Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Do I smell the revolting stench of self-esteem?

Something else I found in my email from my dad, the The Dove Self-Esteem Fund. Neat little short.

Do you really think people are interested in nasal sex?

I was sorting through some saved emails and found this gem my dad sent me, GreenCine's list of top 50 cult movies. If I ever blow through a huge chunk of my Netfucker's list and/or come into a considerable sum of money I would definitely join up with them. As I recall from Alex's time with them, however, they spread their love fairly thin. Waiting in line to get head from Clive Owen might take less time than finally getting some of their foreign/indie gems in the mail.

So to determine what I've yet to see...

1) Delicatessen (great stuff, need to re-watch and buy)

2) City of Lost Children (only seen once, not one dearly loved but I'll give it a second shot)

3) Audition (great film, I never need to see it again; gross eye scene, nuff said. Really great statement about the stereotype of Japanese women, though, especially appreciated by me while I was living there).

4) Mulholland Dr. (I LOVE THIS MOVIE. I own it and want to make D watch it and yet haven't yet. No idea why. Fairly accessible for Lynch, still no clue about the dumpster creature, though).

5) Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (A classic, owned and loved).

6) Solaris (Criterion Collection) (never seen. eh.)

7) Shadows (I'm embarrassed to say I've really never heard of this. May add to queue...)

8) Blue Velvet (I remember finally getting permission to watch this at age 11 and you know, REALLY NOT GETTING IT. Which is probably why my parents let me watch it in the first place).

9) American Splendor (So unimpressed, but I still love Giamatti).

10) Sex & Fury (Never heard of it, added to queue...seems to be a Kill Bill influence).

11) Lunacy (Saw a ton of trailers before I left my shitty theatre, but never saw. LOVE Svankmajer...great reminder for me to add it and pop it up to #1 on my list).

12) Naked Lunch (Criterion Collection) (I think I saw this. I could barely get through the book...much respected, though).

13) Possession (wtf? Added...goddamn, netfux doesn't have it!!)

14) Repo Man: Special Edition (I'm going to get smacked on this one, but Alex Cox or no, the hell's the big deal? This shit sucked).

15) Peeping Tom (Criterion Collection) (Ok, added, sounds great).

16) Alice (Did I mention I ADORE Svankmajer? This was my first...)

17) Videodrome (Criterion Collection) (Eh, not bad).

18) Harold and Maude (This so did nothing for me).

19) Slacker (Criterion Collection) (YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN).

20) Clockwork Orange (Have and will never watch. WORST EYE SCENE EVER).

21) Hedwig and the Angry Inch (Pretty good, don't need to own).

22) Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer (Recently seen for the first time, nice.)

23) Mystery Train (I recall seeing this in Japan and liking it, yet I can only recall the first story...)

24) Ghost World (Last film I saw before leaving the country, adored the hell out of it. Could watch endlessly).

25) Donnie Darko (Director's Cut) (Very enjoyable, I'd even say I love it, just not a part of the cult club that worships at the Shrine of Darko).

26) Pink Flamingos (Tried TWICE, cannot get through it, though haven't tried in nearly ten years).

27) Man Bites Dog (Criterion Collection) (LOVE IT, owned).

28) Crash (uh, next).

29) Twin Peaks: First Season (Disc 1 of 4) (wtf? Kiss my ass, it's all perfection).

30) Blade Runner (Director's Cut) (I need to see it again, I know everyone else adores it).

31) Barbarella (I'm pretty sure I can give this one a miss).

32) Jubilee (Criterion Collection) (Never heard of it; can you believe Netfux has this?? Added, sounds only mildly intriguing, though...)

33) Call of Cthulhu (Also never heard of, though sounds interesting...added!)

34) American Psycho (Uncut Verison) (Really, really enjoy this. ALWAYS makes me laugh. I can't stand it when people don't get this book/movie).

35) Near Dark (Really? I like Kathryn Bigelow, I just never thought this was worth watching. I'll ask the horror fiend first).

36) Dead Alive (Great stuff, no one appreciates this one).

37) Easy Rider (I liked it, but I think it was tons better in its time).

38) Boy and His Dog (Never heard of it, sounds awesome, totally added the hell out of it).

39) This Is Spinal Tap (This is on my short, short list of films I'm humiliated to say I've not seen all the way through).

