Friday, October 31, 2008

Mrs. Brewster! My God, the phone lines have been cut.

What a fantastic holiday.

So one little kid (she was very tiny and very cute) wouldn't even come up the driveway. She was so cute. We wandered out with our big bowl of candy but they had moved on. Most of the smaller kids hang out at the porch entrance until their parents catch up. And one time, I had the fog just awesome, so the older brother came in but his sister wouldn't. The dad laughed that we'd devised a great way to deter kids and he'd have to remember the trick--I said we had a scorecard inside. It's so much fun to scare the shit out of little kids.

Infact, I can't help but recall Dooce's post about the bedtime scary story, that was hysterical. And I TOTALLY remember that story!

But anyhoo. So we deck out the porch (pics to come) and then I work the fog machine and D mans the door. Our guest room window is very low and I lie down to peek out and watch the little bastards while I work the fog machine (I made a CD from the best cuts off the Halloween soundtrack) which plays and makes a red light flicker behind our hanging ghoul (whom we lovingly call 'Tom' after Mr. Cruise). I love watching their reactions and hesitations, it's so cute. They all hang back for at least a couple beats. I still don't want any kids, but that doesn't mean I can't terrorize yours.

So we kinda monitor the street and in the meantime, throw up Fright Night or Clownhouse (Sam Rockwell's first movie, fyi!) for background entertainment.

Our favorite kid of the night is a little vampire girl who is totally frickin' cute. She has brought three different groups by at this point--I think it's because I told her she's had the best costume all night. She only had her pumpkin the first time, but we keep making her take more candy. But second place easily goes to the dead cheerleader who is, no shit, maybe 7 years old? I love it, but it's a little odd. And she just held her bag open and never tried to close it or leave at all! She got quite the haul from D.

Our cul-de-sac is quite neighborly, and we usually go mingle after we're all trick-or-treated out. I can tell when I've had enough wine to talk to other people without dread, because I start petting our fake spider-webs. And you know, I may be at that point right now, but I'm still feeling a little anti-social. Time for another glass...

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I was having fun on this job! You had all this energy, and all these crazy ideas... and you kept taking your pants off.

In keeping with the squirrel theme...

Again, let's all just assume this has nothing to do with ACORN, k? (And really, I guess this could be a pro or con poster, but it made me giggle and I like to think of it as a pro. After all, I don't know about you, but I want the animals on my side!)

So I had this nightmare last week that I messed up my vote. Where I vote, it's only electronic. But in my dream, everyone was telling me that I was also supposed to fill out a paper one at the same time, but I hadn't! So I had already voted but it wasn't going to count. I like to think of this as a variation on the whole fucking-up-a-college-exam-dream that still haunts me from time to time.

But the tension is starting to kill me. Normally I'd assume it's in the bag, but then again, I once went to bed thinking Al Gore was president, so by god, I refuse to even get too hopeful. So this weekend I'm volunteering. The nearest place for me is at the South Dallas Café, and they're basically trying to help the campaign in battleground swing states. It's mostly getting in touch with Obama supporters who've never voted (but somehow they know they're Obama supporters?) or whose polling places have changed, helping people figure out where to go. I'm not going in til 1 pm if anyone wants to come with!

Well, I'm sure as hell not flying to Ohio, but apparently they're happy if you want to!

I also noticed Zach & Miri Make a Porno is finally coming out this weekend. Fingers crossed it's one of the good Kevin Smith movies. I haven't heard much yet...

This seems to be a post all about How I Have Learned Not To Get My Hopes Up.

Anyhoo. The 2nd installment in the Twilight trilogy is finally on hold for me at the library. Gonna get my fluff on. Right now I'm alternating between Angler: The Cheney Vice Presidency by Barton Gellman and Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion. They're both very good. The first one kinda scares the shit out of me. I always knew Cheney was evil (and Jon Stewart's Cheney impression will never not be funny) but it's a scary read about the details of what he managed to pull off. I won't get into it at the moment (not quite halfway through), but so far I highly recommend it.

And The God Delusion is also an intriguing read. Dawkins is a pretty hard-core atheist, and while I'm not really on his bandwagon, I do love that he doesn't mince words and has some really great arguments--plus it's just interesting. I saw Dawkins on The Colbert Report a while back (I think, rather than TDS...certainly seems like a great Colbert guest) but had completely forgotten until Veloute loaned me the book recently. Many thanks!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Living in an amoral, pharmaceutical kind of way.

Well, I'm still totally in love with Dar Williams (who I did not realize is perhaps even one inch shorter than myself, we're both wearing pretty high heels in this pic...)

And she still gives a rocking show! She did play a ton off her new album, and though I may have pined for (unplayed) old favorites, there really is something to be said for seeing new music live. I have an appreciation for the new stuff now I didn't before. Plus, she always has these bizarre humorous intros that wrap around and sometimes barely seem to even come back to a point (but they're so charming). The subject line came from one; she was talking about growing up reading both Bible stories and Greek mythologies and being very surprised at the latter--after all, they don't really have morals and they're fucking strange.

