Republicans know the right name can make any legislation sound as unwelcome as a turd in a punchbowl.

I have been meaning to update this in the past few days, even before I got a limerick with proper grammar asking where I was!

First of all, we were having a really great spring in Boston until the night before last. It just got COLD all of a sudden! I remember the night in particular because I actually went out and about.

I was sitting in the theatre district having a cosmo because the hospital where I get my physical therapy is next to the theater district. (This was after the appointment, thanks.) And I remembered my friend B had gone to see Cats! the night before. I know it's not cool to like Cats!, but I do, I have much nostalgia for it.



Anyway, I hadn't planned on going cause that shit's pricey, but she said she got a student rush ticket for $25. After texting her to confirm the theatre, she also said it was cash only. I never carry cash, nor do I have an ATM card. But weirdly, my husband had just given me $20 the night before (more on that later) and I had a few ones. I bought the girl next to me a drink in exchange for cash and off I went, hooray, cause I'm smart like that.

I really enjoyed the show and I have decided that I want to be Mr. Mistoffelees when I grow up. He gets to wear a full-on rhinestone-encrusted outfit and everyone claps and cheers for him the whole time. And he's just a bad-ass. So I'll work on that.



(Oh Google images, you never let me down with your weirdness. And while searching for images, I came across a picture of Evan Lysacek skating his gold medal Olympic win in which some commentator had said he looked like Mr. Mistoffelees in his Vera-Wang-snake number, so at least I'm consistent in what I like.)

Anyway, by the time the show got out, wow, I was not dressed for that. Chilly. Luckily, the theatre district is also really close to the red line train stop. Ah, Boston.

And I'm now trapped inside for a three-day weekend in which I...study. woot. It is so gross and cold outside so hopefully it doesn't drive me to the sofa and the two discs of Queer As Folk that came in the mail...

And I have words for Project Runway, but I don't think A may be caught up yet, so I'll refrain...

And lastly, as for the $20 the hubby gave me, I recently won best oral advocate in my writing class. He thought I just won against my opponent (which we don't do since it's just one argument, we don't get to rebut each other's statements), so he gave me the $20 to treat myself to something. (Which as you can see, I did!) But then he realized I actually won in my section (and all of us that do get invited to a competition next year), so he took me to Sunset Grill last night and I finally got to try their Banana Bread Beer! It was big, it was tasty...and yeah, I don't think I need to have it again!

Oh, contracts and your sweet siren song, I hear you calling...

That was pretty cool what I did. You wanna make out?

So it's the middle of Spring Break, most of which has been spent at my desk next to my bedroom window. It pissed down rain all through the weekend and Monday especially, but now it is approaching 60 and gloriously sunny. It looks great. You know, from here.

Monday I did have to venture out, however, for my physical therapy and French class. I had to wear my boots, since it was still chilly, which were really getting down to their last days. These are the uber-sexy boots my mom bought me in Himeji back in 2003. Considering their most excellent price, they sure did last a very long time. So the bottom of the right foot was getting a little loose, and no sooner did I leave therapy...well, it came off almost completely. It was still hanging on, and if I raised my foot, it flopped about. (I couldn't rip it off.) So I had to sort of drag my foot along to get anywhere. It was very Horace Pinker from Shocker. Seriously, it looked just like that. (Well, less dramatic, I suppose.)

Very luckily, I knew there was a DSW shoe store between therapy and school, so it took a bit, but I got there. I found cute shoes (open-toed, not the brightest move when it's pouring rain and chilly, but I wasn't going to shell out for expensive boots in late March, kwim?) and $44 later, still made it to French class on time. (Though my class-mate did remark on my brave shoes in the elevator.)

French class is going fairly well. There is one girl in the class who certainly exceeds the other five of us in aptitude, but I think she has a good amount of time (and certainly desire, good on her) to devote outside of class. She's also studying Finnish, which is neat. (You know, for her. Rock out. I have no desire.)

The teacher is quite nice and easy to get along with. On the down side, I get a little paranoid sometimes. I really hope that English is not her first language or that if it is, she just didn't understand the use of a word she recently used. We were working through some exercises that we all seemed to have a grasp on and she wanted to know if we'd just like to move on to the next thing. We all sort of looked around and muttered our accord. So we moved on to the next section and in choosing who went first she said, "Ellen! I heard your strident voice agreeing, why don't you go?"

Ok, maybe I'm wrong, but I always used "strident" to mean a piercing/obnoxious shrill voice, yes? I think my mouth visibly hung open but I regained composure and moved along. WTF? I'll show you strident, woman...

About to head out once again for another round of physical therapy (which sitting at my computer hasn't been helping, but it's amazing how much the exercises my guy gives me DO help) and French class. Then it's Restaurant Week here in Boston and D's birthday, so we have reservations near the waterfront at a surf-n-turf (ok, I wrote "turd," let's hope that's not the case) type place I ordinarily couldn't afford. NOM.