40) Fellini Satyricon (Never seen, but judging by the description it sounds worth my time...)

41) Tetsuo: The Iron Man (Once was more than enough).

42) Pillow Book (I know, I know, I need to see it...)

43) Blood for Dracula (Criterion Collection) (Can't say the description isn't intriguing but I have never seen it).

44) Meet the Feebles (A big favorite. Damn this movie always makes me laugh).

45) Putney Swope (The hell? I've never heard of this, either and it sounds like one to watch...)

46) Dumbland (Very good stuff, could see again in a few years).

47) Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover (I've been fucking TRYING to watch this for ages but it's been on "save" on netfux for about a decade).

48) Withnail and I (Criterion Collection) (I really didn't understand the adoration, it was okay).

49) Gummo (Especially after reading the blurb, I really think my life will be just fine without viewing this).

50) Wicker Man (Theatrical Version) (D recently watched this for the first time and was let down...I don't think it's anything too high on my list, either).

But she's out there, somewhere. And when I find her, I'll feel it way down in my wish bone.

I watched the second episode of Saving Grace last night. The religious crap kinda took a back burner, which really brought to light what a mediocre cop-mystery show this thing is. I mean, I saw the whole thing, but I must have zoned out because I don't really know how they ended up busting the guy. And two guys are now vying for her attention, like a past and current lover, both of whom work on the force? I don't know. I don't even know which one she's sleeping with, they look the same to me.

All I know is that the show has ruined Spike for me. I realize James Marsters is neither blonde nor British, but American brunette really doesn't suit him, which is a total shame since I suppose he really is. (He was only on last night's episode, he was the bad guy, shhhhh).

Anyway. I have no idea why I keep watching this show. I must like Holly Hunter a whole fuck of a lot more than even I realized.

A week from today (I hope) I will be standing in line for Jon Stewart. Actually I think by this time of day it starts taping. So hopefully my happy ass will be in a chair watching the show.

I mentioned it in yesterday's comments but the husband also replied to Mob's questions, certainly worth checking out as he can actually reply to the comic book question.

Speaking of awesome husbands, mine bought me the new Special Edition Secret of NIMH, a classic I adore. Widescreen and everything. See? Sometimes the first pic actually does relate to something. Sometimes.

Now if you'll excuse me, I see CNN is leading with some story about Cheney claiming the U.S. attorney firings are a "witch hunt" and Alberto Gonzales is a "good man," and I have to go because I haven't had a really good laugh all day.

Monday, July 30, 2007

To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American.

I just don't know about this Saving Grace show. I watched the pilot and I really wanna know, who the fuck is this aimed at? It's a religious show for heathens but I ask you, what heathen would watch a religious show? I'll watch just about anything Holly Hunter does (and I assure you she IS the show), but surely people like me make up a teeny tiny group of people?

Ah, maybe religious people watch it, you say. Hmm, well, it opens with one hell of a raunchy sex scene (for commercial TV) and hey, while we're on that, did I miss the memo? Can we say "shit" and all its variations on commercial TV now? Sure, it's got the 9/10EST slot, but still! There were two VERY CLEAR "shits" and two "bullshits." I've got a filthier mouth than anyone, I just didn't realize this was how it worked now. So I don't see religious people really digging it.

She's very heathen-ish. I like her. (All that swearing! Drinking! Slutting around with her married partner!!) Ok, maybe the last one is a no no. But you get the idea. She's a perfectly good person, just a little morally compromised.

And then the end was a little sappy. That's just a bad move no matter what your show's about. Though on the plus side it's co-starring Laura San Giacomo, whom I've always really liked. (And no, I have never seen a single episode of Just Shoot Me, unless we're counting episodes watched at 3am over the Pacific Ocean, which we're not).

It's not preachy, really (yet), but I'm very wary of religious-themed shows (ok, so this is probably the first one I've ever seen if you must know), whether or not it stars the magnificent Hunter. I'm only one show in, so I'll give it another chance tonight...

Anyhoo. Been tagged by Mob and this is going to be hard, as it will involve thinking. He was originally tagged to answer five random questions and then came up with five of his own...

1. What got you into the blog world in the first place; was it something you read about, did you know someone who did it, etc?

Dammit. I have no idea. I originally did it as an exercise in writing, but I did a very shit job of it. After reading Mob's for a while I thought if I got back into it and kept it up for a little while, then told people about it, I'd be more inspired to stick to it.

