Monday, February 25, 2008

Well I may be an outlaw, darlin', but you're the one stealing my heart.

Our plane takes off in 12 hours!

That's right, we're out of here. Be back Friday. We're off to Pigeon Forge, TN to hunker down in a cabin in the middle of nowhere with a hot tub, grill, and pool table. There is snow in the forecast for Wednesday and no matter what, I'll take pictures!

And that's because none of us got enough love in our childhood. And that's showbiz, kid.

Here were some of the eye-catchers I was mentioning last night...

Saoirse Ronan looked cute, Cate was jaw-droppingly gorgeous (seriously, this photo does not do it justice) and even though I am hardly a Kelly Preston fan, I found the color mesmerizing...

Helen's gorgeous, as always...(nothing can top last year's but this was close).

If someone had said, "fish scales" I would have said "No fucking way," but look, she totally pulls it off.

Ellen Page looked better than I expected but she typically frumps it up and it would be nice to see her wear an actual color. This was the unfortunate Swinton dress Triana mentioned. And Nicole, who seemed to be MIA for most of the show, was beautiful as always (except that one time in the pink number I was never a fan of).

And here is that Ridiculous Purse, the mesh thing holding nothing. Gotta love it. And we never could figure out why Amy Adams had to sing all by herself, it was weird.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

What's the Czech for "Do you love him?"

How you know it's a good category:

The husband says:

A) You're scaring the cats!!
B) Shhh!!!!!
C) The neighbors are going to call the cops!!
D) All of the Above

And he says them all when Once wins Best Original Song.

It's just TOO FUCKING BAD Marketa Irglova doesn't get to thank ANYONE since they TURNED THE MIKE OFF. Kiss my FUCKING ASS. They did try to turn it back on but it was too late...

Editor's Note: They brought her back on AFTER the commercials so she could do her thank you!!! I am soooooooooooo impressed!!!

A friend of mine took a fighting muffin in the chest; they sent him home in four Ziploc bags.



Just an ordinary woman.

I'm 8/10 so far, and one of the ones I missed I'm the most delighted about.

YAHOO!!!!!! Go Tilda Swinton, FUCK YEAH!!!!

Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second.

Marion Cotillard: very foxy indeed. "White fish dress" could have been such a cock-up, but I think she pulled it off.

Amy Adams wins for Most Ridiculous Purse ever (TINY TINY gold mesh thing she reluctantly admitted did not contain a single thing). But she's very cute and always looks to be on the edge of neurotic, so I quite like her. We also watched the video for Happy Working Song, which makes me sad I have not yet seen Enchanted.

And Viggo, Viggo, Viggo. I will be the first to admit you need the beard. I have a thing for beards and you really pull it off. But my god, man, some maintenance would be...well, a good idea.

I believe that's your designer imposter perfume.

Oh, Laura Linney. Just because you are underrated, doesn't mean you need to dress that way. Color, honey, color.

And seriously, either George Clooney has been working the red carpet for two hours or they just have stock footage of him they keep cutting to for B roll. Nothing for cutaways? Clooney time.

I had no idea what Miley Cyrus looked like prior to tonight, but those are some bitchin' earrings. Best laugh-out-loud moment was her having to describe why she was grounded a few months ago:

(sounding as if she's had to repeat this multiple times): "I was wearing a shirt that was too short and mom asked me to change and I didn't right away, and that was disrespectful."

And Helen Mirren always looks so fucking foxy, I wish I could accompany this with actual photos...

He does dress better than I do, what would I bring to the relationship?

I'm really liking Saoirse Ronan, very cute.

Okay, John Travolta's hair looks like it was drawn on with a magic marker. But his crazy wife Kelly Preston is wearing the prettiest orangey-yellow colored dress, so I'll let it go.

I'm delighted to see Daniel Day-Lewis wearing a fairly large pair of earrings, yes, plural. I just have to spend all night deciding if it works...

Used to work at Vogue. Lives in America now. Only gets out with very glamorous people. Quite out of your league.