The show wasn't quite as crowded as I would have liked for her. On the other hand, I got to meet her! (And she signed my songbook--I had her sign on Are You Out There, even though she didn't play it!)

And the guy who opened was fucking great! It was Shawn Mullins, and neither Alex nor I recognized him til the very end (though he did remind me a little of Darden Smith or James McMurtry, but definitely different), when he played his "monster smash hit" Lullaby. I always liked that song fine except the radio raped my ears with it on an hourly basis and I eventually wanted to die. Plus, I realized I'm kinda biased about artists I hear on Clear Channel Dallas radio. I guess I assume they're all wanky, soul-patch wearing (to steal from Alex) douchenuggets. This guy was so cool!

(Side note and case in point: Both he and Sara Bareilles get radio play on their respective big hits Lullaby and Love Song, and though both songs are good, they are so much better in context with the rest of the album--not to mention just being heard live. And in Mullins' case, the intros and backstories really added something. I just bought his newest album Honeydew last night and it's wicked.)

Anyhoo. I also didn't know, but he was one of the songwriters they asked to send in a demo for the theme for Scrubs. While his was not picked (I guess it's not quite the upbeat number they wanted), they did use it in the background of one show. And it's still really great, here it is:

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Joe! She's written 65 songs... 65. They're all about you. They're all about pain.

*Droooools excitedly about seeing Dar Williams tonight*

I love this song, The Christians and the Pagans. I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but I found Dar Williams while working for Austin City Limits and I was still young enough that I rarely discovered new musicians on my own that I really liked. I was so blown away by how many of her songs were political, and they're mostly my favorites (Are You Out There, The Babysitter's Here, Teen For God, The Pointless Yet Poignant Crisis of a Co-Ed). Even her songs about love are weird and witty with an infectious beat (The Blessings, Closer to Me, It Happens Every Day, Another Mystery).

I admit I'm less familiar with her more recent albums, though I do own them. Mortal City and The End of the Summer are still easily my favorite albums and I think it could easily be because I played the shit out of them the year I was in Austin. If they had been tapes they would be battered and dead.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Diane Court doesn't go out with guys like you. She's a brain.

VERY excited about Dar Williams tomorrow night. Squee! She's still not all that well-known, so videos are kinda tricky to find, but here's What Do You Hear In These Sounds, a really great song about therapy...

(I found As Cool As I Am, but it may have been the worst video of all time. Please, don't ever put WORDS into your video, especially the lyrics. It's just a little too Sesame Street or something...and I also found her newest video, It's Alright, but it looks like they spent $8 on the whole production...and even that was for--quite likely--the world's ugliest outfit that even Goodwill probably wouldn't take.) But her music's great!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

I'm enjoying your blouse this morning.

I'm home! First things first...Wednesday's concert with Sara Bareilles was fan-fucking-tastic. I had a great seat. When you have reserved seating at House of Blues, you can just text them and they'll bring you a beer! I never had to, as they went up and down the aisles often enough.

I wish she had more than one album, but this is another great song of hers (and kind of an odd video...)

Two artists opened for her, the first I loved and the second left me totally cold. Raining Jane is a group of four girls is from L.A., and my favorite one plays the cello. Hot! A different girl sometimes plays the sitar--it was amazing. You should watch this one, it's a great song and while it's mellow (and involves neither the cello nor the sitar!), they can do rock just as well. I bought a shirt from them and Sara Bareilles.

Then there was Marc Broussard, who just really didn't do anything for me, but the girl next to me was apparently there only for him. She missed the first set and left before the headliner. To each his/her own... It was like really bad white R&B.

The next morning I got up around 4:30am (jesus) and we hit the airport. Smooth sailing and Vel picked me up just in time. We found our B&B, which was about 20 minutes away from the university. It was off on its own but it was quite cute. A little small for my taste in that there were only two rooms, making it almost a little too...well, I like a tad more anonymity, you know? I like the coziness of a B&B but there is such a thing as too personal. But our host was incredibly nice and made very delicious breakfasts, both a salmon frittata and a bread pudding number that was very tasty.

The tour of the law building was great, but it was very Hogwarts. Because they've added onto the original building, there are staircases in some very random places! And it is SO EASY to get lost! But was a great building. As I mentioned in a previous post, you can live there your first year, but I'm not sure how I'd feel about that. Getting away from the building might be nice. Sunlight, you know.

The class was interesting, they were discussing whether or not damages should have been awarded for mental distress in two different cases and talked about how anyone goes about trying to establish it. There was one other girl sitting in with us, and she's related to a professor who teaches that same class there at Cornell, only apparently he's really scary (as a professor). I made a mental note about his name!

Had a mediocre pub lunch and then got very lost trying to drive away from Cornell. No reason, we just couldn't seem to get off campus! We finally did, however, and went back to the B & B for some late-afternoon wine and Will & Grace. Dinner was at the Boat Yard, one of the more popular restaurants with a view.