2. What was the first film you bought with your own money to watch over and over again, be it on DVD, VHS, Betamax...and is it a film that you still like today?

The first VHS I got was a birthday/Michaelmas/xmas present (can't recall which), called Horror Express. I was really young but I come from a cool family. I was a huge fan and still am. The first DVD I bought was Streets of Fire and it remains my favorite of all time. I know the sound so well it's actually what I use when setting up a new sound system.

3. Since celebs always want to speak for the world about how we should be pitching in and saving the world, who would you choose to represent us the best?

VIGGO! No, for real. Viggo Mortensen. The only issue of Premiere I ever kept was one with an interview of him. I was never a huge fan, just enjoyed his work, but after reading that I really took something away from it and he seemed very practical and a sharp guy. He strikes me someone who isn't totally removed from reality. The cat's pajamas, if you will.

4. What do you think is the most unlikely comic-book to film translation, the one that no one will ever be able to translate properly? (No fair cheating and naming the existing ones that shouldn't have been made...)

Ok, seriously, I have no idea. I'm going to make my husband do a blog entry when he gets home and answer these. He'll know this one.

5. Tell me the type of music that you like least, then tell me the artist from that genre that you find the least annoying. The lesser of two evils, if you will.

This was much easier to answer when I worked at Express. Those 18-year-old bitches listened to KISS FM ALL THE GODDAMN TIME. Modern R&B, easily my least favorite ever. I can take rap, I even like some. Country? Bring it on, no problem. Metal, Manson, maybe even some techno (that one's also a least-favorite but it doesn't PISS ME OFF). Get that fucking goddamn R&B bullshit the fuck away from me. I can't even tell you who I find least annoying because it's all THE SAME. And I can be a young, hip cookie, that is not an "old" thing to say. And that station played the same shit twice in an hour sometimes, I fucking heard them do it.

Ok, India Arie would be least annoying. The only reason I know is because a co-worker brought her CD into Express and it was so much above the usual SHITE I actually had to ask who it was. It was decent, for sure, but I've never sought it out.

Now, even harder, to tag people and come up with random questions of my own...and I tag Triana, Veloute, Cinemaslave Joe and Liverpool Al.

1. Has a movie ever inspired you to try something, go somewhere, learn something new?

2. What was the first book in your youth/teenage years that really stands out as the first book you ever read that actually challenged your way of thinking or really made an impression on you?

3. If you could revive something from the 80s (or 70s if that's more your era), what would it be?

4. What purchase have you been delaying for an item you'd like to splurge on?

5. If you could have the role in any existing movie ever made, which role which would you want to play? (Male or female, whatever).

Sunday, July 29, 2007

You can thank whatever pig god you pray to that you haven't turned me into a murderer.

This is too creepy and I have a real talent for doing it. So by sheer coincidence, I had also rented and have just watched Mutiny On the Bounty. Never seen it, it's both a multiple Oscar nominee (it lost to Lawrence of Arabia, one I admit I was just never that crazy about) and a Brando flick. Starring who else? Why, Trevor Howard, from the previous post! (And from The Third Man, he gets around).

Slightly different role, if you will. You could potentially not even recognize him.

And talk about downers, jesus.

Very good stuff, I was highly, highly impressed. It was also really gorgeous. (Brando was pretty easy on the eyes but I'm referring to the cinematography, actually). It should be noted it also lost the Best Cinematography Oscar to LOA, but on that one I concede.

It actually came on two discs, it's that long, but it was one where I barely noticed the passage of time. I think I will take up Al's suggestion of doing a top 10 for 2007 of what I really think are the best films I've seen this year. I'm still going to do the 2007 film release list, but might as well do a list of films I truly enjoyed.

Oh, and D just called. Albertsons has their Halloween candy out. No shit.

No, it's right, I'm sure. It fits in with 'delirium' and 'Baluchistan'.

Due to a recent discussion of The Third Man, MacGuffin and Liverpool Al made me curious to see Brief Encounter (penned by Noel Coward), which I watched this afternoon. Very direct, dramatic and a total downer. Thanks, fuckers.

(Seriously, it's even thundering madly outside just to go with the movie).

Normally I don't usually meet people, unless I already know them.