Red carpet time!

Jesus these fucks with the microphones are annoying. D asked, "Why don't they let charismatic people do the interviewing?" And I had to point out that the charismatic people were probably the ones on the red carpet.

And frankly, I hope they get a new red carpet soon, it's looking way magenta.

Also, the next person who refers to Juno as "the little movie that could," gets a pair of donkey balls in their mouth. That was the overused cliche from last year's Little Miss Sunshine, when it was just as fucking stupid.

It's probably just a food baby. Did you have a big lunch?

I seem to be doing this backwards, having discussed Best Picture already, but oh well. I hadn't seen all the Best Actor films, sue me. Finally polished off the final entry, Sweeney Todd (how embarrassing it took me this long). I'm really not a big Daniel Day-Lewis fan to be honest, but considering that role made the movie, it's impossible to see the statue going anywhere else. Personally, in order for Best Actor, I'd say:

Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood
Viggo Mortensen, Eastern Promises
Tommy Lee Jones, In the Valley of Elah
George Clooney, Michael Clayton
Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd

They're all awesome, which is the only way I can explain Johnny Depp being last on any list. I serious have a hard time deciding who I'd give it to. Plus you could argue both Tommy Lee Jones and George Clooney weren't really stretching themselves the way some of the other performances did (I found Sweeney Todd disappointing, but that doesn't mean Depp didn't do an awesome job, he apparently wasn't even sure if he could sing!). Clooney did venture a little outside his box, but I find it surprising that he would be considered a sure thing if it weren't for DDL.

They'll give it to...Daniel Day-Lewis

I'd give it to...shit. I want to give it to Mortensen but even I must collapse under the pressure. Daniel Day-Lewis.

Here's where I failed. I just did not get out to see The Savages. I know, it looked so upbeat, too. So I'm going to assume (based on her past performances), Linney's level of awesomeness. I mean shit, it's basically what the Academy does, right? We know you didn't get it last year, and since there's nothing Major We Need To Say this year, here you go. Anyhoo, my personal choices in order, for Best Actress:

Marion Cotillard, La Vie en Rose
Laura Linney, The Savages
Julie Christie, Away From Her
Ellen Page, Juno
Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth

I love me some Cate, but been there, done that, you know? Twenty bucks says the clip they show is the scene where she gets Very Angry and Yells because GOD, it's DRAMA! And Julie Christie is awesome, it was an amazing performance, but jesus, it's just so...heavy. And OSCARY. I found Marion Cotillard's performance unique, remarkable and refreshing. Hands down, my choice. I think Ellen Page is typically considered 3rd in the line-up, and there are even rumors that if all the Cotillard/Christie voting cancels each other out she might snake it. Worse things could happen.

They'll give it to...Julie Christie (though it doesn't seem the sure thing I thought it was).

I'd give it to...Marion Cotillard.

Best Actor In a Supporting Role, in my order of preference...

Javier Bardem, No Country For Old Men
Tom Wilkinson, Michael Clayton
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Charlie Wilson's War
Casey Affleck, The Assassination of...
Hal Holbrook, Into the Wild

This one's also hard, since I have not seen the last two (JJ is still in the other room and by god, we're watching it this afternoon); I've heard really great things about Holbrook's performance and hate to put him last. Could also argue Hoffman's performance isn't anything really new for him, but he brought so much to that role, I really enjoyed it. So bite me. And really, I'd be shocked if anyone stole this from Javier. Unless his haircut could have been nominated, too.

They'll give it to...Javier Bardem. And so would I!

Best Actress in a Supporting Role, my choices in order, though I've only seen 4...

Cate Blanchett, I'm Not There
Saoirse Ronan, Atonement
Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone
Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton
Ruby Dee, American Gangster

I wasn't big on Atonement, but the kid did do a pretty great job. And everyone has been going nuts over Amy Ryan's performance but that always confused me...I mean yes, great job, but I was really more impressed by Casey Affleck's performance in that film. Tilda Swinton is awesome and her getting nominated for this of all things (considering past work) is like Dame Dench and her 8-minute Oscar role. Ruby Dee? Great lady but again, for this?? And I'm Not There, though I'm sure it was here at some point, I seem to have missed. Seems like a Blanchett type of role, though, very much in The Aviator vein of channeling eerie performance chi.