On the way there, we saw two deer on the side of the road (it was night, the pic above I took the next day as we passed it) and I guess I flipped out a little too much, as Vel turned to me and said, "You are so not from around here."

I was in the mood for steak but reconsidered, since I didn't think a Texas girl would get anything she was hoping for in upstate New York. I settled for a peach-chicken dish that was quite tasty.

The next day (Saturday) we drove up highway 13 til it became 89 and stretches out along Lake Cayuga. It was gorgeous--this was one view along the way...

They have a number of vineyards and wineries in the area and we hit two. The first was small; we did a tasting and moved on. The second was much larger, Americana Vineyards, and offered a sampling of all 12 of their wines, plus local fudge plus a cafe full of delicious nibbles. We spent pretty much the rest of the afternoon there. I buckled (you would have, too) and bought three bottles of wine (it was so reasonable--I spent $35 on all three bottles) and just prayed they survived the airline's batterings. (They did!)

Americana Vineyards...

And more fudge than you'd ever know what to do with...

We ate at their cafe, selecting two appetizers to go with the Apparition wine, which was the clear favorite for both of us.

I brought one bottle of it home, along with a Rosie (which I don't normally like) that makes their fudge even more succulent. The third is a Cayuga White, made with grapes from Cornell. I'm saving that one for LSAT day. (Uh, after the LSATs.) And the food was nearly as good as the wine...

We had to stay somewhere else last night, as the B&B (and every other B&B in town) was fully booked for Saturday night due to it being Family Weekend at Cornell. We stayed at an incredibly dodgy-looking hotel that I had booked online. As we pulled up, Veloute said, "Great. This is going to be like one of those weird motels they stay at in Supernatural."

And then we thought, cool. Sadly, it did not have one-eighth as much personality.

Really, other than the tub (shudder) it wasn't that bad. I think we had a larger suite; it had 2 windows that actually opened and you could get onto the roof from one of them (once you pried the screen off). Someone may or may not have had too much wine and gone out exploring.

(Do not demonstrate "jazz hands" while holding your hair clip, as you might accidentally fling it across the roof. Just fyi.) And don't worry, I'm laughing, not puking.

For the record, apparently I also do a great demonstration of "opera hands," meaning we're looking at the pics later and Vel says, "Yeah, I don't know what's up with your 'opera hands!'" Me, neither.

A little fudge, some more Will & Grace and some sucktacular Chinese takeout later, it was bedtime! And we got up at a reasonable hour this time (more like 7am instead of 4am) for my flight and her drive home.

And completely unrelated, there was the coolest diner we had to pass every time we went to and from our B&B and hotel, and yet when do we finally get a picture? On the way to the airport, and I barely wrestled my camera out in time. I give you Manos Diner!

It's an MST3K joke and we so wanted to at least get coffee here. Next time.

Damn. Back to studying and trying to write even a passably decent personal statement that doesn't make me yak my lunch all over myself.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Too late for salvation, my friend.

I think this is an actual residence. (On campus, I mean. I'm not just standing in someone's yard.) Like, people live here. It is GORGEOUS. Like, messed up gorgeous.

We had lunch at a pub the other day, and this is Vel trying to figure out the intricacies of a, you know, parking meter. Don't pay any attention to the boatloads of trash behind us...

And that bell tower? Here it is.

I have been looking at the cost of living in Hughes Hall (which you can only do the first year) and living in other parts of Ithaca (omfg, how GODDAMN expensive is THAT) and all I know is that I need to start studying one whole fuck of a lot and eating rice and beans and...well, doing a shitload of praying. Good times.

Oh honey, I've got a fake laugh with your name written all over it.

Wow. Holy fucking wow.

Um. So, Cornell is GORGEOUS, like who didn't see that coming? The contracts class was WAY more interesting than I thought it would wasn't the dry dreariness I expected. They discussed cases and it was easy to follow along! Granted, it was a 1L class and it's early in the semester but woo!

How many movies has this been in? It's not our building, but whatev.

Whee! The only time I will probably be on this campus...

This is me under our bell tower, which apparently you can see from ALL OF ITHACA. As our tour guide said, you just can't escape it no matter where you go. (I will post more pics of my--ha ha, why do I keep saying that?--building later, dinner is afoot.)

Oh, and did I mention...

I mean damn. I'll post more about it later, but the campus is GAW-GEOUS and my (snicker) building, above all the others, looks so fucking serious. Like, out of my league serious.

But in the meantime...

I can still party in their city! Woot!

Note: I may look like ass in this picture, but far more crucial is the fact that I appear taller than Vel.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.

I'm sneaking out of work early to head over to the House of Blues in Dallas to see Sara Bareilles tonight. I didn't plan it this way, but it will be the perfect end to my day before I head out to the airport tomorrow morning at some 5-in-the-AM-ungodly-hour. Watch the video, she's rad.