I got a surprise day off...someone asked me to pick up in August and she'd work for me on Sunday. How can I turn down a free Sunday? Those bitches drag something mean.

Instead? I've got THE PIE & PASTRY BIBLE. Weebl and Bob would be beside themselves. I'm makin' apple piiiiiiiie. The store did not have any of the first TEN kinds of apples the bible people preferred, so I had to go with, "...and if you live in a shithole, yes, Red Delicious and Pink Lady will do." Granted, I wasn't at Central Market, but somehow last night an extra thirty minutes in the car for apples I couldn't be sure they'd have, eh, didn't do it for me.

So I'm gonna make PIE. I did not make the crust. The pastry chef in Vermont is weeping, I know, but I wanna see how the innards come out first before I fuck up on multiple levels. I'm not even sure I like apple pie, but the husband sure does and it will make the house smell bitchin'. Sold.

And I planted my pumpkin seeds this morning. I marked off the area in the backyard so I'll know where nothing grew after the weeds take it over. Right now it sort of looks like an unmarked pet's grave or something.

Friday, July 27, 2007

My own grandmother fought the Indians for sixty years... then choked to death on lemon pie.

Great day so far, must say. Got off work two hours early (was only picking up a half-day for someone) and then got home and found six dollars in my pocket. Get out.

Actually it's really hard to type. While I was at work it was pretty slow so I got to read a decent amount of Catcher In the Rye. Good for a re-visit every other year or so. And I'm having a really hard time not saying things like, "It killed me, it really did," or "He was sore as hell." You know.

Yesterday was shockingly constructive for a day off. I got my brother-in-law's birthday wrapped up and mailed off. And his birthday is two weeks away! And yet, I'll probably bungle the 3-year-old's birthday in October, the one who actually needs her goodies on time! God, she is three, isn't she...

Then I hit Guitar Center for some strings and a little recap on how to restring my guitar. I haven't done that since I lived in Austin (six years ago) and even then just once. And damned if the cutest thing didn't help me pick out a set and even showed me a neat trick to stretch out the strings to keep them from constantly going out of tune when they're new. (Unless D's reading this, and then he was a foul, foul toad who smelled like poop and orange juice).

I had called them earlier in the day to make sure someone could show me how to do it and apparently the same guy ended up helping me in the afternoon. He almost got a negative score right off as he said, "So where's the guy?" and I struggled to think what decade I'd landed in. "It's for your son, right?"

And perhaps this is just me, but I feel almost offended when people assume I have children. It's just that I know I'm too immature/young/selfish to have actual small people I'm responsible for, and I can't fathom a day when I won't be. I will have to be much older. And I know they don't know this. So I don't get offended, but it's hard not to act shocked, which I try to contain. After all, I could conceivably have (at least) three goddamn children by now, really.

So I explained it was my husband's old guitar but it was for me to play. (I have a twelve string but I figured baby steps might be a nice idea).

And there you have it, my guitar story.

Then I came home and successfully restrung it while catching up on the week's Jon Stewart and Colbert. I quite enjoyed the entire episode of The Daily Show devoted solely to mercilessly mocking the YouTube debates. Good times.

As far as movies, I saw a cute and peculiar film the other day. Every once in a while, Netfux makes a special recommendation for me and oddly enough, they're usually pretty accurate. (Unlike something like Amazon or google, which never cease to amaze with their cluelessness). This was a little UK something called Cashback. Even more strangely, it started out as a trite and somewhat pretentious thing. Recently dumped art boy becomes insomniac and oh yes, he's completely entranced by the female form. Kill me now, right?

No, not if you like titties. This film is full of 'em. Clearly, that wasn't what made me like it. It actually got better as it went along. It turned out to be quirky in an unintentional way as our hero started working the night shift at a small grocery store. Good lines and moments, decent ending. Nothing saccharine about it, always a plus. (Well, some of the narration was annoying, but what else is new). I enjoyed it.

Also watched 3:10 to Yuma, which I found a little...well, I hate to say disappointing, but there it is. It just didn't really do it for me. Crucify me, I know, go for it. I think Westerns have to be extra special to really grab me, as far as I can tell. (e.g. Lonesome Dove).

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

What's a jizz-mopper?

Ok, that's it. Someone bring me the head of Ben Affleck. I forgot he was fucking this up for all of us.