They'll give it to...I have no idea. Either Ruby Dee or Cate Blanchett. Shit, maybe Amy Ryan. See, I don't know. I'll have to decide before betting time, though.

I'd give it to...Tilda Swinton. Because I can play that game, too!

If I get a chance later I'll look at the more important awards (screenplays, cinematography). But the actor awards are such fun piffle...

Of course he had a gun. This is Texas! Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun!

All right! Soul-guttingly depressing movie of the year goes to In the Valley of Elah!

Please don't tell anyone I called Charlize "Ashley Judd" for the first half of the movie, it just happened.

No spoilers...

What a really great movie. I would put it in the top 5 Best Picture noms, if you ask me. What a shame it hasn't been getting more recognition. What especially ticks me off is during Oscar rantings/previews, they keep showing Tommy Lee Jones clips from No Country knowing full well he's nominated for this film. Wtf?

It's not heavy handed, however unsubtle the ending is--I wasn't so much surprised by what Tommy Lee Jones did (in the end) as I was by the thought of whether or not someone could get away with it. Even in his circumstances, living in the uber-patriotic-crazed type of country we do, I would like to see anyone get away with that. I honestly didn't find it too preachy or We're Here to Deliver You a Message, and it was certainly better than Crash (same writer/director).

It was a very effective film, very scary and depressing and neither of us made it out with a dry face. I think it especially bothered D!

So hey, run right out and watch it!

Friday, February 22, 2008

These are my friends. See how they glisten.



Was So


Oh well.

But damn did it look great. And everyone in it did a great job. But it just did nothing for me. Dare I say it...I found it a little...dull. (No pun intended).

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Does the hot weather make you behave badly? Good heavens, you're blushing.

I'm taking a brief film break to advocate snackies and voting...

Woo hoo! Hillary Clinton can count at least one more vote for her camp. We tried to vote last night but it was the wrong location. Hey, leave us alone--we're not used to early primary voting here in Texas.

Not to be a total dork, but I am pretty excited that my vote is actually mattering for once. Kind of. In my head, anyway. I have yet to vote for a winner (DID I MENTION IT'S TEXAS??) since I typically only know the regular election and was never old enough to vote for Bill Clinton. D is voting tomorrow since his schedule was not happy today.

And yeah, I guess we're a little dorky. A few weeks ago D was expressing just how much he loved M&Ms (he was eating ones with almonds) and that they'd have to be in his top 5 candies ever. I wasn't sure what mine were, but I thought maybe Heath/Skor would be in there for sure. And I said you know, I doubt I could tell the difference between the two--but I know there is a difference.

Apparently, I can't. We each stopped at the store the next day and got five traditional less-common candies for the other to sample blind-folded. I cannot tell the difference between Skor and Heath (though go D, he sure can). We both realized we'd never had Goobers before, though they've been around forever (jesus, the name may have something to do with that). 100 Grand, Butterfinger, Butter Mints, Mr. Goodbar, Caramello, were some of those to make appearances.

And we jokingly said we should do the same for the barrage of popcorn flavors...well, they had a 4 for $5 for sale today, so guess what we're sampling! All Orville Redenbacher:


It is what it is. It is not bad at all. Tasty. (But DO note the "designing web sites" book BEHIND the bag of popcorn, a clever shot of PROCRASTINATION, if you will).

Ultimate Butter:

Eat this shit as fast as you can. It is a big bag of chemicals. The BRIGHT YELLOW is your first clue. Like at the theatre when we used to do 2 squirts of oil on the batch cooking (typically after the rush so we'd get to eat it rather than the patrons, like any good customer service minions would do). As it gets colder, it becomes rapidly more apparent how disgusting it is.

