Saturday, March 26, 2011

Actually, there's one theory that the environmental movement of our day was sparked by the re-release of Bambi in the late 1950s.

ACK! The materials for fall registration have been posted, meaning I have to choose my fall classes soon and I can also see what is and isn't available for spring. It's my FINAL YEAR! Which kinda makes me want to do this:

There are still a shit-ton of things I want/need to take, and especially if I'm on the defense clinic, it really limits my options since I have to devote an entire Monday or Tuesday to that. This might be stressful, we'll see.

And then there's the end of spring 2012. Bar review and a big wedding in D.C.! Whoa. But speaking of taking the, let's talk about needing to get my shit together. As in, WHERE to go...

Ok, so you know how we all have that one (at least one) small talk question we hate getting? Like, what do you do? (Seriously, I usually hated that one.) Or if you're in undergrad--either "what's your major" or the always-awesome "what are you going to do when you graduate?" Lately, I have a new one. Most people know I'm not from here (alarmingly, I seem to bring it up as often as one might who was forced to live in Texas) so they ask me, "So, where are you going to take the bar?" Fucked if I know. I usually say, "Well, it kinda depends on who's going to hire me!" This is probably not the best way to plan where to take a $1,000 2- or 3-day exam, but there it is.

I do not want to practice in Massachusetts. For one thing, I'm pretty sure 1 in 4 people here is a lawyer. Also, I don't really like it. It's ok, but in a just-passing-through kinda way. If I were 24, I might feel differently, but I'm not, so I don't.

I hate saying "I don't want to practice in MA," because I'm afraid it will be like that time in undergrad that I said, "Well, I know I don't want to work in television." And we all know what happened there.

But I've been freaking myself out a little bit by reading up on the bar, mostly the Texas bar, and yeah, it scares the shit out of me. Take a look!

Day One Tuesday 20% (200 points) P&E and MPT (two sections)

Procedure & Evidence Exam (P&E 10%)
Multi‐state Performance Test (MPT 10 %)
3 hours total (90 min. each)

Day Two Wednesday 40% (400 points): The Multi‐state Bar Exam (MBE)

200 multiple‐choice questions
100 a.m., 100 p.m. – 6 hours (3hours each)

Day Three Thursday 40% (400 hundred points): 12 Texas Essays

6 essay a.m., 6 essays p.m.
6 hours total (30 minutes per essay)

About $700, $750 with laptop.

12 Essay Questions:
(2) Texas Real Property
(including Oil and Gas)
(2) Business Associations
(2) UCC
(2) Family Law
(including Marital Property)
(2) Wills & Estates
(1) Trusts or Guardianship
(1) Consumer Law

So let me also take a moment here to say um, oil and gas law? About the most I know about oil and gas law I got from There Will Be Blood. (Seriously, that milkshake line is all about the law of capture. Done.) And it's a BIG AREA.

Or I could practice 5 years somewhere else and then Texas will let me come practice there without the bar. I totally looked that up, too.

Sometimes I look at the morons around me who are Real Lawyers and go, well fuck, they managed to pass it. But then I remind myself I don't know how many times they took it.

Oh and I'm still trying to find a place in The Hague to live, my (hopefully) roommate is as well. Our luck is stalling a bit in this department. I wrote 14 emails yesterday, 5 nopes so far. :/

Ok, fingers crossed, off to go plan next year's courses!

Friday, March 25, 2011

It's aspirin with the "A" and the "S" scraped off.

So I have two shows I do not watch, just so we're straight. And I was NOT watching one of them last week, and on this show, people may or may not sing every week (again, I don't watch, so I wouldn't know). But maybe they had to sing a song from their birth year, and the oldest twats on there were 1984. So out of curiosity I looked up my birth year.

WOW. I was pleased to see I was born in what must at least be one of the top 5 gay-est years for music, complete with the anthem itself, I Will Survive. So it's kinda awesome. Check it out: (and they are ranked by their number in the top 100 for 1979). I snipped out the crap I don't know or don't care about.