Are you fucking kidding me?? Casey Affleck as Patrick Kenzie? No offense, but I just always pictured Patrick with some grit to him, late thirties, a bit weathered, you know? Not FIFTEEN, for fuck's sake. Michelle Monaghan may be fine as Angie, we'll see, even if she is a poor man's Liv Tyler.

Not even Ed Harris and Amy Madigan can save this; so looks to be just another ten cent thriller turd to be flushed down the shitter.

Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?

Whoops, poor little Lindsay Lohan. Turned herself in last week only to get busted and booked last night. Way to be a role model. Way to not learn from the Paris Hilton debacle. Oh well, I can't say I've really ever been much of a fan. (But if you're going to drive around drunk chasing your ex-assistant, let's not have coke in our pockets, shall we?)

The Daily Show sent me my ticket reminders today, so I printed it out at work like it told me to. Then I carried it shamelessly around the floor, willing someone to notice. But no one A) noticed B) cared. My co-workers suck.

We watched Bridge to Tarabithia last night. Meh. Disappointed. I expected there to be a little more fantasy to it. It was definitely decent but it could have been so much more.

I have a big craving for the pinwheel beef/cheese numbers from Central Market. I'm off to go whine and make D take me.

Oh, and the YouTube debates? HMM. I guess it was remotely different than the usual. I had to keep taking breaks to walk out of the room, it was kind of annoying. As those things will be...everyone vacillating between ATTACK and ASS-KISS mode with the other candidates gets revolting. I still have a soft spot for Gravel after seeing his YouTube ad my dad sent me. Right on. (I'm sure you've all seen it by now, but what the hell).

Monday, July 23, 2007

I want to get rid of you as much as I want to get rid of that crap from Ikea.

I'm disturbed. At work we get to bid on our shifts for each segment of the year that they deem "a quarter." Sometimes the bid lasts for two months or in this case, it will go through the beginning of January. So kind of a long time, meaning I hope you get a shift you like, damn. And the holidays in there are Thanksgiving, Labor Day, Christmas and New Years. And seriously? It's really time to start thinking about Christmas already? And then New Years??

I don't even know what the fuck I'm going to be for Halloween. Which is now my wedding anniversary. Which means I've nearly been married for a YEAR!

So I'm going to go ahead and start keeping track of my best films of 2007 because if you haven't noticed, I never did finish 2006. I just...can't. They sucked. But as my dad pointed out, no matter how much they sucked, there was still a top ten. And I'll be damned if I know what they are.

And I don't think I had any New Years Resolutions, as I knew I didn't feel like keeping any right now. But of course I have things I mean to or would like to do. Learning the guitar, taking singing lessons and exercising again are probably my top three. Being in a play is up there also, but my crazy schedule has not been play-friendly for quite some time.

But you know what totally rules? All this time I've been plotting and scheming to myself that I'll do what I have to do in order to get Xmas Eve off. I don't work on Xmas Eve. I just don't. And you know what? Christmas Eve, the goddamn day after Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve are all considered holidays at the cookie factory!! I nearly wet myself. This year, Xmas and New Years are Mon/Tues, meaning if I can swing Sat/Sun off, I am totally in. The downside? I will end up with shit hours. Is it worth it? Quite definitely, I'm sure.

I still can't believe it. I must be missing something.

Less importantly, I am totally curious about this YouTube debate for the Dems tonight, I admit it. I may tune in for a little while rather than watch Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert rip it apart tomorrow night. Oooh, and congrats to The Daily Show for its SIX Emmy noms and Colbert for its four.

I looked at tix on TDS and there are no tickets available through July 08. I'd better make that flight, damn.

(How fucking rude is it, anyway, to nominate Studio 60 for anything in light of its cancellation? Which table do you think is going to be the drunkest?) And I'm not sure House, M.D. can beat The Sopranos (last season, blah blah) or maybe not Heroes. It should, though. Even if it was a weakish season. The intelligence of the writing alone is enough for me. I guess if Hugh Laurie at least gets Lead Actor I won't bitch too heavily. And you know, I don't watch the Emmys. I'm not a TV girl. I might watch this year if I have a puzzle to do. (Like that time I did not watch the Carrie Underwood v. Bo Bice American Idol finale).

Omg, and I forgot to tell everyone: We went to the Kwik-E-Mart!

