Thursday, September 07, 2006

You know, some of you guys have some cute little asses. It'd be a real shame if I had to blow'em off.

Well balls. I was GOING to review Death Race 2000 for BSL but then my Netflix copy seized up both in the middle and at the end. I just had to re-order it. It was RIGHT during the Frankenstein/navigator seduction scene, just as her towel slipped off. Stupid Netfux. And it was a chunk, too. We may have been the first people to ever find ourselves confused by Death Race 2000. But liking it bunches so far. The death scenes are GREAT. The blood has quite the Argento look to it. And the hospital scene (wheeling out the elderly) was priceless. If only the disc had worked. More on this when I actually fucking finish it.

I seem to have gotten talked into working at the theatre tonight. Thursday nights blow, as they are all trailer change-outs and screenings. The shit we get usually sucks, so I end up screening the latest Strand production. (LOTS of manlove and poor production values). However, now that I'm the go-to for help on Thursday night rather than the regular, I get to screen what *I* want. I like this. Tonight, I get to screen Hollywoodland. Now, it's Diane Lane so it's fairly safe to say I would get to screen this anyway. (The other projectionists are well aware of my love for the Lane. See, unlike Cinemaslave Joe, I will totally watch a film just for the acting or more specifically, for certain actors. Not many, mind you. But I think Alex can totally back me up here, as we've probably seen the entire lifeworks of Gary Oldman (well, maybe not so much lately). From Meantime on down to Criminal Law. Some real shit. That man owes us several dinners. And it should be noted that when I do watch a film specifically for an actor, I don't necessarily expect the film itself to be good. Which is why you had better be a damn good actor). Anyhoo. I'm looking forward to Hollywoodland in a low-expectations kinda way. Strangely, I've heard from both the head projectionist and others that (prepare yourself) Ben Affleck is one of the best things about this film. I'm sure Ms. Lane and Adrien Brody do their usual great stuff, but apparently, the Afflecktion not only doesn't suck, he really pulls one out. I'll keep you posted.

Then next week I get to screen The Last Kiss, a fairly mainstream film we have no business getting and will surely get our asses kicked, Zach Braff or no. We're only getting it because our marketing director had a girly hard-on for it. Whatever, I'll screen the hell out of it, no problem. I'm actually kinda curious about it. And I'm not a Garden State freak in the slightest. Oddly enough, quite a bit about that film irritates me (mostly Natalie Portman's "quirkiness", e.g., the whole "make a crazy noise and be SO original!!" bullshit, plus the fucking screaming-over-the-cliff-moment GAAAGG!!! The Paul Simon song was the sole thing preventing me from disemboweling myself in lieu of continued viewing...oh and the goddamn ending. That reeked of shit), but anyway. All that shit bugs me, but then I'm oddly drawn to the rest. Weird. Anyway, this isn't even a Zach Braff-helmed picture, but rather Tony Goldwyn. It actually sounds a little bit like crap that will surely annoy me. But I'm curious. And therein lies my problem.

I should mention that I've consumed far more caffeinated beverages than usual today, and therefore this could be even more discombobulated than average. I drank tea all the way from Arlington and then unexpectedly had to pick up Cinema Mark from the auto shop; any time Mark is involved, so is Starbucks. So I had an Americano. And now I'm insane. At least on the drive up I had an episode of Nate and Di to entertain me. It was an episode in which they re-visited the ruins of the old drive-in they used to manage. I found it quite shocking that they had to live there and use their paycheck money to buy shit for the theatre--like concessions and shit! Not sure I could have done it...and paychecks of $125 a week, for both of them, and only received when begged for. Jesus! Impressive to say the least...

I think the next film trilogy I Netflix is either going to be Bond or Woody Allen (the latter to D's chagrin). Thinking Goldfinger, From Russia With Love, License to Kill, and On Her Majesty's Secret Service. So by "trilogy" I mean foursome. To get a rounder impression. I think Woody Allen, it'll be Sleeper, Play It Again, Sam, and Interiors. But first I gotta wrap up my TV shows to some extent. We're in the middle of the second season of Lost, Desperate Housewives (shut up), West Wing (well, season 4 there, and just me on that one), and House, M.D.. But then after that.