I'm going to the concert by myself, but I've done that plenty of other times. I'm ready for my day to be over so I can be there already!

Also, I think the temperature is supposed to drop after 12, so I can get a head start on my yummy winter clothes...hee hee.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Good idea. They say the strangers always have the best candy.

Hooray, D voted this morning, how exciting. He had a 40 minute wait as well, but woo hoo! Jesus, can you imagine what Election Day will be like?

I had the most fabulous evening. I went by myself to our little regular sushi place near the house, but there is a new manager! She and I bonded and I left 2 hours later.

Her name is Jin, she is Korean and has lived here for one year; she is married with two sons. We amused ourselves by speaking bad Japanese at each other (she lived there briefly), but she and I agree wholeheartedly on the important things in life--for example, the creativity of Hayao Miyazaki--how he has the most amazing imagination but still manages to say something important about the environment and always seems to have girls save the world. Also, we both just want very badly to be in Austin. She joked about how different her time in Austin was from DFW and it almost made her uncomfortable how friendly and homey everyone was (but she liked it). She said back home everyone told her she was a hippie.

VERY crucial was our agreement about how American TV is shit for children (except for PBS of course) and she does not have cable; I said I have always told my husband if we ever have children, there will be no cable in the house. She said yes, it's like it takes the brain out of your head and puts garbage in instead. I told her how my nieces are well acquainted with Miyazaki's films (and yes, that Totoro song is REAL catchy to all youngsters...and uh, well, everyone) and yet have no idea who Hannah Montana is. At least, I hope this is still the case.

About an hour in, she offered to reheat my udon...another half hour later, I took her up on the offer. I didn't care; the udon is always good but the conversation is rarely so nice! And she looks so young for two young sons--I told her she looked to be about 27 and she said, "I love you, Ellen!" She was just the neatest; she hugged me at the end of the night and walked me out. I told her I'm going to New York this weekend but I would send my husband out for sushi while I'm gone and that we'd be back next week. She's only been there two weeks, which is how I have not met her before, plus my udon/tempura expeditions seem to increase exponentially with the coming of winter.

You know, I'm so glad I abandoned Cheers and packing for a little udon this evening...

Honey, I could suck the alcohol out of a stick of you're askin' the wrong gal.

Have I mentioned how much I love Karen?

D also got my Streets of Fire poster matted and framed...and holy fucking balls, it may be the most gorgeous thing in the house. He picked out a nice trim yellow for the first matte, to match the titles, surrounded by a wide white matte with a very thin black inner edge and completed by a sexy black frame. It is gaw-geous. It's going in the kitchen/den entry, so everyone can see it.

Also, D is (clearly) back from Omaha. It was a great trip and he really enjoyed it. I also really enjoyed my first trip to Love Field (that's the bumpkin Dallas airport) in more than 10 years, woot. (HA HA.) Got to Dallas so horrendously early I stopped off at the Lounge (the Inwood's bar, who'da thunk I would be there again, but it's five minutes away...) and watched the first half of the debate. That place never used to have a TV. It's fitting (in its rapidly descending plummet to yuppie crapdom, anyway) that it now has a huge flatscreen TV...though in fairness, it served me well that night. After all, before being distracted, I was trying to study my strategy games for the LSAT. Yuck.

And speaking of law school, it has started. I got a completely random, unsolicited email from Tulsa Law (ok, seriously?) which kinda freaks me out. It just goes to show how they're watching you. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

Well, it's off to the library this morning before work...I'm going to pick up a David Sedaris book I've never read to make the flight tolerable. I also need to pack's going to be weird to be able to wear my winter clothes...wicked!

[Editor's Note: Holy BALLS, I just went online to glimpse their weather and they are supposed to have AM SNOW SHOWERS tomorrow! SNOW IN OCTOBER?? Weirdness.]

Monday, October 20, 2008

J'ai une âme solitaire.


I know it's Texas (remind me to take a picture of the Jesus car down the street, it's unreal) but I still have to vote! There was actually a considerable line this morning, which I hope was a good thing. It wasn't long enough to make me late to work, but I think that's the first time I've had to wait in line to vote!

Very excited for my upcoming break, should be nice. Not sure how much I'm looking forward to a contracts class, but whatev. Also still playing with my LSAT games, good times.

Nursing the new salted caramel hot chocolate, which Alex recommended and I am just now geting around to trying. I thought it sounded a little nasty, but it's quite tasty. It was certainly chilly enough this morning to merit one!

What? Who finished season 3 of Will and Grace? Not me, I've been too busy studying and...oh, who am I kidding. Totally starting season 4 when I get back from New York...

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Mom, can I take you to my therapist? Because he thinks I'm making you up.

Ooh, and I keep forgetting to mention that my anniversary gift of firewood was delivered the weekend before last! So I'm curling up tonight with a nice fire in the bedroom (in the fireplace, indeed) and the first disc of 30 Rock. Long overdue...watching that series, that is. The kitties are always very into having fires, it's nice. Last night on our own!