Old-Fashioned Butter:

After the previous two, it might take you aback to take it down a notch, but this is the superior choice so far. Minimal, but more punch.

Movie Theatre Popcorn:

Honestly? The clear winner. Even though working against it was the fact that it's what we always get, it really does have that feeling of eighteen focus groups having narrowed down what makes popcorn yummy. Who'da thunk a focus group could help anything?

Sweet & Salty:

Lots of objections from the dad and the husband on the next two, sweeter types. But real tasty shit, if you ask me. It's unusual but incredibly yum--a very welcome change from the norm.

Kettle Korn:

Not bad, tasty. Nothing like Jazz Fest kettle corn, but fun in any case. I'll eat it up even if the husband won't get near it. And may I recommend plain M&Ms to go with all of these? Way the hell tasty.

Sodas may indeed be next...

Who says we don't have enough shit to keep us busy?

I drink your milkshake! I drink it up!

Squee, dude. Fingers crossed:

Anyhoo, on to this weekend: OSCARS! I don't know why I get excited to watch them, they're so office politic-y and they always let me down. Yet I always watch, without fail. At least I have--TA DA!!--seen all the Best Picture nominees this year, and nearly all the actor categories.

Wrapped up by watching both Atonement and There Will Be Blood last night. Atonement was better than I expected, though still quite saccharine (I was ready to beat Keira's ass if the words, "Come back to me," came out of her mouth one more time) and I still don't think much of Joe Wright as director (I still can't utter Pride & Prejudice without throwing up in my mouth a little). D also liked it much more than he expected.

TWBB was really enjoyable as well, though there is no doubt that the movie is ALL ABOUT the character. Without Daniel Day-Lewis, I'm not sure there is much of a movie. I also don't know if that's necessarily a good thing. Some of the other performances, namely Paul Dano, were really great, but the lead role is really what it's all about.

In the end, of the five choices, my preferences in order are:

No Country For Old Men
There Will Be Blood
Michael Clayton

I know, who thought Atonement would top Michael Clayton? But it does. And Juno before Blood? Sure, it's a lighter film but I still liked what it had to say (and the way it did it) enough to push it into the #2 spot. But there is no doubt, I think, that No Country will walk away with the top prize. At least I hope that's how it plays out,as it really has all the elements that make a great film.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.

I've been listening to more movie podcasts lately and doing some catching up. A big topic of discussion has been 2008 movie releases. Some are always brought to my attention I didn't know about while others go completely missed. So here are my top 10 Most Obvious Must-Sees (for me). These are really just the blockbuster mega-watt releases; I'll delve into a presumably better, perhaps less-sought-after selection in another post.

In no particular order...

1. Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (May release)

I'm equally excited and terrified. Please, please don't let them fuck it up. I think my fears have been quelled after hearing the 50s sci-fi take they're doing...but Lucas having involvement in the story worries me--though I suppose it shouldn't. Not unless he's going to be responsible for any dialogue, mind you. If anyone hasn't read it, here's the Vanity Fair article.

2. Sex & the City: The Movie (May release)

Can I help you? Leave me alone. I fully admit I can't wait. Even D has seen enough of the series that he'll know what's going on!

3. Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (May release)

I've only seen the first one once but I really enjoyed it. I also never read the series, so I have no idea what's going to happen. I could read them, I suppose, but having done so in the past has never (or seldom, anyway) yielded good results for my opinions on the film!

4. Star Trek (Christmas release)

A vaguely questionable cast (along with a vaguely questionable decision altogether), but whatever. Time will tell. I really do have a feeling this is going to be a major cock-up, but I will not go into it expecting to hate it. At least not until I know more...

5. Quantum of Solace (November release)

I really don't mind the title, despite the shit it's been getting. Though my sister Veloute said it best: "My first thought was, 'Yeah, but what's the American title going to be?'" Regardless, I'll be there with bells on, Casino Royale was fucking awesome. For more plot details, go here.

