Saturday, December 30, 2006

Australia. What fresh hell is this?

So I finally got around to watching The Proposition last night. "That's not from The Proposition!" you say. "Bite me," says I.

Well hmmm. I appear to be the only one out there who hadn't seen it yet AND...yes, the only one who hated it. It was gorgeous, I give it that. And it successfully made everyone totally filthy, way to go. (Which is why you'll take the hot Guy Pearce & tiger cub pic and you'll like it).

And if in my ramblings I inadvertently give something away, I apologize. If you haven't seen it and plan to, I might not read this paragraph (or two). I won't go into details, if that helps. Every. Single. Person. Sucked. Wait, wait, wait. Yes, I can watch a film wherein I don't like anyone, but seriously, I didn't empathize with anyone, except Emily Watson and Ray Winstone, who is the good guy, I guess? And dude! Don't they know that Emily Watson rape scenes are a -1,000 points right there? What the fuck? Granted it was a tame-ish rape scene (what the hell am I saying??) and the ending went the right way, but how was this not a totally predictable and loathsome film? As soon as she put on that Christmas dress and made everything all pretty I thought, "You're so getting raped." And while Westerns may have a hard time surprising us, this one had nothing redeeming to offer in exchange. I just fucking hated it. It had absolutely nothing going for it. I adore Guy Pearce and Emily Watson, but I've got about ten other films apiece should I need a fix.

I thought the characters were ok, but again, didn't give two shits about anyone. The story was obvious from start to finish. I felt no tension (and again, did I mention how much I DIDN'T CARE) and while normally gore and violence are great by me so long as the story is actually good, here it was just distracting. Like they spent all their time on the blood instead of the story (and backs me up here: Nick Cave finished the script in three weeks! It FEELS like it! Sorry, Nick Cave.) Instead I just dreaded the end I knew was coming, which, although suitable, came a little too late for my taste.

Why didn't I just post a review on Big Suck Loser, you ask? Well, first of all, skincarver already did and loved it (9/10, sorry!), and also because I don't think this is really a "review", but more of a "bitchrant".

I wanted to watch Kamikaze Girls again, but NetFUCKERS sent me a CRACKED copy. So instead you get to read my bitchrant.

Also watched Why We Fight, which was decent. Far less "fair and balanced" than I'd heard (they had ONE dude every once in a while state a view from the other side), but since I agree with it of course I'm going to like it.

And D didn't hate The Proposition the way I did. He thought it was ok but doesn't need to see it again. So there's fair and balanced for you.


Anonymous said...

Hey Missy.. I am putting the negative review of The Proposition down to the Texan sun-stroke, extra large dollops of chilli-dip and an over indulgence at Crimmy...

doctorphibes, liverpool, england!


Ellen Aim said...

Hooray! He comments!

It's ok, you can be wrong once in a while! Seriously, why would anyone watch this TWICE??

Mob said...

Okay, since I find them to be bleak, dirty kindred spirits, did you equally hate Eastwood's Unforgiven?

'Cause seriously, I swear ta God I can't nail down your tastes to save my life.

Anonymous said...

I was first in the queue at the cinema, my dad bought the dvd for my birthday, i have watched it with the audio commentary and i include it in my best of 2006 list! Nothing usually surprises me at the cinema anymore, but that exploding head caught me off guard, I love the use of the environment and the relentless heat. Maybe it is down to me living in such a green and pleasant land that such barren vistas appeal to me, as another top film I saw this year was Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada. I just wish it would stop raining here!
doctorphibes ~ Liverpool. ;P

(oh, and a happy new year amigo!)

Ellen Aim said...

Mob: You know, I had that same thought myself; that is, I thought, wow, I didn't hate Unforgiven, so how are they different? On the one hand, I didn't adore Unforgiven the way everyone else did, but I also saw it for the first time in the past six months. I guess Unforgiven feels more like a first date you think you might like...and The Proposition was humping my leg and tongue-bathing me with itself. The former had an austereness to it I respect.

DP: Wow, my bad, sorry to trample all over such a well-loved movie! I don't think I feel that strongly about anything that came out this year. (But fair enough, I have not yet seen Inland Empire)!

I enjoyed Three Burials (love me some TLJ, who doesn't?) but I thought it was weird how closely it mirrored Lonesome Dove (in which he stars). If you like barren vistas (but paired with a *fabulous* story), please check out Lonesome Dove. It's a tad long but gads is it worth it; I cry like a little bitch every time.

Anonymous said...

Yes Ma'am! Just added it to my rental queue just for you.

doctorphibes =)

Ellen Aim said...

Aw!! Tell me what you think when you watch it (even if it's at #431 or something). You will LOVE it (I hope).

And Happy New Year! You're much closer to it than I!