Just because you're naked, doesn't mean you have to be cheeky!

So I mentioned my friend Jenny Sipes is in W--apparently she plays Susie Evans, a longtime friend of George Bush. So look for her when you see it! I'm totally excited to see the movie, but I heard it feels kinda rushed and ends up having a very movie-of-the-week vibe. Oh well. I'll go see it with bells on anyway, and I hate Oliver Stone normally.

Also, she apparently landed a role on The Young & the Restless and is supposed to start filming this year. That is so neat. I mean, I have never seen a single soap opera in my life, somehow, but the girls at work seem to keep up with that one. I don't know if anyone can pull off soap opera well, but I hope she does! (I'm still kinda fond of Soapdish and somehow imagine it's really not too far off the mark.)

It finally rained today and now it's just gorgeous and windy. Ahhh.

Vel and I are having fun challenges finding a B&B in Ithaca (or any type of hotel, really), as apparently it's still peepers season. Whoops. Forgot about that. I'm sure we'll be able to find something, it'll just be, uh, ungodly expensive! Whatever, it's only money.

I was going to catch up on some theater-movies while the husband was away, but you know...I just didn't. J's theater lost Nights In Rodanthe (thank god) after a mere 2 weeks, so I didn't get to see it...and really, there wasn't too much out worth seeing. There were a few curiosities, but somehow I just wound up watching an uncomfortable amount of Will & Grace instead. No, seriously. I dreamed about it last night. I think I need to lay off for a bit. It's not that I have to watch, it's was there.

Oh and PS--did anyone else see the South Park premiere, The China Probrem? Holy fucking Jesus! Um, I cannot believe they were allowed to air that! I'm not saying it was good or bad, just...pushing the envelope like no one else ever comes close to doing. The envelope of taste, made me shriek out loud in shock.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Wait, what flavor of ice cream goes with the destruction of a loveless marriage?

Rocky Road! Bum dum ching! Thank you, Will & Grace.

I definitely feel like a bitchy Miranda sometimes when I eat alone. Like, the dude asked me how many times, "So, just one?" And I'm not bothered by it, but it does get a little OTT, like they're afraid to ask but can't stop asking. And it's like when Miranda keeps ordering a buttload of Chinese take-out for one and she thinks they're always laughing at her.

It has been teetering on the edge of rain all day and yet...nothing. Le sigh.

I ordered the most deranged-looking animatronic cat for Sophia's 4th birthday. I can't believe she is going to be FOUR! The idea of getting him was originally kind of a joke to Vel, but then considering Sophia is quite into Fiona's MioPup I got her last Xmas...well, he's on his way! God he looks fucking insane. Couldn't the marketing people get a handle on what a sane cat looks like? (And all you cat haters can just refrain right now from any comments, thank you.)

First of all, My Little Pony called and they want their comb back. Secondly, like, how stoned is this cat? I just keep thinking of that scene in Parenthood when Rick Moranis' wife tells him, "Nathan, we're trying so hard to keep these kids off drugs..." (He's called a Furreal Kitty Cat, btw.)

Ok, they're playing Moon Dance and this song will just always, always, always be American Werewolf In London Sex Scene Music to me. And I think I recall Alex and myself laughing our asses off as small children because we thought it was just really ill-suited to the moment. I can kinda see it now, but it is kinda odd. Still makes me giggle a little.

I'm at Uno's, btw, mostly for cheese and free Wifi. I tap into the wifi of the hotel next door, and it always makes me put in my name for no reason whatsoever. I used to wonder if it was checking the room registry and matching stuff up, so I used to put in really common names, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't mean fuck-all, as I've lately taken to being "Jack Bauer," and it likes that just fine.

I'm bored. I'm going to go take my disco nap.

It is soooooooooo nice outside. I wish I was not here.

I also wish I didn't have to revise my personal's depressing me with its awfulness.

Ten more days til I can get the hell out of here. I wonder if Veloute will play a little game with me while we're there...

Take a drink when...

Riker swears - two drinks; three if it's 'hell'; whole beer if he
asks 'what the hell is going on'

Riker walks forward as if he's trying to knock an imaginary door
down with his forehead.

A female character has flawless makeup after she's been through the

Picard straightens his uniform

Data's innards are revealed

Data uses his strength

Data is cut off mid sentence - two drinks if it's a list of

Data gripes about his inability to perceive human emotion

Geordie's visor is taken or knocked off

Georgie gets bitched out for faulty engine, warp drive, etc.

Beverly can't figure out some bizarre medical problem

Deanna senses something really shocking

Deanna gives us Betazoid insight into something really obvious

O'Brien has a line (this gets brutal after the third season - weak
drinkers may pass)

A crew member drinks - two if it's Picard; three if it's Picard
drinking tea; four if the tea is identified as Earl

A bridge officer is shown in casual clothes (one drink per scene,
per officer) = two drinks if it's Beverly in a
sweater; two drinks if it's Picard in his chest
revealing bedwear.