On a totally different track, we met with Reverend Roshaven yesterday, who is going to be marrying us. Having set foot inside a church perhaps four times in my life (not counting sightseeing in the UK), I was a little nervous. He is a Unitarian, at least, so that took nearly all the pressure off. He didn't even ask us about our religious orientation! D was fairly opposed to the whole Unitarian thing originally, as he is Lutheran, but I think when he realized finding the master of ceremonies would become the task of whomever won that one, he kinda let up. Honestly, I think he's just relieved I didn't insist on being married by the Justice of the Peace. So anyway, this guy is very nice (for three hundred christing smackers, he'd better be!) and basically gave us a ceremony menu, from which we can choose the different parts of what ends up being said. Looks like the whole thing should take about twelve minutes. (Which makes him more expensive than most hookers, if you ask me. But in this case, shorter is sweeter).

Ok, I think that's enough blathering to make up for yesterday.


CinemaslaveJoe said...

I hope you'll let us know what you think of Hollywoodland... it's currently my "most want to see" film. I'm just hoping we get it here in Scranton, a town that doesn't have a great track record when it comes to showing indie movies. And it doesn't surprise me that Ben Affleck is getting good reviews--I actually think he's a very talented actor, although his choice of material hasn't always been very discerning.

Bummer about Death Race 2000... can't wait to hear what you think about the second half! The same thing happened to me with Grave of the Fireflies the first time I tried to watch it.

Play It Again, Sam = cinematic gold.


Ellen Aim said...

Hey, Joe! Always good to hear from you. I wouldn't mind the Afflecktion proving me wrong; I did used to like him in his early Chasing Amy days before his face was everywhere irritating the shit out of me.

I've owned Grave of the Fireflies for years and have never watched it. I know, slap me. I swear I'm working on it...every single person on Cinemaslave seems to adore it, so I AM going to watch it!!

alex said...

Ha! Thanks for the shout out. Why yes, I will stand and lay claim to Chattahoochee. (I think he kind of passed the "dinners" barrier with that one, and broke into the "owes me a small expensive German automobile" stratum. I need an automobile, or him to wake up from phoning it in on the HP sets and do one last film with a scenery-chewing kickass performance, plskthx.)

-__- No! You cannot be bamboozled by the Afflecktion. Maybe there's a decent actor under there? But for me, the product he's putting out has been ruined by him steeping his career in those smarmy, slick, self-depreciating hard-luck good-guy rolls. Barfamunga.

I think you made my week by comparing the reverend to a hooker. ♥

And fuck yes. Garden State was nothing but pain.

Veloute said...

Even *I* have seen Grave of the, thanks to you, I believe...and I liked it but, damn, it was depressing as hell.

Three hundred dollars!

But it will be a fabulous wedding and I have a feeling I should not wear eye make-up.

Ellen Aim said...

Alex: I'm not saying I'll be easily won over by the Afflecktion, but it could happen. I could put him in that category of hating-to-admit-they're-a-decent-actor, next to Kirsten Dunst. Haha! I banished Chattahoochee from my memories, thanks.

Vel: But at least my reverend knows your reverend--you know, the one who never got back to me! Was Fielding cheaper than 300? Even adjusting for 90's dollars? Oh whatever, I'm gonna wear eyemakeup. I think I may giggle rather than cry through the whole thing. Don't ask; we all handle stress differently.

Veloute said...

You know, I don't actually remember the price. I'll ask Doug. I thought it was 150? It was 10 years ago, you know! I just remember thinking whatever you want, I know it's Christmas...

I can actually totally understand giggling.

Mob said...

I'm curious how you'll like the new Affleck, it looks interesting.

And Netfux still owes me a fucking DVD from where they've STILL not recieved the mislabeled one I had, and returned, oh, about TWO FULL WEEKS AGO.


sKincarver said...

Hollywoodland looks damned interesting. That's a good story. I watched the whole A&E thing.

Tell the good Rev. Roshaven Johnny Two-Lips is your ring bearer. Make a big deal out of it. That would be some funny shit.