I'm afraid to look at my ass. There'll be griddle marks.

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!

KATHRYN BIGELOW JUST WON BEST DIRECTOR!!

She is the first female best director. And she fucking deserves it.

AND YUP, LOOK AT THAT. BEST PICTURE, IN THE BAG. WIN.

Look what Uncle Ed's got for you, you little fucker!

I admit it. I can't tell the difference between Rachel McAdams and Elizabeth Banks. And I'm okay with that; I just don't care.

I'm calling it. The Hurt Locker has it in the bag.

I'm officially getting older--I'm getting tired, let's wrap this shit up guys!

If you're thinking "Holy shit! Holy shit! A swordfish almost went though my head!" If so, then yes.

The first thing I ever heard about Inglorious Basterds back during Cannes was all about Christoph Waltz. So congratulations for a well-deserved Oscar. When all the buzz about the new Quentin movie revolves around YOU, you must be doing something pretty special.



YAY!! Best original song goes to T-Bone Burnett and Ryan Bingham for Crazy Heart. You know I'm in law school cause this is a Maggie Gyllenhaal flick and it's been down the street from my school for ages and I still haven't seen it. I can't help it, man, I saw Tender Mercies, y'know? Which I liked and enjoyed, but I'm not sure how different this one is.

"I love you more than rainbows, baby." Somehow, particularly for Crazy Heart, he made it work.

Did you know my husband doesn't like District 9? I know, I don't get it, either.

WOO!! Hurt Locker won best original screenplay. I think this is a sign of Best Picture things to come...

Molly Ringwald presenting? Goddamn why did she have to have surgery. Ah, is it time for In Memoriam? Holy shit, no! It's just a huge John Hughes tribute! Aw, goddamn, I wasn't expecting this, I'm drinking... Wow, they're really going out for this tribute, which they have never done before. I'm not saying it's undeserved, it's just...surprising.

I know they're trying to get younger viewers, but that's not really a younger viewers move. That's a my generation move...

You don't date a bloke who lives in a car.

Um. I feel real uncomfortable after watching Whoopi Goldberg do a commercial for FREQUENT AND UNEXPECTED WETNESS. O.o

I must be getting old, I just don't understand why they keep interviewing Miley Cyrus. Oh right, desperate for young viewers. Sigh.

Goddamn, Helen Mirren always looks stunning.

Yay, finally starting.

"Why does a prisoner drop the soap? 'Cause no one wants to do it alone!" SONG LYRIC WIN.

I secretly want to grow up to be one of those dancers on stage whose costume is nothing but tits, feathers, rhinestones and heels. Hmm, but ok, maybe not on ABC.

Do you prefer Margaret or "Satan's Mistress"?

WOW.

Sandy may be in a honking steaming turd of a movie, but she is trying to make up for it by wearing the FOXIEST DRESS EVAH.



Yeah, this isn't it.

I mean, this shit's live, what can I say, I'm too lazy to break out the goods to capture the images. I'm sure Go Fug Yourself will have something tomorrow. (Along the "Well Played," lines thank you...)

It's a little frustrating that everyone keeps saying she (is going to earn) the Oscar because "she's done her time." Are you fucking kidding me? In what, Hope Floats? She's like the rom-com queen, she's hardly Meryl Streep. And really, I'm not trying to knock her, I do think she has range, but I just don't understand this sudden ubiquitous movement that Sandra Bullock is an Oscar-worthy actress. I'm not saying she's not, I just don't know that I've really seen her do a wide enough range of roles to merit that, kwim? It seems even less deserved than the knee-jerk Julia Roberts Erin Brockovich win.

Oh whatever, she's real cute and she makes me laugh, fuck it.

That was like watching paint do its taxes.

I can't say I care as much this year about the Oscars as I usually do. They nominated ten films for the first time, but all that did was just include more CRAP. I haven't seen all the best pic nominees and to be honest, I didn't even really try.

Everyone seems to think Sandra Bullock is a lock for The Blind Side (which oh holy jesus, I refuse to see), but I wouldn't be so surprised if Gabourey Sidibe snakes it for Precious. You know I love me some Sandy, but can she win for something that doesn't make me want to barf down my front?

Speaking of which, my friend J texted me the other week to see if I'd caught Bradley Whitford on CNN. (Why he was on CNN is beside the point, I couldn't begin to guess.) Somewhat newly divorced, apparently Mr. Whitford has decided to rock the pedophile mustache and J found it disturbing enough to send me the link. I say he lost a huge, huge bet.

Holy shit, how can Sigourney Weaver still look like she does? (She is rocking an awesome Chinese red dress, btw.) I am talking serious deals with the devil.