Because of The Simpsons Movie (whose premiere was won by Vermont! WOOHOO!), eleven 7-11 locations in the country have converted to a Kwik-E-Mart. Well, we have one of them here in Dallas. D and I went this past weekend and took pictures (like sooooo many others). You could tell the guy behind the counter was done with the whole thing, but everyone else was having a blast. It was cute. We bought Buzz Cola (they are not making Duff Beer to keep it family friendly, pshah) and oohed at the cabinets of pink-sprinkled donuts. I'll post pics soon. (D drank the Buzz Cola, it tastes just like Tab. We also kept one just to be gross.)

Debate time!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

My God. I haven't been fucked like that since grade school.

Needless to say, I'm not going to say a single thing about the last Potter. I have definite rants/opinions, and even though anyone who cares has probably read it (unless you're Joe and your postman hates you), I'm not going to be the one to ruin a single solitary thing for anyone. Anyone wishing to go into detail can email me. I did like it; it's very different from the other books, but I did like it.

I polished it off late last night (someone worked half my shift for me yesterday--the down side to that being I haven't had an actual day off since Friday the 13th, but on the plus side I got off early enough to spend the day reading like the rest of the country). It's hard not to say anything.

I think I also bargained some cookies in the midst of a shift swap. Since I'm in doubt, I'll make them anyway; it's been too long since I've made cookies. Just some regular oatmeal-chocolate-chip, I think.


Jon Stewart is, theoretically, two weeks from Tuesday. Assuming all goes well. We keep joking about what shmuck we're going to get for a guest (assuming we get there at all). He mostly has great guests but we'll so fall into that 10% dull-as-shit guest night.

I am so uninspired it's not even funny. I can't even pretend I have better things to do. I'm sure I do (more constructive, at least), but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop being a lazy toad to do them.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria.


I'll elaborate later about the colorful characters we met on our wait. I really have to applaud the Barnes & Noble on Cooper in Arlington, though. They must have had nearly 1,000 people there. They had to empty the entire store due to being at more than capacity and it was total and utter chaos (there were different colored papers we had, and then subdivided from there by letter of the alphabet--oh my). And it really somehow moved along quite rapidly. Out of there by 1am.

In the meantime, as you might imagine, I've got a book I'm dying to read.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Could you fluff a little faster?

I watched Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore last night, which I had never seen before. I was really impressed! That was an awesome movie. It wasn't a comedy by any means but it made me laugh a few times--the relationship between Ellen Burstyn and the kid who plays her son was great. I can't believe I didn't want to beat him half the time. (Alfred Lutter, who interestingly enough is now "CEO and co-founder of NetChemistry in Southern California, which provides software to banks.")

And there was this other little kid I thought was a little boy (those 70s haircuts, you know), until the face was just too familiar and I realized, oh yes,

that's little Jodie Foster.

I followed that up with The Third Man, highly recommended by MacGuffin and also Liverpool Al. Very enjoyable. The way it's shot is just incredible, what a gorgeous noir film. The setting alone makes for an easy viewing, and this is a film I could certainly see again.

Now I was prepared for the worst on the Depressing Scale, as it's Graham Greene. But it wasn't all that bad, nowhere near Brighton Rock territory. (I've only read BR, not sure if there even is a film). Sure, it was still a bit of a downer, really, just not the same kick-in-the-guts Brighton Rock had to offer. Anyhoo, great stuff.

And finished up by re-visiting an old 80s classic, Outrageous Fortune. Hee hee. Don't judge. It makes me laugh...or at least snicker. Had not seen that in about ten years, probably.

And now we're off to get the Atari repaired. He's sick.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

You are a savage creature John Spartan, and I wish for you to leave my domicile now!

I keep forgetting to mention I watched Film Crew: Hollywood After Dark, the new venture from some of the MST gang. I really miss the silhouettes, which is an odd thing to miss? Great cracks, though, well worth my time. Not as good as some of their best MST3K, but I'll take it where I can get it. What a fucking awful movie, too.

* * *

Ok, I just paused Premonition to come bitch. I'm three minutes in and I have to bitch. You know what I will never understand in movies or shows? When one member of a couple surprises their significant other by BUYING A HOUSE FOR THE TWO OF THEM. I can't think of something scarier to fuck up. Well, it's just a 30-year-mortgage, I'm sure the place will grow on you. I just don't fucking buy it. Now The West Wing pulled it off nicely when Tobey bought the house his wife had been coveting for years. That would be like D buying me a house on Oak Street in Denton. That, I get. But I mean, however cool or classic the house appears, the layout is kinda crucial, too, not to mention one's overall feel for what is to become their home each and every night.

