a crap if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still doesn't change the fact that I don't own a car.


In anyone else's hands, this could be so terrible. But I totally trust Peter Jackson to get it right. I thought I had read the book but in retrospect, I don't think I have. I have to go read it now so I still have a little time between the two and I don't judge too harshly. Here's hoping it's awesome.

(And of course, living in Boston now means rooting for hometown actor Mark Walhberg, which I pretty much did anyway. And of course, I choose not to extend this rule to Ben Affleck. So there.)

Speaking of socialism, though, last night I saw Capitalism: A Love Story. I'd heard it was one of Moore's weaker efforts, but I didn't think so at all. It's not as openly controversial as some of his past works, and yet "socialism" is such a hot button issues these days. For some reason I always remember this library in North Carolina where Veloute and Douglas used to live. Someone had scrawled "Socialism here!" in terrified chicken-scratch on the book drop door. I remember being a little confused, like, "Yeah...and?"

Anyway, the movie has all the Moore staples you've come to expect, starting with a handful of somewhat in-depth true stories from people whose homes are being foreclosed and people who have lost spouses and come to find out these companies for whom their spouses worked take out life insurance on their employees, collecting big time when they die (meaning of course, that the employee is usually worth more to them dead than alive). I really didn't know much about the latter, and it was really appalling.

Moore also does his in-your-face schtick, which I've never been too fond of, though I can certainly appreciate the need for it, I suppose. It's always humorous to see numerous security people walking out of whatever corporate headquarters Moore's approaching before he's even at the door (shit, at GM he wasn't even on the stairs before they came out). And not surprisingly, all the Congress representatives who speak with him are Democrats. Shocker.

But it was enjoyable, and I hope a lot of people see it (particularly those who don't already agree with the views, but the odds of that are always slim). But who knows...when I left the theater, I heard someone ask, "Did you just come from the new Michael Moore movie?" (I was rocking the peasant look, apparently.) Especially since it was opening weekend, I thought maybe someone was looking for an argument, but I turned around anyway.

"Yes," I say.

"Did you like it?"

(Mild apprehension.) "Yes."

"Oh, well, here, you might like to read this, then..." and I was handed materials for meetings discussing the film, marches in Quincy and some other panel discussions on--gasp!--socialism! Holy shit, I'm not in Texas anymore.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

I heard my mom say to her girlfriend, "Any guy with feathered hair is *foxy*."

Thursday was a really, really great day!

I swear I will go into details soon (hopefully tomorrow), but I've been sitting downstairs studying too damn long. It's after 8 and it's time to start the butternut squash soup and macaroni! And to cue up the Project Runway...

But for the record I love Stephen Colbert even more than before! And you didn't think that was possible. If you ever get the chance to see the show, it was so much fun. The Daily Show is (honestly) a better show most of the time just due to content, but if we're strictly talking about rating them based on being in the audience? Colbert wins hands down, I don't even have to think about it.

But I at least wanted to have a post of SOMETHING. Don't ask how long it's been since I cranked out a review for the film site I write for. I really need to get my shit together this week, since I basically phoned it in all last week...but goddamn Thursday was so worth it.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

I can take care of myself. I've been using the Bowflex.

I'm sure you loved looking at the same goddamn Robert Downey, Jr. pic for a month, but hey, it's time to move on.

I'm downstairs at my apartment watching the Emmy awards in the cafe/wireless lab. I barely snaked the TV from the Portugese family that basically lives in this room (well, at least when the couple isn't in the hallway yelling at each other and then violently making out five minutes later). I came in and The Simpsons was on. The volume was nearly off and there were two women on their computers, not watching. I made sure they weren't, then flipped my show on. Less than two minutes later, the dad and kid came back in and the kid seemed visibly startled that something else was on. Tough shit, fucker.

On the bright side, he was happy to dance along with Neil Patrick Harris's opening number. Easy to please, win.

I have no idea what's even up for what, I just want to make sure Mad Men wins a bunch of stuff, and if there's even a remote chance Hugh Laurie will win for House, M.D. and make a speech, it's worth the hours. Plus Sarah McLachlan is supposed to make an appearance/performance. The patience I manage for that woman.

So yesterday I watched the best movie I've seen in ages.

It was really damn cute. It was in 3D, which I normally can't see, but for some reason I was actually able to see far more of it than usual. Yay! And it was (regardless of being in 3D) visually stunning, just full of gorgeous colors. All the foody stuff was creative and silly--you could tell they had a lot of fun making it. It's clearly geared towards both adults and kids. And for the record, the monkey could have totally been a Jar-Jar Binks-style disaster, but he was minimized just enough to be funny.