A bridge officer appears in dress uniform (one drink per scene, per

Every time somebody is addressed by his or her first name - two if
there's some kind of sexual tension going on.

Every time they use transporter room three.

A shuttle craft seems like an unsafe place to be.

Somebody reads a book.

Somebody preaches the Prime Directive - two if it's NOT Picard

Somebody preaches about Humanity's Unique Potential

Picard has an accident or is attacked - two drink; three if it
draws blood

Picard is possessed - four drinks

An 'old earth saying' is brought up - two if Data has to have it
explained to him.

Patrick Stewart tries to speak French

Wesley talks back to his Mom.

Somebody implies that Ten Forward is a Happening Place

They fade for an advertisement playing the 'ominous horns'

Klingon is spoken - two drinks per scene in which Klingons are
alone and have no obvious reason to speak English
but do anyway.

Each scene in which a nifty new Romulan ship is shown

There's a token alien in the background with no lines - two if it's
a Vulcan.

Yellow Alert - one drink
Red Alert - two drinks
Intruder Alert - three drinks

Another Captain or Star Fleet Command officer is on screen.

There's a countdown

Every time a bridge command is handed over

The Enterprise crew avoids a confrontation instead of blasting

Each scene in which the Enterprise actually fights (shots must be
fired) - two drinks.

Whole beer whenever the saucer section separates.

They contact somebody on the communicator/intercom without going to
a panel or touching anything.

A communicator isn't working or is blocked - two if it's out of

New Trek contradicts a fact from Old Trek (Unfortunately, players
may be too drunk to adjudicate this rule)

Sunday, October 12, 2008

My shrink? Oh honey, I only go to him for refills.

I did not just polish off the entire first season of Will & Grace. Ok, I did, but I was painting my kitchen cabinets. That makes it sound much better. Doesn't it?

Maybe I’m just getting stupid. I mean, I’m watching Will & Grace and I actually laugh. I’m not sure if it’s funny or if I’ve just lost that many IQ points. At least I’m aware of the problem. It’s a little cute, but I don’t know if it should be making me laugh. Sadcakes. I’m watching it ALONE and I constantly feel like I should apologize for having laughed. Thank god I have a mini-break coming up in a few weeks. Because this is what I have come to.

If you think about it, it's probably more shocking that it took me this long to watch it. A series about a woman living with her gay best friend? But you know how I loathe American sitcoms. And this one is no different with its predictability and its creepy laugh track...yet the two leads really pull it off...actually, no, her assistant kinda steals the show sometimes...Ok, that's way more than enough of that. Let's all forget I'm even watching it, shall we?

Ok, now I'm really going to stop going on about my LSATs, as I took a 3rd practice test and got a 159. So let's see, shall we? That gives me a 160, a 158 and a 159. Yes, studying was such a good idea. I think it's time for a new book.

The little woman is home alone this week, as D is off with his family in Omaha, Nebraska. His brother drove up to see the game this weekend (that side of the fam are all big OU fans...hee hee) and D is enduring the 12 hour trip back today and will fly home on Wednesday. So I get to watch all the bad TV I want! Actually, today I cleaned the bathroom, started painting the kitchen and studied (which included writing my god-awful personal statement). Well, you know, after all the male strippers left and I was out of bon-bons, what else was I going to do?

And for no reason, I woke up with this song in my head...

Why don't we have little bars like that here?

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Oh my god, he's doing drugs! Without me!

Not that I follow sports, and certainly not football, but WOO HOO!! Suck it, OU! Bwahahahahah!!!

They're all going to laugh at you!

Um. Uh oh.

Let's say it together: "Worst. Poster. Ever." (Click on it to make the awfulness that much bigger.)

Go Fug Yourself said it best:It's like the people who made the film read the book and got to the approximately 403,328 pages about how flawlessly gorgeous Edward (the fussy vampire boyfriend played by Robert "Cedric Diggory" Pattison here) is and looked at each other and were like, "Let's skip that part."AND WHY? It seems to me that the crux of the attraction of a book/movie about a super hot vampire boyfriend would be THE SUPER HOTNESS. And the other thing is that CEDRIC DIGGORY IS HOT ALREADY! It's like they've DE-HOTTED HIM against ALL REASON.

She goes on.

But word. May have to skip that movie...

Friday, October 10, 2008

Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.

So remember how there was that show I was uncomfortable admitting I watch? Well, I still am, but there is this OTHER show I always assumed was insipid as shit. And somehow, someone somewhere convinced me I might like it. So I put it on my queue and somehow it finally arrived at my doorstep.

You know how the first disc of any series typically sucks because it just hasn't found its feet yet? Well, that is not really the case here, and I am already sort of endeared to Will & Grace. That's right, I fuckin' said it. It's gross, mock me, fine. But it actually has some pretty good dialogue. Like, borderline witty.