1. My Sharona, The Knack
2. Bad Girls, Donna Summer
3. Le Freak, Chic
4. Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?, Rod Stewart

6. I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor
7. Hot Stuff, Donna Summer
8. Y.M.C.A., Village People

11. Too Much Heaven, Bee Gees
12. MacArthur Park, Donna Summer

16. Tragedy, Bee Gees
17. A Little More Love, Olivia Newton-John
18. Heart of Glass, Blondie
19. What a Fool Believes, Doobie Brothers
20. Good Times, Chic
21. You Don't Bring Me Flowers, Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond
22. Knock On Wood, Amii Stewart

25. Shake Your Body (Down to the Ground), Jacksons

28. My Life, Billy Joel

32. I'll Never Love This Way Again, Dionne Warwick
33. Love You Inside Out, Bee Gees
34. I Want You to Want Me, Cheap Trick
35. The Main Event (Fight), Barbra Streisand
36. Mama Can't Buy You Love, Elton John

39. Heaven Knows, Donna Summer and Brooklyn Dreams

45. He's the Greatest Dancer, Sister Sledge

47. She Believes In Me, Kenny Rogers
48. In the Navy, Village People

50. The Devil Went Down To Georgia, Charlie Daniels Band

53. We Are Family, Sister Sledge

55. Every 1's a Winner, Hot Chocolate
56. Take Me Home, Cher

62. I Want Your Love, Chic

69. Got to Be Real, Cheryl Lynn

76. Disco Nights, G.Q.
77. Ooh Baby Baby, Linda Ronstadt

91. Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough,Michael Jackson
92. Bad Case of Lovin' You, Robert Palmer
93. Somewhere In the Night, Barry Manilow
94. We've Got Tonite, Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band
95. Dance the Night Away, Van Halen
96. Dancing Shoes, Nigel Olsson
97. The Boss, Diana Ross

If I could even sing in the first place, I couldn't begin to choose one. But damn, Donna Summer had a good year, huh?

Completely unrelated to anything, I was accepted to my school's clinical program for criminal defense next year! Very excited. And then my second thought was how one of my litigation coaches explained to us once that criminal defense attorneys are, in the public's mind, a step above used car salesman but below new car salesman. Literally, there was a study.

Well wtf I guess we couldn't all grow up watching the same awesome movies.

Yeah, yeah, so real life may not be quite the same, I suspect not. But I just have zero desire to be a prosecutor. And I will totally go back and delete this when the only place I can get hired is the DA's office. Because guess what, I also love eating and staying dry.

OH! And my criminal defense attorney friend back home even offered to let me second chair for him when I'm back next month (I'm still a student, so I get special certification, fear not for the unsuspecting masses). I thought that was super cool (and totally scary), so I just have to see if the timing works out.

And who knows, maybe I'll end up being totally wrong about liking this. Guess I'll find out next year, misdemeanors and felonies here we come. (Theirs, not mine.)

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Martha? Rubbing alcohol for you?

Very sad. In all honesty, I can't say I was a huge fan--not because I disliked her, I enjoyed her very much in her films when I saw them.

It may be quite safe to say, however, that she was more of an icon than an actress. And I get that, but I can't say I ever identified with or adored her. She seemed somewhat controversial in her personal life (ahem, I believe just last week I was talking about Carrie Fisher's autobiography...), but that never bothered me in the slightest.

At the end of the day, I was just never really too well acquainted with her filmography--I mean, can you believe I've never seen Butterfield 8? I feel like a failure as a cinephile, but I'm on it. Promise. And for the record, I still adore Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, that baby never gets old.

(Editor's Note: So I had this nagging feeling like I HAD seen Butterfield 8, and sure enough I went to Netfux to add it, and apparently I already gave it 3/5 stars. And honestly, even after reading the summary, I SO DO NOT RECALL THIS FILM. Maybe it says more about my brain than her performance, but ouch in any case.)

Monday, March 21, 2011

You know what? Fuck you! How about that?

I think I have the beginnings of an ulcer (not as bad as it sounds, really) and why YES, YES that IS snow outside! Coming down like a motherfucker, now that you mention it!

To be filed under: FML and Boston, too.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Hey. You guys made me ink.

So I only watched Limitless yesterday. I was hungry afterward, I couldn't help it. But it was a fun movie, I enjoyed it.

First of all, I don't think this is a very good film for the whole "just say no" drug campaign because I pretty much spent the next couple hours after the movie wanting that drug and being really jealous.

It's got a lot going on visually and for the most part, it's effective. There is one effect they do during the opening credits and then later in the movie that basically just made me want to punch someone, because it got old REAL. FAST. Shorter is (in this case, anyway) definitely sweeter, guys.

