Monday, March 24, 2008

I used to fuck guys like you in prison.

Omg. Laughing my ass off. How had I never seen this movie?

Totally awesome. But jesus, a little intense in parts. One part, mainly, near the end. Some guy says the title line I've got up there as he and Swayze are beating the shit out of each other. But don't worry, merely moments later, the Swayze rips the dude's throat out with his bare hand. Jesus Christ! Uh, they don't make action movies like this anymore.

Another classic moment: he goes to see the hot town doc to get stitched up (even though earlier we saw he usually does this himself) and she asks him about his degree from NYU.

"What did you study?"

And we said it together, "Philosophy." So wonderfully awful I could almost own it.

Before that D and I polished off Enchanted, which was, for lack of a better way to describe it, really cute puke. Except for one thing: is it a requirement now if you have a chipmunk in your movie there must also be scat humor? That was so unnecessary. But Susan Sarandon was marvelous and it goes without saying I don't think this movie could have ever made a dime without Amy Adams.

She's really cute. The movie definitely had more than its share of moments (James Marsden's not bad, either, as the prince who tries to rescue her); it's as fully predictable as you expect, but then, how could it not be?

And though neither Patrick Swayze nor Richard Gere are my normal taste, I guess yesterday was just a day for hot young Buddhists, as before Road House, I took in An Officer and a Gentleman, which I had also never seen.

Really great 1982 flick, once you get over the whole Golly, I Just Need a Man To Rescue Me thing. And the 18 different muzak versions of Up Where We Belong punctuating each "moment." But Richard Gere did a great job (so young!) as did Debra Winger, very cute, and really, it's all about the Louis Gossett, Jr. role. I didn't realize it was this movie that brought us that vivid image, "I will skullfuck you." A very all-around macho type of movie. But 80s romance at the same time. It weirdly worked--just don't get all PC on it. And don't step in all that melodrama in the second half.

Now if you'll excuse me, my cat is flipping out. There is a stray that comes around and taunts them both and it makes my cat Mouche especially insane. He got his ass kicked by a similar cat a few years ago, and maybe the Dog Incident a few weeks back didn't help. Maybe this cat is spraying as well? But it's so bad that Mouche turns on Bourdain for a little while. Well today, it's three hours past The Incident, and Mouche still is having none of Bourdain, tons of growling and hissing and altogther one pissed cat.

It's like he's having a 'Nam flashback he can't shake. We even tried giving him catnip to chill him out (draw your own parallels) and just when we thought it had worked, Bourdain made sudden movements and killed the buzz.

Tried putting Bourdain in the big carrier so Mouche could sniff him out, but Bourdain has MAJOR carrier issues and just flips out HARD CORE, so that was just fucking pointless. This is getting really frustrating, though. No idea what to try.

So I'm staying home today to make sure no one maims anyone else. Oh, and I put in my two weeks' notice.


Alex said...

(1) Dude. These sound like oddly enjoyable movies. Totally watching RH asap. XD; If only for that subject line, holy--

(2) "Sniff him out." Maybe Mouche just doesn't swing that way?

(3) "Oh, and I put in my two weeks' notice." WHOOOOHOOOOOOOO! :D :D :D Applause applause!
(...unlike 90% of the internet, you remembered to make "weeks" possessive, so you deserve to find a new kickass job immediately.)

CinemaslaveJoe said...

I just saw Enchanted over the weekend as well. It proved the point I made with Meet the Spartans: parodies work best when they have a degree of reverence for their source material. Amy Adams was a revelation (I forgive her for Junebug), and the songs work so much better in the film than they did on the Oscar stage. Hated the ending, probably because it's so Sarandon-centric (the last movie I liked her in was Rocky Horror), but overall Enchanted was great fun.

I'm rather ashamed to admit that I *still* haven't seen Road House. I'm a bad MiSTie.


Ellen Aim said...

Alex: Lol, I seriously do recommend all 3. Way fun.

Mouche is about to swing his way to Denton.

And should I wreck your impression of me by telling you as soon as I typed "two weeks' notice" I thought of Sandra Bullock? See that? I can have bad taste AND grammar TOGETHER.

CSJ: Ok, Enchanted both did and did not work, you know? Amy Adams even made Junebug work, but that's another discussion.

And before I have to cut ties forever, regarding this terrible Sarandon thing, did you even SEE Thelma & Louise? I mean, HOLY SHIT. Rocky Horror??

I totally recommend RH, total action fun.

Mob said...

I believe there's a version of Road House with a commentary by Kevin Smith and his producer Scott Mosier, which I've always been curious about...

Veloute said...

You quit! WTG!

I will have to add these to the queue, but I am a little afraid of RH.