I'm also counting how many times Ryan Seacrest or whatever sycophantic star-fucker is on-camera to conduct the schmooze-festing says, "George Clooney."

And finally, just sayin', I want to reach into the screen and backhand every person who fawns over loving Avatar. They're a poser for lying or a tool for genuinely liking it.

Something peed in your bed.

So my scariest law professor did kinda earn some points today trying to tell us a story about how while reading to his children when they were younger he realized that Dr. Seuss' Sneetches book was a great Equal Protection Clause story and YOU COULD SO TELL from the way he retold parts of it that not only had he had to read that fucker one billion times, but that he probably had about three children. Some of us (older people) appreciated it more than others. I thought it was really cute the way it was burned into his head, like Goodnight Moon is in my family.

Also, days and days have gone by where they predicted "rain and snow showers." Dick. Bupkis. Nada. And right now I'm sitting in the fifth floor library reading room. The southwest wall is floor to ceiling windows with a great view. I don't know how or why, but apparently everyone looked over at once--out of nowhere it just started positively shitting down snow. After a beat, everyone just started laughing.

And already the snow is dwindling back down. Sigh. I'm ready for spring of course, but if it's going to be cold it should really just snow already. Is this New England or what?!

I'm about to throw up down your back.

Aw, I'm sad the Olympics are over. They were sort of nice to have on the TV. Tonight I was (sort of) studying and Twitter just exploded as USA tied the gold medal hockey game with Canada, so I admit I had to tune in. Wil Wheaton's tweets were bordering on frantic, the others were slightly calmer...Sadly, though, halfway through the 20-minute OT, Canada scored...it was an impossibly good shot at least.

It was also kinda neat to see The Colbert Report in Vancouver...doing Vancouverage, as they called it. But he interviewed all the scary-sport people, like those guys who do, what are they called? Ski aerialists? That is some scary shit. I think it was probably on that show that someone said the Winter Games are less like real sports and more like drunken dares. Shame Colbert didn't have any figure skaters on...



And seriously, is Lysacek eating a bowl of Fruity Pebbles? I like to think so. The important thing is that cocktail shaker there in the background. Good boy. Because of course this is totally his kitchen, right?

Back to the grind now, with nothing major going on anytime soon. Boston's Restaurant Week starts March 14--26, so I'm a little excited about that even though I have no money. NOM.

And I did regular yoga today in a class, which was slightly heated. It was a beginner's class, but all week they only offer regular power yoga, so guess I'll be trying that! I didn't have a hard time today, it's just a matter of not having to look around to make sure you're doing stuff right. And I could have done without the happy baby pose, thanks. I'm sure there's worse.

And I also get to start French classes on Wednesday, yay! There are fewer than ten people in my class, so hopefully that's a good thing. And hopefully I keep up with it and won't be that student. I'm also hoping no one in there is obnoxiously above their level. Kill.

What do you play, the leather jacket?

Well it's true my favorite skater is still Evan Lysacek, but I've always enjoyed his "rival" Johnny Weir, too...and bonus points to Johnny here for the Lady Gaga track...



And I loved getting to see Moir and Virtue win last night--the scores weren't even close and neither were the performances, however good everyone else was.



Tonight starts the ladies' finals, so I'll be watching! I also need to sneak out to see Shutter Island, though, so we'll see how much studying I get done...

So on a completely different note, I was referred to a doctor for my neck which has given me trouble for the past two years. She did a lot of little tests on me, including one using a tiny needle to prick me everywhere...fun. And we went through that whole boring conversation about using a computer, posture, getting up every twenty minutes (HAHAHAHAHA) while at the computer, exercising, etc. and I wanted to be like, "Yeah, that shit ain't cutting it."

So she did ask me if I wanted to try a shot of something right in my shoulder. At my age, I've learned to say, "Yes!" when the good doctor asks you if you want the drugs. Honestly, I was still skeptical. And sure enough, for an hour or two my shoulder was just sort of weirdly numb and my upper neck is still awkward. And even better, it's sort of sore from the shot. Awesome.

But I get to start physical therapy next week, I'm just sort of hoping the insurance pays for most or all of it, ignorance is bliss. They also took X-rays which made me think of my torts class and the doctor who negligently forgot to ask if the woman might be pregnant. (It didn't matter because even if he had asked, she would have said no, not realizing she was.) Anyhoo, yay for them, they did ask me. (Although, great side note, the doctor who did the main exam on my neck was a little judgy both at not only my not wanting kids--"I bet your mother doesn't like that answer!"--but also at my not having my husband's last name. Listen, wench, you fix my neck and you can judge the shit out of me, deal?)

And now I'm going to move to study because Bourdain is having his bath and when he does that the air sort of hangs with the stench of feet caked in rotten tuna on a hot sunny day.

But he's awful cute.

You're an aquired taste, babe.