Ok, brief interlude as I watch the show. Why is it always a 30 Rock orgy? I've only seen a couple episodes, and I will really start watching more, but jesus. If only a show could literally get blown, there are a number of people on my TV screen who would line up for the job.

Also, thanks, Emmys, for totally ruining the shows I'm not quite caught up on. Like, great. Now it totally won't be surprising when Chuck tells Blair he loves her, way to go. (I'm kidding, it's embarrassing enough that I watch that goddamn show, are you kidding me? I can't even bring myself to tell you what I'm talking about.)

Anyway. After Cloudy, I watched the new Mike Judge movie, Extract. I really tried to keep Office Space in mind, in the way that it was such a theater flop then slowly built to have a giant cult following. But where Office Space had charm, dark humor, painful characters and endlessly quotable lines, this had...none of that.

It was okay, really, but it just never seemed to reach its full potential. And I did laugh a few times, but overall, just gotta give it a meh. And they were trying so hard with the neighbor, it was almost annoying.

Lastly, it was time for Diablo Cody-penned horror, Jennifer's Body. I wanted it to be good. It was supposed to be a strong female, old-school gorefest type flick. But no.

First of all, I'm going to say it. I really don't get the Megan Fox thing. I mean, sure she's hot, but I find her completely unspecial. I don't think I could pick her out of a crowd. She's just this brunette uber-hot model type that would blend in with all the others. I guess I just prefer the distinctive looking ladies. I mean, you would never mix up Nicole Kidman with anyone else. Or Julianne Moore. Or Audrey Hepburn. I get she may be considered The Hottest Thing Alive, but for the record, I just don't get it.


The movie was ok, it was fun I guess. It kinda dragged and the flow was really off. It's not fair to compare any new horror movie to Drag Me to Hell, but that was a fucking great horror movie. It was onto the next scene before you were really over the last one. In Jennifer's Body, you were waiting for stuff to happen.

It also had the Look At Me dialogue of Juno, which is distracting in both movies, but it works for quirky comedy. Not so much here. Also, the cute details in the story were there at first (think hamburger phone and boysenberry condoms in Juno), only to disappear about a quarter of the way in.

And what was up with the monster ten minute close-up on the lesbian kiss? Really? Wtf, who cares? The movie was fun overall, but so much of it just really misfired for me.

And seriously, they've moved onto the "reality" segment of the Emmys show, so I could go take a twenty minute dump if I were watching my own TV. But watching these clips, I'm really not sure if this is supposed to be funny. I think it's supposed to be emotional? FAIL. Move along, people.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Holmes, wait! I know why the bear is white!

What's that great line we got off Rotten Tomatoes?

"Pass the Vaseline and clear the row in front of me."

And again, no one's saying this is going to be any good.

But sir, it is wafer thin!

My orientation professor made a "wafer thin" reference yesterday and I think I was the only one who got it.

But I write that line because in the Financial Times this morning (which is dutifully delivered to our door and no one else's every morning, whatever), there was a cool article about how Pepsi is about to start doing video ads in print media; very Harry Potter, the FT thought.

Also, randomly, my favorite moment of the day...wait no, I have two. First of all, we're sitting in a large room with about 120 people for a little seminar/Q&A on what to expect, and they're warning us about the dangers of stress and the ominous path it leads you down. She said, and I quote:

"People start drinking more and doing more cocaine..."

Everyone totally looked around like, "Did she really just say that?" Because I try to keep my coke use respectable. (I'm sure it was not how it was intended, but we still made jokes about it later.)

In the same session, during the Q&A, when people invariably mutter the question, one person brazenly, loudly asked, "Does the health center give out free condoms?"

There were a couple snickers, but what was priceless was the answer. He said yes, they have tons and tons. But apparently one of the admin for health services came in one day and said, "These condoms suck!" And she went out and spent money on different shapes, sizes, textures, flavors, you name it. And they don't put those out in dishes, so if you want the good stuff you have to ask.

And that was what I learned today.

I haven't found my pennies yet.

Ok, so a couple weeks ago, my mom and I went to Sleepy Hollow Cemetery in Concord. Concord is about twenty minutes away by car. We went on a Sunday morning, and though it was still "the season," a couple shops were closed (I'm looking at YOU, little candy store). But it was a cute little town and it was a great morning (weather-wise) to wander around the cemetery.

Including a family ancestor, Daniel Chester French, the graveyard is where a lot of other very cool people are buried...

I'm sure it's just because they can't lump him in with the literary group, but I like that he gets his own sign.