My instinct is to dislike Jack, as A) he is clearly the gay Kramer of this series and B) I just hate the whole, "I am SO the comic relief! LOOK AT ME! LOVE ME!" schtick that it grates and grates and I want to destroy whomever. I sort of hated Kramer (ok, completely), but I don't hate Jack yet. He has his moments.

And I have always thought Debra Messing was totally frickin' cute. Sue me.

So while D goes out of town on Sunday, I'll be at home watching really shameless TV.

Assuming, that is, that I finished my rough drafts of my personal statement and recommendation outline I need to do. AUDIBLE GROAN. And one more practice LSAT. I need to score at least one delusionally high score to boost my ability to lie to myself. Is that too much to ask?

And it turns out I am indeed invited to tour the Cornell campus (HAHAHAH, as if they'd want me there) and I also get to sit in on a Contracts class. Seriously? I mean, I guess it's a good idea. Like, this is what you're in for, lick it up, baby, LICK. IT. UP. And yes, I SOOOOOOOOOOOO plan on making Vel sit in on that with me.

At least I am alone in the midst of Friday-night-Gloria's crowds (good margaritas) and can use the plethora of crap around me for blog fodder or potential story dialogue. Always looking for the plus, that's me.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

I can do anything I want to, baby, I ain't lost.

Please, please remind me not to read Dooce while I'm in public on my second glass of wine. It was simply her letter of the month to Leta, but holy shit I had to die:

Recently we stopped giving you any treats whatsoever, not to punish you necessarily, but because I was tired of all the ridiculous negotiating over the number of bites of a meal you had to eat before dessert. So I took away dessert. Done. And it's been a lot easier than I thought it would be, except you're now a lot hungrier for normal food and are always wandering around going, "I want something in my mouth." It's not, "I'm hungry," or "I would like something to eat," it's "PUT SOMETHING IN MY MOUTH." It's funny only because this is not a phrase that any adult would say out loud in mixed company.

And now everyone is STARING AT ME. There are tears rolling down my cheeks (you may need both wine and the whole post, who knows), and I'm sure my awful attempts to hide my guffaws are simply lost altogether.

Monday, October 06, 2008

You should have told me you were looking for your intellectual equal...I could have introduced you to what's growing on my shower curtain.

I also got mostly caught up on my Netfux this weekend. I re-visited The Piano, which I hadn't seen in probably 15 years. Good stuff, but um, yeah, that's one to watch every 15 years. Not a total downer or anything, it actually had a fairly upbeat ending. Just a little intense. And I still remember little Anna Paquin accepting her Oscar...

Also saw Same Time, Next Year for the first time. I enjoy both Alan Alda and Ellen Burnstyn, I just don't normally seek them out. It had great dialogue, it was very obviously a play first. (I'm not posting any images because it has a really awful poster.) And while it's about two married people meeting once a year for a sexual rendezvous, I was impressed to see that that wasn't what it was really about. It's from 1978 and invariably somewhat dated, but it still survives quite well. It overcomes the occasional cheesiness with genuinely charming moments and one I could easily see again.

As for my books, I finished Twilight some time last week but keep forgetting to mention it. Omg. So I highly advise, if you are going to read it, that you do it in at least one or two sittings. I read most of it in one sitting and was quite into it, despite being well aware of the ickiness factor, and when I returned to it the next couple times I was just even more aware of the OTT teen angst saturating each page. And maybe it's just that the ending is was worse in that regard, but dude, the pages were basically sticking together at that point.

Still, good times. I think I also recommend that you should be female.

Also finally broke down and opened Nights In Rodanthe (hell, I borrowed it, might as well give it a shot) and it's really not all that bad. It's like eating vanilla wafers with flavorless cream in the middle, but it's not as gross as The Notebook. At least, not yet. I don't know what prevents me from reading it in public more: the large print or the name "Nicholas Sparks."

At least it's at J's theater so I can get my Diane Lane fix for free.

Ok, and here it is a few hours later and I have finished NIR. I didn't get to the end, mind you, but I got 15 out of 19 chapters read and you know, that's enough for me. I have seldom read such a dull book with such a straight path, flecked with barf chunks the whole way. Seriously, my cats have hacked up hairballs I found more engrossing. Now granted, I just got done reading Twilight, but they were a good pair to read together. The first I enjoyed for the guilty pleasure and the second I nearly fell asleep. Clearly, Stephanie Meyer got something right. Being female for a start, I suppose...

Save your pump and dump adventures for your blog.

Yeah, so that's from a show I'm really not comfortable admitting I watch. And you already know I like Ally McBeal, so back slowly away.

And from this show, I discovered a new musician whose album I bought and I'm really liking!

This is the song I really like (embedding was disabled). And what's cool is that she's playing at House of Blues in two weeks. I'm debating about going...I think I would just go by myself rather than drag the hubby to what is clearly more my type of music! But it's a really great album, there's some very sexy music on there.

But on to good TV shows, I finally got around to watching last season's finale for House, M.D. Thanks to idiots everywhere, I already knew which of the major characters bit the dust, but it was still a fah-king depressing episode. Jesus.

