Friday, September 15, 2006

You get it started, and I'll run you over. That's the best plan I can think of.

Black Dahlia sucked. I can't even bother to review it because the movie itself was such a waste of time. And if I don't review something I actually like on BSL soon, I'm just going to go crazy. Scarlett Johansson was doing the worst job I've ever seen her do; it was like a Saturday Night Live performance, to be exact. Hilary Swank sucked. Josh Hartnett did...ok? Aaron Eckhart was excellent but it was nowhere near enough to make the whole thing worth my while. It plodded along and I gave it miles of room, I waited patiently, and along it went. It wasn't genuinely horrible until the last thirty minutes. It's vaguely convoluted, but I like to think an additional viewing (had it not SUCKED) would have maybe helped that along. The last leg, though, it just did me in. An utter waste of time.

And I had to break down five cunting prints, one of which was eight reels rather than the usual six. Seriously man. It made a difference. Started POS around midnight, crawled into bed around 4am only to be back up here before nine. So I ain't linking to shit today.

Actually, that's it. That's my profound blog of the day. I will watch something nostalgic and fun this weekend and then hopefully write it up Monday.

9 comments:

triana said...

Aw, such a shame about Black Dahlia. I was looking forward to a new movie and the previews made it look interesting. Hmph.

CinemaslaveJoe said...

Ah, the Brian De Palma Third Act Curse: moderately interesting set-up, ruined by incompetence in the last two reels. (See Snake Eyes, Mission to Mars, and about 50% of his other films.) Sorry to hear you didn't enjoy it. Actually, the wife and I are going to try catching both Hollywoodland *and* Black Dahlia this weekend, so bring on the deep hurting! :) (It's so rare that she and I both want to see the same movie(s) that I can't pass up the opportunity to go, even if they suck.)

-CSJ

Yasamin said...

aw poop. i was all stoked about it. at least now i know that i need to get in on the senior discount if im goin to see it.

actually i just stopped by to tell you that i have been meaning to tell you forever that i love your little Totoro pic. thats it. hehe

Mob said...

You've been generally getting royally fucked over by the cinema of late, haven't you?

At least it was free, right?

Right?

No? Still not worth it?

Get some rest, take two House M.D. and blog us in the morning.

Veloute said...

Wow, I was sort of briefly considering BD for a nanosecond, too. It's at the theater here and the better half is working today (Saturday) so I was going to request some time off.

I'm hoping Netfux got my House in the mail today instead (if only we could watch it together! I would love that).

I have been sharing your blog with other b/c sweet jesus you make me laugh so hard.

Mentok the Mind-taker said...

Hi, just came across your site while out and about looking for movie review blogs. Just started one myself. Insightful writing, I'll be back.

Joe Barlow said...

Just got back from Black Daliah, and I pretty much agree with your assessment, especially the abysmal final half-hour. I did like most of the performances, though. And I must respectfully disagree with you regarding Hollywoodland, which I found thoroughly engaging from start to finish; in terms of tone and atmosphere, it reminded me of "Chinatown," though I certainly wouldn't say that "Hollywoodland" was anywhere near as good as that masterpiece. I wrote (brief) reviews of "Daliah" and "Hollywoodland" on the Cinemaslave forum, if you're interested.

Ellen Aim said...

tri: for what it's worth, if you really want to hit the theatre hollywoodland is your best bet. seriously avoid BD, tho. yuck.

yas: thank you! I randomly get the theme song in my head, like now.

mob: finished season 2 of House, M.D. Much better now.

Vel: aw!! thanks. yours makes me laugh, too. when you update it...;) Your the only person in the world who can make me think for a nanosecond about actually having offspring...

Mentok: Hey, thanks for stopping by! I'll be sure to check your site out here in a second..

CSJ: I will admit, having seen as much crap as I have lately, Hollywoodland is looking better and better. But still eh. I will definitely check out your reviews!

Veloute said...

You and Cor would have adorable offspring. It's not for the meek, I'll say that.