6. Iron Man (May release)

Not too sure what to expect--it might majorly suck, as these tend to go one way or the other. Obviously I'll watch any Robert Downey, Jr. movie and it won't be a waste of my time, but that doesn't mean he hasn't let me down before...

7. The Dark Knight(July release)

Who doesn't want to see this? Incredible cast (I'll take Maggie Gyllenhaal over Katie Holmes ANY DAY!) and what appears to be a very dark take on the Joker. Loved the original, but I can't say I found Nicholson's Joker an eighth as psychotic as what's going on here.

8. Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince

I looked for a trailer but they were so bad I couldn't tell if they were fanmade or real. Sadly, I think the main one is indeed real, despite looking like it was chopped together from previous films. The fourth film is still the standout, though the movies have yet to deliver even a fraction of the enjoyment I get from the books. But curiosity has always had me at the theatre on opening day.

9. Zach & Miri Make a Porno (2008 release)

This is supposed to come out this year but I also think they're still working on it, so no release date as of yet. It's the newest Kevin Smith film, about two platonic friends who decide to make an adult film to end their financial woes. I don't think it's going for mystery.

10. Wall.E (June release)

I really like the idea of minimal dialogue, Pixar getting back to its roots, blah blah. Count me in.

Jesus. May is going to be a busy month.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

It has not been a good night for Clifford.

So there's this really bad movie--like, really bad--that I have not seen in years but have secretly been wanting to watch again.

Not only has it never been on DVD but it's OOP on VHS. There are 2 on ebay, one for $9.99 and the other for $0.99. Clearly, I bid on the second, but not til after I realized someone else had already bid on it. I'm up to $5 and this person already has higher bids knocking me out.

How much am I willing to go on the record as having bid for Modern Girls? It's so terrible but maybe it's the nostalgia recalling an odd charm it has. Maybe I just want to see Daphne Zuniga hanging up on customers or Virginia Madsen wasted in a water fountain (the fuck was her problem, anyway? Just monumentally drunk?). Really great clothes, needless to say, it's from 1986.

There's an hour twenty-three left in the auction. We'll see.

Jesus. Someone out there is actually bidding on this fucking movie besides me.

Editor's Note: It's MINE!!!

Yesterday was empathy. Today, you're wasting my motherfucking time.

With tons of thunderstorms yesterday, I left work early and found myself with multiple Netfux to plow through. First, I popped in The Jane Austen Book Club. Admitting it was in the house may be enough of an embarrassment, but I didn't know much about it. I really like Emily Blunt and Maria Bello, after all.

Wow. What a turd. I'm actually surprised I wasn't more offended by it's All Wrapped Up in a Big Fat Bow ending. Not to mention the endorsement of "all this ferocious pairing off," as they say in Last Days of Disco. It's the worst kind of chick---well, no, wait. Mainstream Fool's Gold schlock is probably the worst kind of chick flick, but this is type is a very close second. Worse still, it wasn't even a guilty pleasure--it was only vaguely entertaining. I can only chalk up my having finished it to my inability to get the cat off my lap. I wish I could bitchslap movies sometimes.

Then I watched Do the Right Thing, which has always been in the back of my mind to re-watch. I saw it in film school and really didn't care for it. Shortly afterwards, I was forced to put it in my Raising Arizona bag of Why the Fuck Does Everyone Worship This Movie and What Am I NOT Getting? So I thought I would re-visit it another time. Joe mentioned he would be looking at it on Cinemaslave, so I figured now was as good a time as any.

This time, at least, I can really appreciate the style and color--it is very well done. The colors alone almost make it worth watching--plus I really did enjoy the RED WALL--and he did a great job conveying heat. Again, the style is really incredible. I also listened to the commentary this time, which was decent.

Storywise, I don't think you have to be able to relate to this film to appreciate it, but I'm sure if you could relate it would certainly just add another layer for the viewer. Having lived in the minority in Tokyo, I still don't think that qualifies me as being able to relate to the deeply-rooted racial tensions of Brooklyn (although it did teach me wonderful other things, but that's another blog).