Sorry, it bugs me.

* * *

JESUS. Don't EVER watch that movie.

It's not even that it was all that shit, really. It started out fairly bland and damn, it actually sort of improved as it went along, you know? But two things.

First of all, unless you plan on just opening up your wrists anyway, why bother with this one? OK? And just when I thought it was going to have a pretty decent ending? The movie actually CAME all over itself. And made me watch. And then it slapped me.

Just fucking avoid it altogether, I say.

(But of course she did a great job).

I think I have it. A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense not to himself.

Conversation between cashier and her friend (?) standing next to me while I purchased my vodka:

Fr: Man, that's messed up about him goin' to the hospital.

Ca: I know, well, he just got too many pills in his system.

Fr: Can't they just pump that out?

Ca: Well, yeah, but think about what that's gonna do to his system. You know, like his sugar. He just took too many pills.

Fr: [grunts]

Ca: That shit would fuck you up.

No one can say my liquor store isn't classy. My old one in Addison was borderline. I always knew it was because A) they had way more wine than liquor and B) the associates would approach me and assist me with wine, a shocking occurrence in any retail outfit.

And would it have been wrong for me to point out that once you get to the point of needing to have your stomach pumped that it is probably a necessary evil, side effects be damned? It sounded like a repeat occurrence, I let it be. I was just surprised to get "fuck" and "shit" in my face while signing the receipt; I certainly don't mind, it's just a change from the usual when people always take me for some type of sweet, quiet Christian girl who would mind.

I think I just realized I have some very overdue library books. Uh oh.

And with a little extra time on my hands this evening I think I'll watch [the new] Premonition, which arrived yesterday. Bite me, I have a weak spot. So cute. Don't worry, I'm prepared for it to suck.

Time to go wrap up Potter #6, about five minutes away from being done (I got off work unexpectedly early...gosh, that sounds like a coy way of saying I got fired). I'm curious to see how they do the Inferi for the sixth movie...should be very cool.


Monday, July 16, 2007

And here we have...the street where she broke up with me.

Alex and I took these Friday afternoon...

You are standing on Fry Street. Oak is to your left, Hickory to your right. That hole in the ground was the front of The Tomato.

SO WEIRD to be able to see the Language Building and the Art Building from back here...

cue the pathetic fallacy

At least someone salvaged a piece (as seen while driving down Hickory).

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Oh, for goodness sakes, get down off that crucifix. Someone needs the wood.

And you know, I could be batshit crazy, but am I the only one who doesn't think Harry's going to bite the dust this Saturday? All that prophecy shite about "only one can survive" blah blah...so really, doesn't it seem he would live? I get it would be so Jesus-esque for him to die. I also think it's too obvious. (Maybe?)

If you ask me, my money's on Ron and Snape.

At the store, can you buy a new frying pan? I'm a little squeamish about using the one we use to kill people.

How depressing--this cashier who works for D had her car stolen last week and it had her airplane and cruise tickets inside. The trip was this week. When I questioned whether or not they could be reissued, he said she was just going to stay at home for the week, maybe use them later, but get her car issues resolved first.

Well, they found the car a few days ago. It was involved in a high speed chase and was impounded. The impound charges $250 a day, so she had to go pick it up RIGHT THEN (meaning D had to work several hours late as the store had no closing cashier). Turns out she had to pay $750 to get it out. Why? Let's see...

So the person who stole it was an ice dealer. (I think that is the new "coke dealer" slang). The high speed chase ended when he drove through a barbed wire fence, then trees and finally, a river. The tow truck driver had to dive into the river and go underwater to hook the car up and pull it out. She gets to pay those charges.

Better still, this creature was apparently living in her car for a few days and even spilled milk in it. She has put newspapers down over everything, drives with latex gloves, says it doesn't even feel like her car anymore (and it wouldn't start at first at the impound). One need hardly mention, it smells.

So her car has been utterly molested beyond belief, one might even say irreparably raped. She's out $750 and she gets to continue driving it. The guy is being charged with about seven different felonies and I don't think she's going to be seeing a single penny here.

