Wow, maybe litigation isn't for me. Being in court has not caused me to think this, but rather it's my horrible listening skills.
I remember doing additional listening skill exercises as a child with my mom because my standardized test scores showed it was the lowest area (but I'm sure they were still totally awesome scores because I can think whatever I want). But she had gotten these supplemental materials to help me because that's what good mommys do, and one evening we were working on them. She read a short passage and I had to write down answers involving a particular story about a new roller coaster ride and the name of it was "Blue Prince" but somehow I ended up writing something about "blueprints" in an answer. And I've really always had this sort of problem.
Well, fast-forward to twenty years later and I'm here I am trying to log into a bar's wireless network (I left my phone at home but was determined to go out and have BBQ and some beers in Davis because it is SEVENTY DEGREES IN BOSTON TODAY and I just turned in a giant ass-pounder of a research project. Like, the kind where I think my eyes are bleeding by the end. So I know it's nothing new for me to randomly day-drink, but just tryin' to fill in the details). ANYWAY. I pop into a bar because it has giant open windows and I need to check my email to make sure my professor hasn't emailed me to be all WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.
And so the following conversation ensued:
"Do you have wireless?"
"Yes! The guest network is 'giraffe36' and if that doesn't work, the private network is 'giraffebeer36.'
Time passes. None of the passwords work.
I turned my laptop around to show the bartender, in case there needed to be caps or numbers spelled out or I possibly fucked up the spelling of 'giraffe.'
"Well, yeah, but 'draft.' So, 'draftbeer36.' We have 36 beers on draft."
AH YES. BECAUSE SEE, THAT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE. But "giraffe" was totally a logical thing to assume. Yes.
I mean, nothing takes you down twenty pegs faster than something like that. Especially when you're then all, "HAHAHA, uh yeah, I was wondering...I mean, I thought 'giraffe36' was cute and all...I'M A LITTLE DEAF."
But what I desperately wanted to say was, "I ACTUALLY DID NOT GO TO A SPECIAL SCHOOL."