Sunday, January 15, 2012

If you're a man? If you act heroic? You'll come back as an'll come back as a'll come back as Jude Law!

"I'm sorry I'm French!" It's the Foreign Press Association! Why do the foreigners always apologize!! THEY HAVE THE CUTEST SPEECHES, Y'ALL. (Ludovic Bource won Best Original Score for The Artist.)

Um, also? How in the HELL did NO song from The Muppets get nominated for Best Original Song? That's not some weird oversight, that's...that's like someone got caught giving head to someone they shouldn't have. Or...something. There's just no way. But Madonna wins it, whatever. Ok, she actually bumbles in genuine surprise and then says, "I'm not French, I have no excuse!"

Ok, some more dresses. There is no reason I should like this dress, but again, I think Nic's rocking it. (The gold detail is actual..."beading" isn't the word I want, but you get it.)

She has worn some real crap in years past and she also seems to have had some facial work done that was starting to make her look creepy, so I'm glad to see her looking a little more normal this year. I actually do dislike the dress, but she's pulling it off? I'm stressed, who knows.

Emma Stone!

Emma is probably in serious danger of wandering into OVEREXPOSED LAND, but I still really like her. And I know it's super obvious that I would like her. I can deal with that.

Miss Portman.

Natalie, honey, you got a pass last year. You were mega-preggers and wearing things that I strangely thought looked pretty smashing on you (that pink number with the giant red rose on your bosom? who the fuck wears that? but I secretly thought it was fun and flattering). THIS dress is hot pink and yet...completely beige.

Ok, here's a BAFFLING AWARD...

Michelle Williams for My Week With Marilyn. She's a fucking stellar actress (and yet I just...I find her vaguely off-putting, I just can't put my finger on it) and I'm sure the film is..."the acting was really great") but um, Best Actress in a Motion Picture--Musical or Comedy?? Even when announcing the nominees, Seth Rogen was all, "...the hysterical comedy, My Week With Marilyn..."

If they want to have an OTHER category, just fucking say so.

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