I also read a few reviews that said the visual effects and rapid pace seemed to be smoke and mirrors for the lack of structure. I disagree, but I do think the film occasionally buckled under the weight of trying to effectively tackle the book (which I have not read). I thought it did a pretty successful job, although I'm not sure about the ending. I typically love ambiguity, but I guess I just wasn't expecting it? But it was a fun movie with a couple squirm-worthy moments.

And I was glad to see that Bradley Cooper did a really great job carrying the movie.

This character, in the wrong hands, could have been really smarmy, weaselly or arrogant and unlikable, and BC kinda made it look effortless. He pulled off "charming motherfucker" quite well. I was getting a little tired of the smooth jerk type roles he kept landing (I guess The A-Team doesn't count, but I've tried to block that memory from my life), so hopefully variety is on the horizon.

That was a pre-emptive “sh!” Now, I have a whole bag of “sh!” with your name on it.

So last Thursday through this past Monday, I took the fantastic Megabus ($9 down, $13 back!) to NYC to catch up with my best friends, D & L in Manhattan and E in Brooklyn. I was especially glad to see E because she and her hubby are moving to LA this June (for his job). Apparently they were at the tail end of finally buying a condo when this offer came in. What a difficult decision that must have been. (Really, no sarcasm!) Personally I don't think I could ever live in LA, and I really love Brooklyn (at least the part they live in!) but on the other hand, we'd all just been through a pretty brutal winter, so that memory was still pretty fresh.

We really didn't do anything taxing (although I am counting all those stairs in the back of my mind...jesus, didn't I used to live in Tokyo?! What happened?) or pricey, mostly just hanging out, relaxing and eating/drinking (mostly at home). I also knocked out Carrie Fisher's autobiography, Wishful Drinking, in my downtime (L's copy I plucked off his shelf). It's something you could easily read in a single sitting, a nice light read, despite being about her struggle with addiction (haha, I accidentally left out the "c" at first, which would have been a far duller book) and being bipolar.

Anyway, I completely forgot she was married to Paul Simon for so long! And I never knew certain songs were about her (She Moves On) or at least heavily referenced her (Hearts and Bones, Graceland, Allergies, in fact a lot of the whole Graceland album). Anyway, it was an interesting read. (And she also turned it into a one-woman show.)

I also commented on L's copy of Alex & Me, which I really love. The first thing he said was the first thing that always comes to my mind when I hear about Alex--how absolutely gutting his last words to Dr. Pepperberg were. Man, I don't think I could read that book again. But I wouldn't mind owning it, just in case...

So I also mentioned Peter Gethers' The Cat Who Went to Paris. The first one is probably the best, but it's part of a trilogy. I own all three but if you want to talk about impossible-to-read-without-crying books, that third one is a bitch. Because despite the title of the third book and probably needless to say, Norton doesn't live forever (at least not literally). And I don't know if purebreeds have a shorter lifespan, but it wouldn't surprise me, and Norton I believe was 11 or so? I could be wrong. Anyway, LONG story short, L had never heard of these books. His birthday is just around the corner, so a copy is already on the way!

We mostly ate at home, delicious home cooked meals and lots of red wine, followed by trying to top each other with the worst things we've seen on the internet or really inappropriate jokes. There is one website I simply cannot bring myself to post here. It is not quite as bad as "Two Girls One Cup" infamy, but it definitely belongs in that category. This was also just incredible:

And I learned that Manhattan public access TV shows hardcore porn after midnight! I had no idea who Robin Byrd was, but oh I do now. And apparently before Comcast came to town, there were no restrictions whatsoever! (Now they can't show actual penetration (though apparently this does not mean you can't show fucking), nor can they show, um, you know. The finale, shall we say.) But holy crap!

But most of the time, it's just the Robin Byrd show from the late 80s, early 90s, and I swear to god this is filmed in someone's garage or something. And porn stars come on and do a little show and then all get interviewed at the end. Time (or more likely drugs and alcohol) has not been kind to this woman and she is slightly spazzy, to say the least. (There's nothing explicit in the video, it's just a train wreck.)

I love how she never actually explains wtf a "dental dam" is. Not that I wanted her to show us, on the other hand.

So I mostly just relaxed in NYC, but I also got to try on my bridesmaid dress for next June for D & L's wedding in D.C., and it was not horrible at all! It is also a forgiving thing, though I still plan on weighing less by that time, something in which bar review will no doubt play a large role. It is a black dress and I get a purple rose. I also have to give a speech. Yay. And my dress has pockets for my flask. Just kidding. Sort of.