I'm sure this film was a real eye-opener for some, but I just wasn't part of that crowd (which I guess is a good thing). I was shocked, listening to the commentary, at Spike Lee saying how many critics bashed the movie for being unrealistic in that it portrays a black neighborhood but "leaves out the drugs." WTF??? As if there is no such thing as a black neighborhood without drugs. I'm embarrassed not just that someone would think that, but far worse, that they would print it in their review as if it were not a viewpoint to be ashamed of. 1988, how charming.

On a personal level, I certainly don't hate it, but it's not my cup of tea. No reason, really, just that some Spike Lee movies tend to leave me cold. I didn't even like his "first" film, She's Gotta Have It. I used to have a rule that every other Spike Lee movie was really good, offset by the sucking of the one after it. But then Inside Man kind of sucked and that rule stopped working. And then I sort of realized 25th Hour was the only Spike Lee movie I like. And back in my Angelika days I was forced to watch She Hate Me, which almost made me stop watching any of his movies ever, it was that bad.

After all that, I then just wanted to watch one of my favorite stylish movies, so I popped in Heat. It wasn't the whitest move (ooh, Miami Vice time!) but I was aware it was pretty close. I just really love that movie, never get tired of it. It's one of the few movies that, while I'm watching it, it occurs to me that somehow 42" just doesn't seem big enough. A friend of a friend owns a print and by god, one day I'm going to make a screening happen.

The first time I saw Heat was on a date when I was 16 and the movie was so much more memorable than the date. It was the first time I ever asked a guy out (at least I chose an awesome movie). This guy must have been very good looking because I recall in AP English he used to say that no one actually liked Shakespeare, but everyone felt they were just supposed to like Shakespeare and no one questioned why we still read it. Interesting viewpoint...completely moronic, but hey, way to Question Authority, dude. At least I can recall thinking it was idiotic even at the time. So again, he must have been very good looking.

My point is that I'm so glad we saw Heat because otherwise that night would have been such a waste. History would repeat itself years later at university with an Actor who smoked entirely too much weed (though you would have never guessed) when we went to see Boogie Nights...

(Luckily, the first movie D and I saw together was Cannibal Holocaust, so the formula was reversed and we got married.)

Friday, February 15, 2008

I'm very sorry, Gaston... but... but I just don't deserve you!

I have actually exercised for two days now. Not in a row (shah), but there was only one day in between. Which I think might actually be a wiser move for someone as embarrassingly out of shape as myself. On a recommendation, I've been using Crunch: Burn & Firm Pilates.

As instructors go, Ellen is very decent. She reminds me of Donna on Twin Peaks, but if Donna did coke. At least she's not CHIRPY or artificial. I don't hate her. But she is crazy. I mean, this is 52 minutes long and she's talking throughout the whole thing. I'm sure it's like walking up a single flight of stairs for her, but it's sort of kicking my ass. Infact, I'm doing it in thirds. It's beating my ass and stealing my lunch money. But I think that's supposed to be a good thing. And the cat watches. He's always very intrigued by what the fuck I'm doing. He just looks vaguely appalled.

On a completely separate note, I had no idea, but Alex clued me in to the death of John Alvin, an artist responsible for so many movie posters. I never realized how many iconic posters this man had done! They're all really amazing, most of my favorites have been burned into my brain since childhood with their very memorable images.

Ok, so I don't really recall that Goonies one, but it's still cool. He also did ET, Alien, The Princess Bride, the anniversary Star Wars posters (which I still have) and most recently, I believe, the poster for the new Rambo movie.

Considering the movie, it's a pretty classy poster. (And D saw it yesterday, though he quite enjoyed it. He said it was very graphic and violent, something its red-band trailer certainly promised. And really, I have to salute it for at least being true to the action genre, unlike some other action franchises *cough*DieHard*cough* selling out to the PG-13 pull).