I'm gonna come right out and say it: I think Evgeny Plushenko is a whiny little bitch.

And it's not because an American finally won the first Gold (for men's figure skating) since 1988 or that Evan Lysacek is, quite frankly, pretty easy on the eyes.



I genuinely thought it was a better performance. (And apparently, it's not on youtube so you'll just hafta take my word.) I mean, why the hell would you do the quad if it wasn't going to get you any more points and you were pretty sure it and a previously-broken ankle would take your ass down?

Regardless, during the medal ceremony, Plushenko just looked so bored and pissy. Running off and bitching that, "It's supposed to be men's figure skating, not ice dancing," really makes you look...well, like a total asshole. Way to go, dude.

Yesterday I ate nine cans of aerosol whipped cream.

Oh, today's Valentine's Day? Whatever.



First of all, I am so unimpressed with Boston winters. Seriously? This is all you got? I will openly mock winter because frankly, I dare it to shock me. Denton has seen more snow than this city.

I embraced my three-day-weekend by studying. It. Is. So. Exciting.

I'm also still figuring out wtf to do this summer. The best part is the financial aid. I have to apply for it (obviously), but I don't know what I'm doing so I don't know how to budget for what I don't know and a budget is something I have to submit for fellowships and grants. Gah.

So I started watching Glee. It's really awful. I rented it since it won some Golden Globes, not knowing what it was about. It's like Gossip Girl mated with an after-school special and some mutation made it into a musical.

But you know...it sort of has its moments, namely Jane Lynch...



...and Stephen Tobolowsky (aka Werner from Sneakers..."Passport?" hee hee).



But hey, I'm totally needing some stupid right now. Sold.

It's girls and spaghetti! We love girls and spaghetti!

Happy Birthday, Veloute!!

A completely nonsensical video fun to start off with...



...finished up with something, well, a little disturbing. Jemaine has a sexy dance for you!

You play that thing one more time and I'm gonna melt it down into hairspray.

So I went to my usual late-lunch place towards the end of last week. It's my little hideaway very close to school where I've never seen another student. I sneak away in the late afternoon sometimes when I can't be in that building anymore. I love it. Plus I have two waitresses who know me by heart and promptly bring me my chicken sandwich and Hoegaarden. It's like the opposite of that Frantics skit.

But last week I was working when she brought my second Hoegaarden and when I finally glanced up to retrieve it, I noticed that infact, it had a giant black straw sticking out of it. I laughed, and the next time she walked by I asked, "Really? I really look like I need a straw today?" Apparently she was also preparing a water at the time, but I thought it was funny in any case.

(I did not drink it with the straw, thanks.)

Completely unrelated, but I have been recently partaking of Student Health Services, and even though they don't seem to be able to maintain appointments any better than an unconscious crack-whore (they rescheduled on me TWICE in one week), the woman I see is so much better than nearly anyone I've ever seen before, I really don't care. But long story short, I ran across this on TFLN and had to snicker...

(217): So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy.

And because good things come in threes (no pun intended, considering the last one):

757: Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town.

(918): I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. Law students are so technical.

That's right, I'm back to phoning it in, people.

So glad I listened to ya, dad!

If you play violins, I will tear this place apart.

Lmao, tell 'em, honey.



Severely humorous, articulate and very short in his thanks for Best Actor. Well, well deserved, to one of my remarkable favorite actors, Robert Downey, Jr.

And WOW, hooraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay for Jeff Bridges for winning!! It's about goddamn time, talk about underrated.

I had a penis reduction, so just the one now.

James Cameron, really?

GROSS, dude. Just...gross.

Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I'm free the next morning.

Very cute line about a "Martin Scorsese Award" in regards to tonight's Cecil B. DeMille Award. I didn't realize they were giving him an award tonight...



I don't have the time at the moment, and I won't pretend all his 80s movies were a big impact on my love of film (though they were to some extent, I mean, DAMN, Taxi Driver, anyone?), but his 90s efforts (literally, starting with Goodfellas) and current films very surely were/are. Great sound, music, acting, characters...the whole package. The man was clearly never afraid of making an impact--and judging from The Departed, still isn't--which I love. And I regard him as an incredible artist and remarkable filmmaker, someone whose films are always worth watching...anytime, anywhere. I grew up watching and learning from his movies and they made a huge impact--I hope they continue to do so.

And I know my friend Louisa is back home in Tokyo dripping with her usual effusive adoration for Mr. Martin Scorsese. He has, I have no doubt, never received the attention and awards his films deserve...so you know he's good. ;)

Details of your incompetence do not interest me.

How is it possible that Meryl Streep looks so normal (you know, lines, shadows, age, etc) in Julie & Julia but then at these award shows, with no special lighting, effects, cameras, etc., she looks so goddamn gorgeous? The woman just glows with awesomeness.



