Sunday, February 11, 2007

Their mean, stuck-up private school kids will make fun of my crack baby, my crack baby will have no play dates, poor kid.

I can't believe I'm watching the Grammys. I never watch the Grammys. Usually they happen and then the Monday after I'm like, oh? The Grammys were on? I just don't like popular music. It's a very foreign world to me.

But I'm watching tonight. Perhaps it's a desperate attempt to at least have some pop culture knowledge, but mostly, if you ask me, I'm watching for three reasons.

1. I have a hi-def TV and holy shit does everyone look great on it. It's too bad we hate sports, really.
2. The Police opened. It was kind of a waste, though, I mean, one song? Jesus. Lookin' good, though.
3. The Dixie Chicks kick ass; it was great to see them perform and hopefully they'll pick up all five awards they're nominated for. (But oh Natalie, the fuck was up with your white nails and white Barbie dress? At least you do brunette well...)

The major downsides:

1. I already had to watch Jamie Foxx be gross. And while we're at it, can these award shows STOP STOP STOP showing black people in the audience every time someone black is onstage? Just once, man, show Jamie Foxx talking and then, I don't know, cut to Sheryl Crow or something, jesus.
2. John Mayer is up for...I don't know, ALOT.
3. I don't know who half these people are.
4. And can they stop cutting people off with music? It runs long, who cares? I don't give a fuck who these people are thanking, but that just always struck me as so tacky.

I'm going to go pour a glass of wine and see if that helps. Uh oh, I just heard someone tearfully thank Jesus Christ. Better make it a bigger glass...


Blancodeviosa said...

oh neat, the grammy's were on. i always miss that crap

Mob said...

John Mayer is a sign of the Biblical Apocalypse.

The Beast has arisen from the eternal sea of mediocre music, and may very well be banging Jassica Simpson.

Veloute said...

Grannys, schmammys. I never know who those people are, either. But even I would watch it for the Police (OMG?) and the Dixie Chicks.

Veloute said...

I mean Grammys. Fuck, whatever.

daveyyojimbo said...

I think your number one on the major downsides goes for all these award shows. Maybe in the sixties, seventies and maybe(big maybe here) even in the eighties it was somewhat warranted but anymore, C'MON. It's just soo sad.

daveyyojimbo said...

Oh, and by the by, I finally got off my duff(sorta) and sent Corinthian and yourself a record setting belated marriage present. Just think of me as Larry David and that pretty well sums up my role here.

Ellen Aim said...

Blanco & Vel: yeah, grammys, blah. Even with the Chicks winning everything and the Police opening, I could have turned it off after ten minutes (the two good performances over) and then just read the results later.

Mob: Ew. And he's just so...ugh!! I hate watching him sing!!! That creepy mouth...(shudders).

Daveyyo: How funny, I only saw that first post! (And on that, yes, SO painful. I visibly cringe (or you know, yell) every time they do it. And thank you for that fantastic present! I sent you an email, but as I said, I liked getting stuff late--it makes for a great day and a great surprise. It's too much and we're very much looking forward to putting it to good use!! I would send you the first creme brulee in the mail but that'd be, like, gross.