And Sunday was spent in Brooklyn at a giant flea market (neat stuff but really pricey!) with brunch beforehand. Btw, guava mimosas? A VERY GOOD IDEA. And we wrapped up at Beer Table, which I think I've mentioned before. The guy who owns it is from Carrollton, TX, and they have yummy beers and snackies. We went through two bowls of "roasted almonds with cocoa nibs" nom nom nom.

Being back sucks. It means I have to get back to work now. :(

Friday, March 18, 2011

Vince, there is no cure for a bullet in the brain. It is very fatal.

It is very pretty out, I think I will go see a movie!

In my defense (ha ha), I found out I'm just witnessing on Sunday instead of advocating (that will be the following Sunday). So make it two movies, wouldja? Limitless and The Lincoln Lawyer, here I come. I read that the former is unexpectedly funny (in a good way) so I'm looking forward to it.

Kinda sucks that it IS so pretty out, but oh well. I choose movies!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.

How about an old post? This was the day before I left for NYC, Wednesday...

I'm so glad to know I still have at least a modicum of self-control. I finished today at 3:30, and while that sounds pretty reasonable, you just don't know the beast I was dealing with. It was like, a lot of research. Like a lot. And while I didn't ALSO incorporate her "pull these if you have time" cases (I PULLED them, but no, I did not INCORPORATE them into my brief, hells no), I got it the hell done well before her "end of the week" deadline. (Prolly cause I'm outta this dump as of 8am tomorrow morning!) And I ALSO submitted my application for the clinical program for next year, against my better judgment. It's a combination of qualification and lottery, and I would probably really benefit from it. But the particular area I want requires my presence a week before school, meaning hopping straight back from Amsterdam with no fun or recovery. (Yeah yeah, WOE IS ME, I get it. But still.) So maybe they won't pick me. If they don't, I shall take it as a sign to travel. ;)

OH! But my self-control was not logging into facebook to write, "I'M OUT, BITCHES!"

Maybe I'm an adult after all...but probably not.

So I have a crazy amount of work to do on my REGULAR research project, but NOT TONIGHT. AND NOT FOR THE NEXT FIVE DAYS.

Oh, and this week? IS RESTAURANT WEEK. nomnomnomnomnom. I had no idea til yesterday, so I snuck off from school (I'm not sure why I "snuck off," it's not like I was ditching class or anything...) and went to Fleming's. It's in the theater district, so pretty close to school. I sat at the bar, had a really attentive and personable bartender and THE BEST GODDAMN DINNER I'VE HAD IN AGES. I had the fullest tummy without being so full as to instantly regret.

I kept working on my research (as much as you can in a dark-ass steakhouse, tbh. Even the bathrooms were dark...) and did the Restaurant Week 3-course dinner for $33. (Restaurant Week means you get a separate menu with 3 choices for each part.) I started with lobster bisque (it wasn't cream-based, but it was surprisingly even yummier), followed by a petit filet mignon (and my awesome bartender brought me bearnaise at my request, no extra charge!) and dessert? I opted for the cheesecake with blueberry sauce. I really had to slow down about 3/4 of the way into the steak...wanted to eat as much as possible without pushing it and yet be able to accommodate that cheesecake. Damn, yo. My only complaint was the stinginess with the blueberry sauce...wth! I nommed it all up, had a crust on top that reminded me of my mom's apricot brandy cake. DELISH.

(And that was all I wrote.)

Now I'm back from NYC but I will have to have another post for that! (I did very little other than relax with D & L, eat good food and do more walking than I've done all year, which isn't saying much, really...Oh, and wake up to and continue to read all about the devastating never-ending parade of horrors in Japan. Jesus.)

Sunday, March 06, 2011

A hard man is good to find.

I just sent my trial partner an email titled "hookers and motives" and it was totally relevant to my argument. Law school CAN be fun!

Saturday, March 05, 2011

Napoleon, don’t be jealous that I’ve been chatting online with babes all day.

I may have laughed out loud several times, but Take Me Home Tonight still gets a straight-up C.

For one thing, those were cocktail-infused laughs. For another, I doubt I would laugh the second time.

Topher Grace was good as always, doing his Topher Grace thing. Anna Faris was criminally underused to the point I had to wonder why they bothered. The chick who played the love interest was so totally forgettable, uninteresting and vanilla that I refuse to bother looking up her name. And Grace's sidekick buddy was decent and probably the most humorous character in the film, but we're talking hardcore Poor Man's Oliver Platt. It would have been awkward, I suppose, for Grace to have a 48-year-old bff, so they couldn't actually hire Oliver Platt. But wow.