(And I am here to say that I would bet nations that Julia Roberts is drunk right now. Seriously, I can spot that shit. And right on, the woman has twins and a third kid, it's probably a rare night out, I'd be eight sheets to the wind, too. But kudos to her, I saw her laugh out loud at NBC--in their face on live TV--"You guys are in the toilet right now!" That was so fucking great.)

Colin Farrell pokes hilarious fun at Meryl Streep for being nominated twice in one category. And she WINS, natch. DUH, and well deserved! No shit, this woman is just so modest and genuine, how does she keep this up. What a neat, neat lady.

Mariah Carey times!

That was a line from Tina Fey, answering that she didn't think 30 Rock would win anything tonight and that they were just going to sit at their table and get drunk. And how great a speech would that be, the interviewer said, when you win anyway (all drunk)? Given her answer of the above, I had to laugh.

Nicole is looking simply ravishing in a slinky pink satin number. NOT a fluffy cotton candy pink number like that one Barbie dress her daughter picked out a couple years back. And she takes a moment to mention the Haiti relief George Clooney is running, mentioning she's not sure where he is at that moment...honey, I'm pretty sure, based on female reaction all night at every one of these events for the past ten years, THERE IS A CLOONEY CAM, YO.

And Mo'Nique wins! She did do an incredible job, and her speech is actually pretty touching. :)

And WOWZERS, Toni Collette just snaked a win from the always-winning Tina Fey (whom I do love, don't mistake this) for her role in United States of Tara! Did I not just recently mention how awesome she makes that? It's written by Diablo Cody, but you honestly can't tell, it's a good thing. Collette and Fey are both lovely, but I'm glad (and Fey seems to be, too) they're giving awards to those who haven't had them yet.

You know, if you wouldn't open your mouth everything would be just fine.

Btw, I'm too lazy to take still shots tonight so I'll just post random pics I happen to like of the celebs, which is more fun for me anyway.

Marion Cotillard looks unusually skinny tonight? Maybe it is her super slinky black number. But she is so fabulous.



And is it just me or is Bradley Cooper a weird love child of Ralph Fiennes and Matthew McConnaughey?



Wow, my delicious husband Colin Firth just showed up. The annoying interviewer was playing with his bling buttons and cuff links. He admitted he could never afford either, but all I know is he can just talk for days, wear those cuff links and honey, we're in business.



Whoops, sorry. I mean, "He's a very talented actor." *cough*

Mariah Carey's tits just showed up. They brought the face, too, but uh, I can't stop staring at her weird balloon tits.



Okay, this may not actually be Mariah Carey, it may even be a drag queen.

But you know how I feel about that shit, I can't really post her face here. And this way you get the idea.

But you know, I did hear that Helen Mirren originally had her part in Precious but dropped out. And now Mariah's all, "They put all this ugly makeup on me..." Um, no. They didn't put any makeup on you, honey, that's why it worked. You looked normal. Bitch, you shoulda kept your mouth shut, I was kinda liking you for once. But no, you open your mouth and remind me just what a total waste of flesh you actually are, kthxbai.

Sadcakes.

Whew! There's Bob to save the day! My gorgeous other husband, he and Colin alternate days. Lookin' good, hope he wins tonight, he was the only thing Sherlock Holmes had going for it.



Well, that and fun. Shirtless fun. *cough* Anyway.

Give me the full Don Draper treatment. I wanted it and I got it and it was even better than they said.

Aw, January Jones brought her daddy to the Golden Globes! She looks pretty glam in a sleek and (unusually) reserved black number. But did her daddy see her on GQ?! Cause dude.



Who am I kidding. If I had ladies like that I'd probably do that cover, too.

On a side note, the House, M.D. ladies are all looking gorgeous, I must say.

As your attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown bottle in my shaving kit. You won't need much, just a tiny taste.

So I watched Cheri and boy was it mediocre. Seriously, this hat was one of the best moments.



The creepy May-December romance that kicked off 11 minutes in would have been less creepy if she hadn't kept referring to knowing him as a 6-year-old. And while it may have been intentional and certainly a key aspect of the film, well, um, Michelle Pfieffer was not always looking...well, I really hesitate to blame age because I truly think the fact that she appeared to weigh 90 pounds soaking wet was the real problem. She looked positively anorexic. When one appears gaunt, it's just not sexy.

Anyway. It wasn't overly long at least, and it was mildly enjoyable the way a trip to the dentist is great when you don't hear you have a cavity. It wasn't offensively bad but it was a pretty piss-poor effort overall. In my opinion, anyway.

And sure, Rupert Friend is pretty easy on the eyes...



Yes, he loves putting on her pearls. Don't ask. (This picture alone promises so much more than the movie ever delivers.) But the character ended up being such a bratty wanker...the actor did well by the character for the most part, but at some point it was just too much to ask for me to care.

