I celebrate the man's entire catalogue.

Wow! D cleaned the entire apartment all of yesterday, by himself; he painted the living room and kitchen back to their crappy white (the paint the apt gave us was basically water with some white stuff in it, so we mostly used old Kilz from here at the lab--I have no idea why it was here to begin with). We just have the stuff in the fridge basically, but other than that...just gotta do the walkthrough next Tuesday, leave a dead pigeon wrapped in pork in the vent and we're done! Ok, maybe not that middle thing. But I called the dumb bitch in the office this morning to see if we needed an appt for the walk-through...

DB: "Yes, you'll need to make an appointment."
(pause).
EA: "So...I guess the earliest slot in the morning? Or even 10 or 11?" (I thought to give D a little time to double check the place).
DB: (in that wrap-up tone): "Yes, great, that will be fine."
(pause).
EA: "Would you need my apartment number?"
DB: "Yeaahhh...."

I mean, wtf? And I got that total oh-I-am-so-not-even-writing-this-down vibe from her as I gave her the info. It's just one of many places designed to screw you as hard as they possibly can. I bet you don't need an appt, but they say you do if you try to show up on the day of your move-out saying you need to do a walk-through.

The Kiwi D is currently in NYC but not liking it so much. He thinks it's stupid that he's forced to take off his belt at museums. I mean, he's right, but you have to appreciate where you are. I sort of imagine all the public buildings in NYC to be like small airports. And if you can't take your toothpaste on the flight, you sure as shit can't look at art with a belt on. Right?

So I've been harboring the idea of renting a convertible for a day while Emily is here, sort of my hen party to myself. And then I found this website and this treasure trove of sweet-ass convertibles. And what-have-yous. *Drools*. And really, I'm not a car person. But I can still appreciate how sweeeeeeeeeeet these babies would be. I'll take the Aston Martin or the obvious Ferrari. Ok, seriously, I am toying with the idea of the cheaper BWM convetible...that one is fairly feasible...even though I would so prefer the Mercedes...ok, back to reality! Here I am!

Oh, and the wedding drama turned out to be no drama at all. Apparently they bought their tickets a billion years ago and the mother had said she would switch it for them. I guess she did and the airline screwed it up? So it just involved a very long day of her being on the phone with the airline yelling at them. I feel her pain but am very glad this is a non-issue. And I don't think she really gave us all the info to begin with. Just an alarming spurt of craziness interjected into the day, why not.

And, having been tagged by Mob, here are my replies. Once a year, these are kinda fun, even if I am dull as shit.

Here we go:

1) Would you bungee jump?

Not in a million fucking years. No. desire. at. all.

2) If you could do anything in the world for a living what would it be?

Make trailers for new movies; only I get final say on all editing and can use any music I want.

3) Your favorite fictional animal?

Archie the cockroach from Archie and Mehitabel.

4) One person who never fails to make you laugh?

both Alex and Veloute

5) When you were 12 years old what did you want to be when you grew up?

A vet. Til I saw my cat get neutered.

6) What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?

Math, to see how late I can get up and not be more than a little late.

7) Have you ever gone to therapy?

If by "gone to therapy," you mean "drank red wine in the spa," then yes, all the time.

8) If you could have one super power what would it be?

Teleporting. Save me lots of money on airfare and time off work.

9) Your favorite cartoon character?

Pink Panther. No talking Pink Panthers, either. The one with the cigarette holder and everything.

10) Do you go to church?

Been twice for a funeral and once for my grandfather's ordination. I was little. And bored. I think my mom gave me M&Ms to shut me up.

11) What is your best childhood memory?

Christmases were always good. Good dinners, lots of chocolate and tea strewn about the place the next morning.

12) Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?

No, but I think lots of people do it for the wrong reasons.

13) Do you own a gun?

Two water guns, one for each cat.

14) Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?

I slapped a guy once, but he asked me to. And not hard.

15) Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people?

Yes, but what happens in Thailand stays in Thailand.

16) What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

The length from the base of the their palm to the tip of their middle finger. No, seriously, I guess hair.

17) What is your biggest mistake?

Well lately, I'd say screwdriver #8 at the bachelor party...

18) Say something totally random about yourself.

I secretly think Sandra Bullock is really cute. Too bad she can't be in anything decent I could ever admit to watching.

19) Has anyone ever said that you looked like a celebrity?

I used to get Tori Amos a lot, but not so much anymore. I guess I started looking too haggard.

20) What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?

Last xmas D got me a kitten and even let me name him after my favorite chef/writer Anthony Bourdain. "Bourdain" is a good yelling name, as it turns out.

21) Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?

Sometimes.

And I hereby tag Vel and Triana because they are the only friends I have with blogs whom Mob didn't already tag!