I do respect the movie's R rating, because this is the type of film that usually reeks of PG-13 desperation. There was an immense amount of swearing, one gratuitous boob scene, and plenty of cocaine. (Apparently the coke usage was controversial? Dude, you already have your R rating and you're pretending it's the 80s, go for it. Anyway.)

And not to nit-pick, but you know, it really felt more like 1991 somehow, not so mid-80s.

Overall, glad I saw it. But it just utterly lacked the sort of charm that made Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist surprisingly cute. I don't think the setting or decade matters as much as the characters and writing. If you get the latter two right, you can make it the 80s, present day or whatever, who cares. This one was basically a fail.

I'm not sure if I get to see The Adjustment Bureau tonight. I got an email this morning from the professor for whom I'm doing research, and she is in dire need of additional research on a completely different topic by the end of the week. HAHAHA. SURE WHY NOT.

Seriously, the email goes something like:

Can you look up [topic] and [topic] regarding [other issue, none of which I have any background in] and cite all this [crap I've listed below]? And prepare summaries on [this case] and [this case] and [this other case or 5] and relate it back to [that original topic you know nothing about]? kthxbai.

Only way longer.

And naturally, those are not case NAMES but more like "the case involving that thing with those people."

So that kinda woke me up this morning.

On the downside of completely unrelated things, I got an email today about an upcoming show for Paul Simon in Boston. Same week as the Katy Perry show, neither of which I get to see since I won't be in town. Seriously? Paul Simon, too? FML. Though my wallet is eternally grateful.

On the plus side, again, related to nothing, I had 3 inches of hair snipped off yesterday (at the stylist's suggestion...Boston and my hair are not getting along it would seem) and he made it a nice darker auburn color for spring. So I can be all pretty while I'm holed up in my hovel reading and shit.

But today is going to involve Indian buffet, that's all I know. Well, and lots of reading. LOTS.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

I shall call him squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my squishy.

Whew, I did 90 minutes of Bikram yoga today! It's 104 degrees in there and then you do 26 postures, 2 sets each, and 2 breathing exercises at the beginning and end which kinda sorta make you dizzy. It kicks my ass Big. Time. I did it for a while in Fort Worth--and it was easier then!! That was 2008 but wow those 3 years made a (totally depressingly) big difference, it would appear.

I have a 10 day pass so I need to really make it work...this shit's expensive! :O But if I use my booze money that's a help. ;)

I hope I can stick with it, though, because once I finished, I swear to god I was thinking, "I DESERVE A DOZEN CUPCAKES AND A HUGE BOTTLE OF RED WINE." I think that idea may not be my best.

Ok, I gotta get back to my shamefest known as AI. That's right, I'm owning it to the extent that I will abbreviate the title but I refuse to actually use the full title. I've been reading tax and professional responsibility all day, this is just what I need. INSIPID, SHALLOW PERFECTION.

So tonight the top 12 guys sing, the top 12 girls sing tomorrow, then they announce the final 12 (6 of each, sadly) on Thursday. I say sadly because there are about 4 guys I really adore but I couldn't name you a single chick right now. They were just all MEH to me somehow. Probably cause I'm gettin' old, don't recognize the songs and I FUCKING CRINGE when someone (one of the girls) goes, "I've never heard a Beatles song in my life!" Honey, I assure you. You have. But when you do that, not only do I want you gone, I want to physically slap you. I'm not violent, but your dream is to sing? I give the fuck up.

Anyway, this dude is Casey Abrams and he is TOTALLY my favorite. He can play and sing anything and he's goofy:

(Not worth watching after he finishes playing, it was just the only clip I could find.)

AND HE PLAYS THE STAND-UP BASS. FTW. (Most girls go for a guy with a cool I go for a stand-up bass. Which may be why I hang out in jazz clubs when I can.) ANYWAY. I'm sold, he's got my vote! ;)

Also, some night I'll probably have way too much to drink and tell you about how I think this show has made me start to like J-Lo, I NEVER THOUGHT THAT WAS POSSIBLE. Even funnier is that D does, too, and for some reason she was always TOP on his uber-celebrity-shit-list. (You would probably have to microwave kittens to top Mariah Carey on MY list, but whatevs.)