I worked out again today, yay me. I need to push myself a little harder, I realize, but as I said, I'm just thrilled to establish some sort of routine. As long as my exercise regime is slightly more exerting than something on a Liz Lemon level, I can't get too down about it, right?

Classes are really going to kick my ass this semester, too. We start earlier and end later nearly every day, even though the load is only slightly more this semester. Sadly, it's just spread out really poorly. Not to mention my new class sort of terrifies the fuck out of me.

And my little cat is still keeping me company every afternoon with his sad little e-collar on. Apparently 2 weeks away is too long, someone started scratching at old war wounds. It's the most pathetic thing ever, especially when he tries to clean himself and ends up chasing various body parts while running into things with his e-collar...I may join him after much more studying.

You're so suitable!

I haven't looked at my blog stats in ages, since let's face it, I haven't blogged much this past six months. But I found two very disturbing things, and it's a tie...I can't decide which is more fucked up.

A) someone out there is looking for a Cannibal Holocaust mug (depending on where they work I may actually be in favor of this)

B) more than one person is not only looking for, but has been directed to my blog in their quest for "Gretchen Carlson's titties."

Sigh.

I came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass...and I'm all out of bubble gum.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALEX!! What kind of birthday would it be without Maru?



I like the first video in 2009.

And check it out! The "official" music video for Nowhere Fast! This is basically a shitty trailer, but hey. It has a lot of crap B roll I'd never seen before. Needless to say, the stripper features prominently...



But damn. Getting to see that with you in the theater was such a high-ranking bucket list moment. Must do it again sometime.

And because no birthday is complete without a shame parade...



For the record, I still want Cece's bedroom wall in the beginning. You know, the "He...he never loved me!" wall. Meaning I probably need Kelly's lips phone to go with.

I'm pretty sure I post the same shit every year, but they are variations on the same shit, at least. Should have re-watched while I was home, ha ha! And you know, I have vivid memories of the last time we watched this, both of us laughing at the kid in this clip with the "You Are Always Alone" wall and for the life of me, I have no idea why. Booze?

And I held back, not posting the mesh-up of The Linguini Incident with the tune of Hungry Eyes video.

Needless to say, your present is gonna be late...just got back to town, you know! ;)

Apparently I ain't the only cat on the block that digs Cheetohs!

I actually have a horror movie to recommend! So my dad sent me a list of top ten darker 2009 movies ("10 movies in 2009 you didn't see"), most of which I was able to add to my Netfux queue. I already watched Not Quite Hollywood, which I do recommend. (I think Mob enjoyed it as well, if memory serves.) I’m really not a huge fan of exploitation films but from time to time, they are…entertaining. Well, this look at all Aussie exploitation (Ozploitation!) is really neat, though I can’t say there were any I’m going to personally seek out. (Well, maybe Road Games, ironically the one often looked down upon for casting Americans). But the documentary itself is certainly fun to watch.

Anyway, the horror movie is called Grace.



It’s obvious from the start that it’s either got a decent budget or at least people who know how to shoot as if they have one. Not your usual amateur effort. While I don’t need to see Grace again, it’s really well done. It has the exact sort of pacing, timing, effects and camera work that make a really entertaining horror movie. It’s not over-the-top gore (though there are a couple choice scenes) but it’s also not really a suspense psychological thriller either; it’s just really messed up.

The film seems to be made by people who appreciate horror and love the genre and who certainly have a sense of humor about it. It’s a little reminiscent of early Peter Jackson horror, just not ramped up to 11 like his films are. But on the other hand, Grace does feature an undead-fetus-turned-Audrey-II...so I don’t mean to say it’s mild, either. But it’s got that fun charisma that holds it together and it’s got some pretty nice camera work, which really helps elevate it to a level higher than most horror efforts these days.

So if you like horror movies at all, this was a lot of fun. I wouldn’t want to own it, but I enjoyed watching it.

Also started watching The United States of Tara, which I am really, really enjoying.



It has some great moments, and Toni Collette always makes things worth watching. And even though I was never a fan of Aidan on Sex and the City (unlike most people...but sue me, the guy was a total snooze fest...and I mean the character, not the actor), John Corbett is perfect as her husband. It’s funny and entertaining, just what I need now that the semester’s nearly back on.

Speaking of new semesters and the new year, I have actually worked out three times this week. I haven’t exactly been killing myself when I work out, and the amount of cheese, alcohol and carbs I consume before and after probably means that overall, I’m doing sweet fuck-all to help my health. But hey, if I can establish somewhat of a routine with working out, maybe the diet will follow. Even minute adjustments would probably do wonders. And while I’ve been exercising, I’ve been listening to my Spanish podcasts (gotta pick up a language before graduation cause hey, nothing better to do, right?). So I’m the girl on the treadmill muttering, “Are you from here?” in Spanish. Awesome.