He was also the hardest to find, since he's up on a hill near the beginning of the graveyard. A local walking her dog pointed us in the right direction. The whole place is still worth seeing...

Great moss and great mushrooms.

This was just kinda creepy...

A lot of the graves have markers if they fought in a war. I'm really not used to being in graveyards that go back this far:

As for the famous graves, people seem to have made it customary to leave certain things on them. Like twigs on Thoreau, pennies on French's (Lincoln penny)...I forget who gets what and apparently no one else can get it right, either:

And I'm not sure why Hawthorne gets a big piece of driftwood. I can't say anything nice about this one anyway, so let's move on...

Difficult to shoot, but Emerson had a giant plot for the whole family.

Thoreau had the busiest grave by far, and rightly so. You can't see it, but there are also little notes written in Japanese under a wood block.

And last but not least, the long flat grave belongs to Daniel Chester French.

Here, people seem to get the penny thing right.

But some people still leave dimes. Are they making a wish or what?

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

We're here, we're queer...and we're on TV!

Let's see. I briefed a case and sent it to my orientation professor and then I joined the Massachusetts Gay and Lesbian Bar Association.

I think that's enough productivity for the day. Beers, anyone?

Saturday, August 15, 2009

I'm going to get chip faced.

I will have an actual post soon, I swear. I still have cool pics I have not posted!

But it's getting hotter and I have to go somewhere before it gets too gross out where I can study. Well, read. We have pre-orientation crap to do, yay. By Tuesday.

I saw Funny People the other day, and it wasn't bad. I usually can't stand Adam Sandler, but this was a nice middle ground for him. Not stupid and not SERIOUS. The movie, however, had a hard time mixing poignant and humorous. It wasn't that it couldn't decide what to be, it just didn't mix them well.

(I was trying to think of a movie that does, and the only one I can think of that does it effortlessly is In Bruges. That is seriously a great movie.)

But in any case, I did like all the actors in Funny People and while it was an enjoyable viewing, it was much longer than I anticipated. It also didn't help that the premise of the film as I understood it was dealt with by the middle of the film, leaving me wondering why it was still on and how long it was going to dawdle on the remaining issue, which was far less interesting.

So I recommend for DVD viewing, to be honest.

But what was much harder for me to watch was a trailer that came before. I know I always grumble about how hard it will be to sit through "the new Sandra Bullock movie" but usually I'm up for some good guilty pleasure.

This is not one of those. This "offensive" too blunt?

Let me just be one of many to say right off the bat: can you fucking imagine if the sexes were switched? And even as it is, this is just not cool.

Most rom-coms of the "desperately seeking soul-mate" variety are bad enough as it is, perpetuating the nauseating notion of impossible romantic scenarios, bad dialogue and matching chocolate Labs, but when they veer into stalker territory in a seemingly celebratory fashion...well, as Tim Gunn would say, it worries me.

Who knows, maybe I'm reading the trailer wrong.

And speaking of creepy, I just wrote all that and then the trailer played behind me on the TV in here. You'll be relieved to know it's actually coming out in September, rather than March.

Ok, today I'm picking up fresh figs at the grocery store I found yesterday near school. Far more interesting, actually, was the frozen meat section, including but not limited to: yak, llama, caribou (!), wild boar (YUM), and for the win: iguana. And it really looked like the big fat iguana tail shrink wrapped on the white styrofoam platter that it was.

And HOORAY for the season 3 premiere of Mad Men tonight!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I have scruples, I got some for Christmas.

Dear John Cusack,

I'm pretty sure you can never make me hate you. That doesn't mean you don't like to try.

I mean, you know, I'll still watch. It just means I have til November to find a theater that sells beer.

Still trying to forgive you for Pushing Tin,
Ellen Aim

So despite Potter's 2 hr 33 min runtime, my AMC theatre yesterday still chose to run seven trailers with it. I do enjoy me some trailers, but especially considering the type that generally go in front of a kid-type film (not that this really is, but "they" don't care), meh, not always.

Two exceptions. First, as Veloute posted, Where the Wild Things Are looks really, really promising. Totally got my fingers crossed. Second, for a simpler, cheesy fix, I have to say I'm really looking forward to the first (good?) Disney 2D flick in a quite a long time:

And then at the end, strangely, mixed in while all the kid-type previews, they still threw this in:

(Again, I really want to like this. Even though it looks like RDJ doing himself in an SNL skit.)

Please don't suck. And I think I'm really getting tired of Jude Law, so I'll try to work on that, kthxbai.

Monday, August 10, 2009

You... just... know.

Hooray! I FINALLY got off my ass and watched Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

Alan Rickman made everyone in my theatre giggle with his awesomeness, most notably on the subject line.

