Wednesday, January 31, 2007

How do you give a lemon an orgasm?

Aw, gee, Mob, too bad we can't do our respective weddings over. Neither one of us did this (Give it 40 seconds or so, but yup, they're going exactly where you think they're going. The shame and pain are so real they burn):



So last night we saw The Descent, which I thought might be fun? Certainly better than the usual load? And oh my gosh, it was!



First of all, it starred six strong women, so it was already different (don't get me wrong, titties and slasher sex are always fun but a change of pace is SO NICE). It got some points off for three "HAHA, did we make you jump?" moments. As Cinemaslave Joe was saying in his spanking of the new Black Christmas, it's one thing to STARTLE the audience, it's another to genuinely scare them. But the rest was pretty damn awesome. The Gollum-things were cool, it had great tension and the last bit of the third act was surprising (note I didn't say "the ending" cause I'm not sure I liked the ending)...definitely worth a watch, I enjoyed it.

(And I just read Skincarver's review--right on, I totally agree. *cough*--I made a smart-ass Deliverance remark as we began, too...poor Appalachians. The review is what's linked to the above title; I forgot about the original UK ending being changed! Off to youtube I go...)

[Editor's Note: Apparently we did see the UK version on DVD. The American one ended just before the UK version (trying not to give anything away), which is to say, it was less dark. I guess I prefer dark, but if the ending had stayed the American version I still would have been surprised.]

Then it was a revisit of



yup, Snakes On a Plane! Still a lot of fun. Not sure I need to own it. And Veloute, I don't think you'd like this one. Stay away. (Not that you were probably even considering it). Lots of over-the-top shock and gore (without being *too* bloody). It's a ton of fun, but not really your cup of tea I'm thinking...

Today, arriving in the mail would be Moartea domnului Lazarescu (The Death of Mr. Lazarescu) (and per my dad's instructions I'll watch it at night), The Best of Saturday TV Funhouse and The OH in Ohio, starring Parker Posey. And goddammit, every time I see or say that title I get "Come Back to Texas," in my head.

9 comments:

Blancodeviosa said...

ok yeah the Descent sucked ass but I chose to watch it right before I drove through West Virginia (land of mutants). I got a little creeped out because the day before we had some weird truckers sandwich my Bug between them. They would do this repeatedly and then back off. Ok, I wanted to pee myself. The curves and mountains are scary enough, but then mutant hillbilly truckers. Ya, so I actual believe there are creatures livin' in them thar woods

Ellen Aim said...

I think getting stuck in Charlotte, NC is probably the extent of travelling I'll be doing to the entire Southern region. Ever. I don't care how pretty the Appalachians are, the things (people?) that live near them are enough to keep me away!

Mob said...

I'm surprised that you wouldn't wanna do the Thriller routine at your wedding...maybe we could all renew the vows in Vegas sometime and do it with Elvis leading the charge?

Ellen Aim said...

I just watched it again. Two things. First, am I the only one who thinks there are few things trashier than some broad really "gettin' down" in her WEDDING DRESS? Tasteful, my pet, tasteful.

And the groom. That motherfucker is humiliated for life. Complete with SINGING ALONG, my friends. I would almost rather there was hardcore porn of me online rather than this. Almost.

Hm. Vegas. Ok, you're on.

daveyyojimbo said...

That one guy in the lead so to speak was like TOTALLY awesome. At least he thought so judging by his facial expressions. I really liked The Descent even if the ending was a bit odd. The ferociousness of the women was quite startling. And they say females are the weaker sex?

CinemaslaveJoe said...

Now, now... don't forget that many of your Mystery Science Theater 3000 videotapes have their origins in the Deep South. :)

I liked The Descent, but thought it took way too long to get going. Chop the opening half-hour down to fifteen minutes, and it's all good.

I saw the American ending in the theater, and the British ending on YouTube. As usual, I side with the Brits.

-CSJ

Ellen Aim said...

daveyyo: Let's just hope he was wasted. Really. Wasted. And yeah, I loved how ferocious they got.

CSJ: *cough* oh yeah...well, I'm sure North Carolina has its exceptions. (After all, you didn't live in a really rural woodsy area, did you?) Truly, there are other states I'd be far more worried about...

Now that I think about it, I guess the Descent did piddle along for a while (my only doubt was that extreme sports people would NOT be getting seriously wasted the night before), but the pace didn't really bother me.

Veloute said...

Actually, if you go a bit west o' Charlotte, it's absolutely beautiful there.

Florida is worth a visit.

Don't really know about anything else.

I can't have the sound right now--everyone is asleep--but in my head they are dancing to YMCA. I do not know why.

Ellen Aim said...

Florida doesn't count. Everyone knows that one's MOSTLY ok...