Here’s to keeping it up for another week…

I didn't sign up for this shit!

Wow. Avatar was just...bad.



You know I can get behind some fun, goofy crap from time to time. And for the first half of the film, I was totally willing to go with it. But then it just got too awful. It took itself very seriously, the dialogue went from corny to giggle-worthy, and ultimately, there was just too much silly bullshit for me to navigate my way around.

In nearly equal parts, Avatar made me extremely uncomfortable, made me roll my eyes, or made the MST3K voices in my head go off constantly. And it was LONG. What I thought was the unbearable last 30 minutes may have infact been the unbearable last hour.

The first half was passable, you know, it wasn't so bad. But there was this "taming" scene with some beasts...maybe it was just me, but my sister was able to second my unease...well, it was just way too rape-y for my tastes.

As for the Na'vi themselves, why even start a rant when this article, Please Mount My Hot Blue Alien, nails it so much better than I. Funny and spot-on. Thanks, Alex!

I threw out all my Colin Firth movies in case they thought that was "erotica."

I have had a very relaxing break back home, and I'm still not ready to go back. For one thing, yes, it is still in the 30s in TX, but you know what? It's 2 back in Boston. If that. Snowing, windy, and DARK. I enjoy snow as much as any girl from TX, but I kinda like it IN TX where I know it will melt soon. So kinda not looking forward to dragging my luggage through the snow (again) back to my apartment!

But I have been catching up on non-school books and movies. I read Shutter Island, which, although decent and enjoyable, was really not terribly special in my opinion. I think I've just read better books of that ilk and there weren't any surprises in it for me. I love Lehane's Kenzie-Gennaro books, so I was a little disappointed by this one. I honestly think, if done right, it could potentially be a more enjoyable movie. (Even if DiCaprio doesn't look as old or weathered as I imagined Teddy to be, but hey, whatever.)

I haven't checked off a huge number of Golden Globe nominees, but I did see Up In the Air. Wow. That is NOT the comedy everyone touts it to be. Why it even gets categorized as a comedy is beyond me. It's not even really a black comedy; it's a drama with a few laughs maybe? It's a little depressing but realistic and overall very enjoyable; I would highly recommend it, but admittedly it's not the upper one might seek. I did really respect it, however, for a lot of the plot choices. I also got to grin a little as a former employee of one of the companies largely featured in the film. So happy I'm not anymore.

(For the record, Brassed Off! still holds my personal record for most poorly-categorized movie ever. I mean, look at the video cover art.)



Did you see this? This ain't no fuckin' rom-com, guys. It's a fairly depressing look at a brass band who live and practice in a small British town during the demise of their coal industry (I haven't seen it in several years, but that's the gist). Everyone's in debt, utterly depressed, I think there's a suicide attempt and all the characters can no longer maintain even a scrap of hope. THE HELL IS UP WITH THE COVER OF THAT VIDEO BOX, YOU KNOW? I mean, I remember laughing ONCE at a cute line, but it is not a comedy by any means.

Sorry, just one of my rants...

And speaking of uplifting, I'm going to start reading The Road next since I wanted to read it before seeing it...keep the sharp objects away! Definitely going to need something actually uplifting here pretty soon...

I tune out self-pity. It makes my dick soft.

Yes, I am still here.

I'm pretty sure the connecting flight through LGA to home just boarded and I heard them begging for five people to get off and get $500 passes instead. Hope they don't ask my flight the same thing. I mean, they CAN. I won't be volunteering for jack.

I am playing around on Cute Overload, Texts From Last Night and Fail Blog. And I had to leave my gate area because I was giggling too much. Some favorites...I like to think you can work out what comes from where:

(513): So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.

Followed by some AWWWWWWWWWWWWW:



And some creepy:







This last one kinda reminds me of the "sign" posted in the elevator that goes from the Park Station platform to the street level. Someone has taken a Sharpee (blue) and just written on the white plastic part of the wall (so there is really no "sign" to speak of), "Do not urinate on elevator. You are on camera!" And I always cringe a lot and try not to breathe. At first I thought, "I'm never taking this elevator again!" But let's face it, those law books and my computer are pretty fucking heavy. So yeah, sometimes I ride in an oft-pissed-in elevator to get to the street. Meh, whatcha gonna do. At least it always smells severely of bleach and death in there.

By the way, I agree with you, too. Especially in those pants.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. One semester down, five more to go. The first year is supposed to be the worst, but I don't know if the first or second semester is the ugliest. The first semester hurts because it's new and the midterms (and one final) are stressful--but then next semester my hours are longer, the winter gets meaner and the finals are 75%, as opposed to the 25% they were for midterms.