As for movies, I got to see Religulous this weekend with Alex, it was a lot of fun.

There is no doubt that it's not a film to watch for information, it's just about the humor. And yes, it's totally biased, heavily edited (though in fairness, there's plenty of humor directed at Bill Maher), and I cannot see anyone seeking this out unless they like Maher to begin with. But it was a very enjoyable two hours. I was afraid it would be mean, and while it's not, it kinda wastes time by addressing issues with people who have no real knowledge or background in religion and come on, that can be funny, but the targets are just too easy.

And it's official! I registered to take the LSAT, I paid my (fucking) $127. I guess I had better go study!

Friday, October 03, 2008

Laurie, Mr. Riddle is eighty-seven!

Lifted from Cute Overload...

And just the other day D sent me a pic on our phones of BABY BUNNIES someone had brought in. They were ITSY BITSY and hadn't opened their eyes yet. They actually belonged to someone, because I wrote him back and said, "I WANT A BUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYY!" And you know Mouche and Bourdain want a bunny, too.

Not that those are bunnies up there, but you know, it reminded me.

And I am totally peeing on myself to see Religulous, which should come out this week. There is no way in holy fuck my husband would ever watch that with me so who's going with me? (Ok, that's not true, he probably would if I really insisted, but he would be so pissed by the end and it would probably just make him unhappy. So I won't do that!)

Happy Friday! It's Abba time.

(Is she allowed to bounce on the piano bench like that on national TV?)

Thursday, October 02, 2008


This makes me want to hurt myself in ways I never thought possible.

Just when I was about to make it stop, the lyrics around 1:45 kicked in and I totally died laughing.

Now he said, "Sic'em, boy!", but what I heard was, "Chopper, sic balls!"

This is fucking hysterical. So I waited as long as I possibly could, amidst a sofa-tight crowd of very loud baseball-loving fans. And I FINALLY, quite frankly, had to pee.

So I left my computer unattended (and beer, you decide which is more dangerous), but the bathroom is RIGHT THERE and what's a single girl to do??

So I come back, and my Dixie Chicks video has TOTALLY been replaced and I have, indeed, been Rick-Rolled. I fucking died laughing (they were delighted to see) and I related how the same thing had recently happened to Wil Wheaton. (Actually, upon review, I apologize, it was Wil Wheaton who did the Rick-Rolling, my bad.)

Good times, beer is.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Your name is Gym?

I was driving behind someone with "gym" as part of their plate, and it reminded me of that line from Pretty In Pink and made me chuckle.

So I'm back at the Saucer for the evening, the one in Addison. I just like this one so much better than the one in Fort Worth. And the waitresses ignore me at both, so might as well go to the one with the huge outdoor patio. Tonight it's hopping, however, so I'm stuck inside the Love Shack, the room in the back with sofas, Donkey Kong and Ms. Pacman. I like this room, except for two things: fuckers can smoke in here and despite the giant windows in here, it's always kinda...moist. Humid might be a better description...

My waitress is a little odd. Tonight is Glass Night, where they give away custom glasses for the beer of the night. She asked if I wanted one and I said yes. So she brought me my beer, which was the beer of the night, and then five minutes later brought me another beer in the special glass. There was this awkward moment where the couple on the sofa diagonal to me got kinda quiet. Then after the moment of silence, the woman asked, "Thirsty?"

I explained that I didn't know, either.

Dammit! The Ting Tings are coming to town October 17th and I think that would be a really fun show.

(LOVE her earrings and the fishnets that show up inexplicably around the 1:34 mark.)

But hopefully I'll be out of town that weekend. I'm trying to sneak away to Ithaca, NY to check out Cornell's campus.

(The law school at night! Probably the only time I'll see it from this side.)

My only concern is that the campus just won't be pretty enough. I'm used to UNT, after all. (Btw, if you google UNT looking for images, you will be rewarded with their lame clock tower, crudely drawn eagle mascots and squirrels. Yup, that's my school, baby.)

But HA. My concern? My concern is that someone will snort into their morning coffee while reviewing my application. In a bad way, yes.

I also worry the long winters could depress me, but if I spend every waking hour in the basement of my hovel studying, does it matter?

So yeah, love me some Ting Tings (thanks, dad!) but I think I'll take Cornell over House of Blues! And I'm also hoping to somehow bribe my big sister in Vermont into joining me for the weekend in Ithaca. Way more fun with someone else. And it's all pretty and stuff. (You know, unlike Vermont...)

Btw, I have fallen off the diet wagon in a big way. I will not go into graphic detail, but I need to get my shit back in gear.

Also. Either my waitress is slipping drugs into my beer or the football on TV is being played on a blue field. (And I have only had one beer, thank you.) I think it's college football, so anything's possible...

Oh, and in case there is anyone I have NOT shown this to, this is hysterical and I'm lifting it right off Skyler's Dad's site...

Town Meeting, Wasilla, Alaska

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