Friday, November 14, 2008

I've got a little itch, down there. Would you mind?

I think this is from Tuesday or so, I just never got around to finishing...

Damn. It's really raining out there! Me? I'm having deep dish cheese pizza and wine. A smart girl would be at home, but there was no food there. Well, there was some microwave popcorn, maybe some pickles...milk...I think there is some leftover tomato bisque from election, no.

And it's just windy enough to make me nervous. My umbrella is my Very Super-Sexy Mitsukoshi Umbrella, and you've got another thing coming if you think I'm letting that thing get blown inside out. What's a little water? I'll get soaked before I let it get ruined. It's not that I don't mind an excuse to go back, but those fuckers are pricey. (My mom and I caught a sale a couple years ago...)

Anyhoo. Long day, same stupid shit but nothing interesting enough to actually merit a place here (unlike my titillating food and umbrellas stories).

So my friend J and I have already been bitching back and forth about this year's Bond and whether or not it will suck. He sends me some review--published on Fox News, which already sends my eyes rolling--shitting on it. This reviewer is apparently all put out that Bond is mourning Vesper. The reviewer claims Bond wouldn't give two shits and neither should we--infact, who among us recalls who the fuck that was?

I beat my head against my desk. I'm so sorry, please go seek out your old school '60's Bond if you want him to slap some twinkie's ass with a wink and a, "Run along, honey, man talk."

(And hey, I don't know about you, but I'm watching Quantum of Solace for its artistic integrity. it weird that the one on the left does way more for me? Ok, anyhoo.)

Plus, let's all please recall that this is setting up Bond to be Bond. This is why Bond is who he is. Seriously, the film might totally suck balls (there were rumors aplenty when word got around that it clocks in at around 1:45, don't ask why), but let's not say that it sucks balls because "Bond doesn't have any." Kiss. My. Ass.

In all fairness, the review also said A) the theme song sucks donkey nuts b) there is no bad-ass opening...and beyond that, I just don't recall. Those may be valid complaints, and I'll letcha know.

But this was a totally endearing look from The New York Times at Daniel Craig himself (thanks, Alex! *drool!*).

...and now it's Friday and the Bond is out. J saw it the other day and said something along the lines of, "Yeah, craptastic. It was just non-stop action and a nonsensical plot."

And I was all, "Fucking A!"

This really isn't his sort of flick to begin with, but now I think he's just missing the point altogether. And he isn't ogling Daniel Craig, either, so there's very little in it for him.

In any case, plans are on for tomorrow night, so fingers crossed for LOUD, HOT ACTION! Rowr.


Triana said...

DUDE. Bond is about being hot, lots of action and looking good while doing it. Plot? That's just secondary. We don't need a reason for him blowing up a building with a bazooka while kissing the girl. We just need him to DO IT.

I wish we were going tonight, but I don't think we're going to make it. Maybe tomorrow.

And Daniel Craig looks mighty fine in that suit and tie.

Veloute said...

One on the left is definitely better.

God, those old Bond movies had the craziest, weakest plots. No one cares about the "plot". We all know why we're there.

Although I don't miss the "man talk" lines or the "Pussy Galore" names. Okay, actually, the cheesy names did make me laugh against my will.

Oh, and good god, don't get that umbrella wet. Why the hell did you even take it out of the house O_o ??

Ellen Aim said...

Triana: Fuck yes to all of the above. Fingers crossed for tonight!

Vel: I think some chick in it tonight is called "Strawberry Fields," or maybe that's a joke I read somewhere. But it's still an improvement, I suppose.

And sometimes the cringe-worthiness of the old Bonds is just what I need!

It is still my only umbrella. It usually isn't windy, but when it is, it just means I have to get wet.