I enjoyed it more as it went along, which was nice since often they feel rushed towards the end. It goes without saying I enjoy them most when I am not fresh off a reading of the book. But ever since the 3rd movie, they've been doing a fairly decent job, all things considered. (The first two movies simply don't exist--and yes, I'm looking at you, Chris Columbus.)

I also don't want to jinx it, since the first few scenes with the kids were still kinda painful, but Emma Watson is doing much better than usual. Some of it really can be chalked up to bad lines, but not all of it...

What's wrong with you, I gave you car smile.

I am still alive! Just getting first class assignments taken care of (orientation is next week) and making sure I have all my textbooks. I have to get my student ID and take my laptop in for its certification to be used in the building. It's going to be 90 or 94 today, so I may do the computer one tomorrow.

(I know, I know, this Dentonite is going to be wishing it was 94 in a couple months, I have no doubt.)

But I DID print out the form to register to vote. So I am remembering to do some random things and not others. I also need to call my local police department to get a Firearms Identification Card. For my pepper spray. I had no idea about this, my mom clued me in, since MA is one of the (what, two?) states that require this.

I had a lot of fun with my mom being here last week--got to do lots of Boston things and eat some great Boston food. She got in on a Friday afternoon and after my first easy success of picking someone up at the airport (it's weird to live in a city where the airport is not only IN the city but is actually a fairly short distance away), we dropped off everything at the apartment and headed to the North End for dinner...and dessert.

Salem and Hanover seem to be the major roads into Little Italy, but it's more tempting to stray off the beaten path in hopes of lesser-known yet somehow cheaper fare. The restaurants over here are not terribly cheap. On the other hand, there are a bunch of yummy pastry shops that are (considering the delectables they sell).

The woman ahead of us giggled when I was (audibly) having a hard time deciding. It's a lot like being 5 and in a giant stuffed animal shop.

These were the four winners. The cheesecake is divine but I'm going back for the key lime tart. I can make cheesecake, y'know, but that tart has these little pistachio discs that are ridiculously cute and tasty. The green thing is filled with mascarpone cheese and about five other people needed to help us eat it. And of course, the essential cannoli.

To be fair, I did attempt a lemon meringue pie the other day and it was such a disaster. I usually do well with desserts but this was an all-around suck. The crust was kinda pathetic. Then the lemon part wasn't the right viscosity despite my having cooked it to 190 and the meringue seemed to have stiff peaks but then didn't cook right (so I guess it wasn't). It was spectacular. Oh well, next time.

Then I made udon noodles and those sucked, too. So I left the house for dinner.

Anyway. Back to our story. The day after my mom arrived, Saturday, we went whale watching. First, however, we wandered up to the Harvard campus for food and walking. We chose a much-praised Indian place called Tamarind. Don't. Tough chicken, lukewarm food...the onion fritter things and na'an and potatoes were good, but meh. They were totally coasting on their rep, it was lame.

Harvard was nice, but I can't say I was impressed. Seriously, after Cornell's campus...nothing will top that. But I bet the area is nicer when the leaves are turning. Oh, and great library, natch.

I did sort of giggle to notice their dorms are just as shitty as everyone else's. It was sort of depressing and I'm not even attending.

Some buildings are still pretty great though, check out the doors...

And then while we were walking to dinner (Legal Seafoods) by the wharf/aquarium, we ran into THE WORLD'S FATTEST, CUTEST BUN:

I really don't know what his "job" was, but the little girl just mumbled something about him being a "bad bunny," to me while clearly completely enamored, so that's anyone's guess.

Ok, back to playing with textbooks. Joy.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other...

I finally have access to the computer (some kid pulled the fire alarm in our building last night, but that's another post), I think it's safe to assume you know how incredibly sad I was to hear about John Hughes' passing.

I doubt anyone else comes close to being responsible for so many of the movies I've seen so many times. From an early age to this day, I still watch many of his films repeatedly throughout each year. My sisters, friends and I quote them endlessly.

It is impossible to say which is my favorite, they all take turns. Hell, I have a hard time even choosing just one picture.

I know he didn't direct Pretty In Pink, but he did write and executive produce, and that's clearly where it was at.

Even when he was associated with films I wasn't as crazy about, the writing still often had its moments.

Somehow, I don't think I ever did see Weird Science. Bet you know what's moving to the top of my queue!

I was also sure the above-the-fold story on the New York Times would doubtless be Sotomayor's confirmation, but thanks to Alex for showing me he did indeed make the cut.

He may not have directed since 1991, but it goes without saying what a saddening loss it is.