Sunday, February 11, 2007
Their mean, stuck-up private school kids will make fun of my crack baby, my crack baby will have no play dates, poor kid.
I can't believe I'm watching the Grammys. I never watch the Grammys. Usually they happen and then the Monday after I'm like, oh? The Grammys were on? I just don't like popular music. It's a very foreign world to me.
But I'm watching tonight. Perhaps it's a desperate attempt to at least have some pop culture knowledge, but mostly, if you ask me, I'm watching for three reasons.
1. I have a hi-def TV and holy shit does everyone look great on it. It's too bad we hate sports, really.
2. The Police opened. It was kind of a waste, though, I mean, one song? Jesus. Lookin' good, though.
3. The Dixie Chicks kick ass; it was great to see them perform and hopefully they'll pick up all five awards they're nominated for. (But oh Natalie, the fuck was up with your white nails and white Barbie dress? At least you do brunette well...)
The major downsides:
1. I already had to watch Jamie Foxx be gross. And while we're at it, can these award shows STOP STOP STOP showing black people in the audience every time someone black is onstage? Just once, man, show Jamie Foxx talking and then, I don't know, cut to Sheryl Crow or something, jesus.
2. John Mayer is up for...I don't know, ALOT.
3. I don't know who half these people are.
4. And can they stop cutting people off with music? It runs long, who cares? I don't give a fuck who these people are thanking, but that just always struck me as so tacky.
I'm going to go pour a glass of wine and see if that helps. Uh oh, I just heard someone tearfully thank Jesus Christ. Better make it a bigger glass...