But I digress. I just had no idea one person had done all those, so it's sad to read of his death earlier this month.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.

So last night D and I ate at our little Mexican place near home, El Arroyo. The outdoor patio is enclosed in the winter with (mild) heating, so I got the last table out there. Unfortunately, they had "live music" (which was this 23-year-old who hadn't washed his hair in a little too long) and we were next to the speaker. Even worse, it was like being trapped in Edge Hell. (The Edge is our local suckass "rock" station that just plays Nickelback and the other eight bands that want to be Nickelback). This dude could barely sing--he fucked up a Green Day song. I mean, I like Green Day, but A) it was Time of Your Life (ugh) and B) how do you fuck up a Green Day song? I'm here to tell you, yes, it can be done!

Worse still, it's a fairly small patio and one fucking moron kept insistently whistling, a delightfully piercing sound. And there were several drunk people who kept singing out loud or madly applauding at the end of each trainwreck. The table behind us was a key example. Two middle-aged women, one of whom was not dressed age-appropriately, shall we say, and her biker boyfriend. The second woman, who was the elder, apparently was really pounding her booze. But we'll get back to that.

The waiter left us with our appetizer for over twenty minutes. I think D's exact words were, "If you finish that margarita before he checks on us, we're just flat out leaving." But the evening had a predictable (if secretly funny) finish.

The world's worst musician finally finished torturing us and people paid their bills. I was facing the table with the boozy lady, whose two friends were frantically fanning her and telling her she couldn't lie down (she didn't try, at least). This went on for quite a while, and as she stood up, D was prepared to leap out of the way, lest any projectile vomiting go astray. She kept it together, however, and we're pretty hopeful the other woman was doing the driving. The biker man stayed at the table for an additional twenty minutes or so, and finally left. I don't know what he would have said or done had the waiter started to clear the table, but again, we'll get back to that.

Well, we're finishing up ourselves and speaking now that we can actually hear each other, when the waiter comes over and starts to clear their table. He makes a loud gawp of shock and disgust as he attempts to pick up what must have been a vomit-filled napkin. Luckily, I did not laugh. Well, not til he went away to get tools with which to dispose of it.

Seriously, couldn't someone have tossed it in the loo trash? Or at least made discreet mention to watch out for the third napkin on the left? Something? As I found our waiter less than endearing I can't say I felt too badly for him, but it was still fairly atrocious. Nearly as bad as the set we'd endured.

Luckily, my bacon-wrapped jalapeno-filled shrimps were still delightful. I think of that bacon video every time I order them now...oh hell, I'll just post it here!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

What ham did you slap honey? I hope it wasn't the one I just bought.

We had actual thunder last night for the first time I can remember. Hooray! I had forgotten what it sounded like.

Today's been fairly relaxing, I got the chance to catch up on some Netfux. Started with Ju Dou, which I had never seen before.

Jesus, wasn't that cheery. But good stuff.

Followed it up with Elizabeth: The Golden Age, which I expected to be a pretty major letdown. Surprisingly, it wasn't half bad at all.

Whoops, where did that come from. *cough* Let's try that again.

Honestly, I had forgotten Clive Owen was in it. And it was very pretty (the whole movie) and entertaining. Nowhere as good as the first one, but far better than I expected. Blanchett was her usual amazing self, needless to say. (And damn if Owen doesn't look fine on a ship, but that's beside the point).

And then I tried very hard to watched Across the Universe. I really did.

I mean, obviously I got the memo that we're all supposed to loathe and detest it and berate it for bastardizing Beatles songs and being a two-hour long music video. But so much of it looked pretty, the animation looked fun...I thought, maybe it will have a good guilty pleasure thing going on.

I could only watch an hour. I just couldn't bring myself to care.

Still left to go are The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford (and worst title of the year goes to...) and Brazil (I know, I know, how long have I had that?), but I can't watch that one without D, as he's never seen it. I'm honestly not expecting to like TAOJJBTCRF, I don't seem to be a huge fan of Westerns. But we'll see....