Lock your cars, boys and girls.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Lenny, why don't you go and see if you can visit the cockpit. Tell them it's your birthday.

God my job is lame. Some days it bothers me more/less than others. A position has opened up I can technically apply for within my own department. I just don't know if it's really all that less stupid than what I do now. Luckily, my philosophies of "Change is (usually) good" and "Whatever makes the day different" (again, preferably GOOD things or even NOT BAD things, if you don't mind) are working for me here and will make me apply.

But hey, that's more than enough about my crap job. You know, I always thought The White Stripes was a band to make fun of. I'm not even sure I'd heard all that much of their music, but I heard the new single, Icky Thump, on All Songs Considered (it's from a May episode, I'm behind) and damn if that wasn't cool. A very good car song.

Especially when you have a stupid job. It makes me happy when I drive. I understand one out of every five sentences. Good times.

And speaking of All Songs, the latest episode features the new Spoon album. I have a soft spot for Spoon since I spent some time in Austin and also used to listen repeatedly to Kill the Moonlight in the darkroom. That and Nickel Creek's debut album (on which I have the original album cover, not that fuckin' bland-ass religious-tinged looking re-release) will forever remind me of printing my B&W photography. And they are both rockin' good albums. (Ok, that may be the first time anyone called a Nickel Creek album "rockin'" but it's damn good for sure).

But you know what? The newest Spoon single they played? I didn't really dig it. It may grow on me. I think they're going to be in DFW in November, but I'm so used to Austin shows (by which I mean paying $10 to see a band) that it would be a little weird to see them in a Dallas venue. Meh.

Also, moving on to movies, Black Snake Moan was pretty decent. Not sure I need to see it again but it was MILES AND MILES better than that turd of a Craig Brewer film Hustle & Flow. God that was painful. This was, on its own, nicely different from most films. Everyone in it was good (duh) and I enjoyed it. Damn, even Justin Timberlake was good and I didn't realize that was him til afterward. Hey, I'm not a hip lady and if you haven't figured that out yet then I just can't help you. But if you ask me, any boy band member who goes on SNL and sings Dick in a Box is OK in my book.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Dear Josh, we came by to fuck you, but you were not home. Therefore... you are gay. Signed, Tiffany and Amber.

WOO HOO! NaD is back! I'm in Denton at the moment so I can't download it to my ipod. It can keep me company on my way to work tomorrow, which is more appopriate anyhow.

But since I'm in Denton, I can finally post my Tomato pics. I did set up a Flickr account at Triana's encouragement but I'm trying to figure a few things out first, like how to put them in the order I want people to see them. Right now it's doing it backwards and pissing me off. I think being on my own computer may help as well.

You figure there's a reason.

This jukebox was trapped in 1991.

Upstairs or down? One was non-smoking and I never could figure out which. Who the hell wants to sit downstairs anyway?

The grain befits the setting...

This never was a clean establishment.

Trash would sit there for hours.

This table was a bit much, even for the Tomato...

Yes, those are cigarette burns.

Don't they, though...

But jesus this place had killer pizza. And REALLY cheap beer. And clearly, a terrific atmosphere for a college student. (The filth was somehow twenty times more striking when I was there taking these pictures, not that I didn't notice it when I was eighteen, though).

And as I've mentioned before, it was being shut down so that Barnes & Noble/Walgreens/Starbucks can go in. Everything cool about Fry Street is almost gone, but this I think place held the most nostalgia for us. People torched the Tomato before it could be demolished and now it has been brought down by the wrecker. It is at this moment a rubble pile. (And unless the thunderstorms prevent me I'll try to swing by to take a picture of said rubble pile to depress the living hell out of the ex-Dentonites).


Alex has sent me three more. In my own defense, most of mine were taken during the day but regardless, these just look so much cooler. Far more artistic, as photos of The Tomato should.

View of the cool copy center across the street.

some crazy people.

And here below we have such a cool treasure, and oh my god is it depressing. It's seven minutes, but it's edited down and worth it. Great sound (NSFW or small kids)--these guys got there nearly from the very beginning. Complete with small explosions near the end. What a day and age we live in...it's like you were there. (Don't know how titillating this will be for non-Dentonites, but the uh, dialogue is hysterically bad. So funny and painful all at once...not that I would have had anything better to say).