Sunday, December 17, 2006

I just want to find a fish who isn't afraid of my dark chocolate layer... and of course she'd have to love my cookie too.

To make up to Veloute for snickering at Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (giggle), my subject line is from One Fine Day. It didn't make my 100 embarrassing list, but know, if it was already ooooon...well, I might not change the channel...*hides* (Though I would still love to see both children in that film slowly tortured to death).

So far I bought Christian a swing. Hey, he needed "environment!" I tried to get him going with some ladies...I tried to hug this one slut and she was all "ugh!" so then I tried to flirt with this guy (hey, it let me! And you haven't seen Christian, what a swinger!) and he lost points!!! I surely hope you CAN flirt with a guy on this thing and score. Otherwise I'll be pissed.

But so far he's quite happy on the toilet, in his bed and with his hunger. And he makes 280 a week. Hmph. I gotta score him a hotter job. At least he's got the swing. But considering his aspiration is 'romance,' it may be dry for C for a while...

Anyhoo, #5. I know I said "from childhood up til now," but I will make this exception as far as specifics go, though I'm sure the trend irritated me as a youngster, though I can think of no specific example from that era. Even the Olsen twins were "actors."

#5. Dumb #$^$% shitheads who are "celebrities" for no fucking reason whatsoever.

I mean, seriously. Who the fuck is this and why do I know her name? No, REALLY. WHAT THE FUCK CAN SHE DO?? Lip sync and vomit? She has money? At least Britney Spears can supposedly "sing;" Lindsay Lohan can supposedly "act!" Paris Hilton is one of the ugliest, most vapid twats I've seen come across my computer screen in...shit, EVER. I hate to even discuss it as I prove my own point that she has succeeded in her ultimate dream to infiltrate the public mind. Money is the one and only reason she's NOT the podunk town whore you pay someone else ten bucks so you can do her in the ass with a bag on her head. She's THAT UGLY!! YES, HIT THE UGLY TREE AND HIT EVERY BRANCH ON THE WAY DOWN!! And she ALWAYS has that goddamn mouth-breathing high-off-her-ass expression.

I would easily part with considerable sums of money to personally pummel her face with brass knuckles cause I'm so GODDAMN SICK OF LOOKING AT IT.

Whoa, I'm sorry. Are these coming across as harsh?

Anyway. #6.

#6. Trailers that are better than the movie.

When I first started working at Carmike, I was taught this lesson courtesy of Great Expectations and One Night Stand.

So here are my big three hopefuls for the season...and I'm hoping they don't fall under #6.

The Painted Veil

looks so steamy and depressing!

Notes On a Scandal

It's not going to end well, is it?

The Good German

Yum. Just yum.

And having seen it, I added this to my top ten of the year, but I warn you the trailer is way preachier (and more gooey) than the actual movie. (Could be a variation on complaint #6)...


Veloute said...

Yeah, what is the appeal of this chick? I am seriously lost here. What does she do?

What is wrong with Mr Smith Goes to Washington anyway? It's not like I recommended The Rock to you.

And you forgot Big. Who is the shame master here?

Ellen Aim said...

Dude, I really don't know. She had like, a sex tape? I really don't know.

Mr. Smith is just waaaay too saccharine (and yes, I realize what I'm saying), PLUS James the topic itself...all three together are just too much goo for me. Yes, too much goo for the girl who put Mystic Pizza on her list.

And I *knew* that was why you left off the Breakfast Club. I asked myself how it could have happened...but I have a few of those myself.

At least I added Big on afterwards!

Veloute said...

I know, I know. James Stewart. I did hesitate. Actually, this is probably one of the movies that I might have removed or switched with now and then with another movie (say, Sixteen Candles or Pretty in Pink or even Breakfast Club) after some time has passed. Might have, until you mocked me and now it will never move because I *am* that stubborn.

I do give you points for stealing Big. I like Mystic Pizza, too. I think. It's been a while.

I am annoyed that I know who that woman is. I have no broadcast TV, I barely get any news, I don't read gossip shit, and I STILL know who that is! EW!

Ellen Aim said...

I wondered if you knew who she was. I figured that was the acid test. If a mother of two in Vermont with no TV knows, there is officially no hope.

Anonymous said...

You've made me weep with that last statement. I have to believe there is some hope!