Criminal Law was my last one, a final. Next semester I have Constitutional Law instead, in a smaller section and for twice as long. JOY. On the bright side, the book was $150 and I found one for $40 online. (Something about a broken cover, ask me if I care.)

The criminal law final wins the humor contest, though, since I actually snickered out loud twice while reading it. He clearly had a lot of fun writing it, using current events to make every conceivable felony we studied happen. Some guy was trying to make a new reality TV show but he wanted to pull a publicity stunt first, so he got a guy to get him a gun, some explosives, and some seed money. He got that guy's wife--with whom he was having an affair--to steal a homemade balloon from the college where she was working. At some point, he put the explosives in his trunk and due to a defect and extreme heat, they went off and killed a passerby. He went to go meet up with the other guy to give him the gun, but the wife was home and when the friend came home, caught them together. The wife had some fairly inflammatory things to say, including that their children weren't his after all and they infact had a stash of frozen embryos and were going to have babies forever. As you can imagine, there was some attempted murder, but someone walking by outside got shot intead, which they all covered up. The jilted husband went online and got his assistant to find the embryos (known as "frosties"), and as he instructed him, "Toast those frosties!"

I am very fond of this professor.

The publicity stunt ended up being a take on the whole balloon boy hoax (so how funny that their sentence got handed down today), but the kid was really in the balloon here, but died when a helicopter pilot flew too close and the balloon was destroyed. The kid had already become unconscious due to the altitude, but upon discovering the dead body, the fact pattern noted, ("An autopsy report is still pending,") which made me chuckle, I admit it.

And that was just the first fact pattern. So there was potential burglary, robbery, involuntary manslaughter with potential 2nd degree murder, conspiracy, attempt, extortion, damn, it's a three hour exam and we all could have written more.

Anyway, I'm at the airport now, trying to fly home. I am five hours early, in the hopes of snaking something on standby. This probably would have been more likely if a flight to my city hadn't been diverted this morning, don't know what that was about. So there's about twenty people on standby for a flight at 4:30 connecting through New York. I'll stick with my direct flight, thanks. Of all the cities to get stuck in, I'd take LGA, but really, I'd like to pass on that altogether, mmmkay.

And because it occurred to me about a week ago I have NO PRESENTS for my nieces, I get to go shopping on xmas eve! Smart, that's me. I'm dragging their mother, Veloute along, so she can point to stuff and I can buy it. Win.

I have two books with me, Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane and The Road by Cormac McCarthy. If I can find an outlet, I shelled out $7.95 for the honor of using the airport wifi. (SOME airports let you use it for free, but WHATEVER.) So I can play online, and I do have two DVDs--To Sir, With Love and the first disc, first season of XXXholic: Vol 1, neither of which I've seen before.

On the other hand, the bartender here now knows my name and started off by trying to get me a Bloody Mary. Nice. I'm opting for white wine since I don't wish for any of my drinks to revisit me on the flight, kwim? And he's pouring freely from the bottle for refills rather than bringing me normal glasses, so this could be the place to stay for a bit... ;)

Why should I listen to you, anyway? You're a virgin who can't drive.

I was sad to see Brittany Murphy died today, at 32. Naturally, aside from "cardiac arrest," they don't say anything about the cause, just rumors of diabetes or anorexia...



It goes without saying she was so adorable in Clueless...I've seen her in other roles, and while she was always good, the movies seldom were. It's really a shame the material just wasn't worthy.

And we were going to make you King of the Winter Carnival!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.



Now get the fuck off my computer, cat, I have to study. (I mean, I do have the heat turned on, you know...)

(Seriously, by the time I discovered this, his fat little body had added 300+ empty slides to my criminal law presentation, ha ha. I just re-opened it.)

Pearls! The woman is wearing PEARLS in the KITCHEN!!

I started Julie & Julia last night, not very far in yet, but I'm enjoying it. I really like Amy Adams--I know everyone says they just want more of the Meryl scenes (and I can still see why)--but for the record I really do enjoy Amy Adams.

Anyway. Thank GOD one of my exams was YESTERDAY morning and not THIS morning. Because FUCK. ME.



That's the marsh outside my window. It's usually water. It has been freezing over a little in the mornings but this is new. And you can barely see the train station, let alone the Boston skyline.



The area between the door and screen was even filled with snow! That's what the winds are like!



Someone likes it, though.



The snow is blowing sideways. I have been watching people shovel the front of our building and trucks plowing by and it is a really sad exercise in futility.

There is, seriously, more snow on the path than when he started.

It’s just noise comin’ out of an ugly scientist.

My neck is incredibly sore from sleeping on it wrong. Nice work.

I am very much procrastinating this morning. I need to not do that.

For one thing, I told myself that if I got a lot done today, I could go to a special screening tonight. It's in Braintree, so it's just a ten-minute drive south of my little town. It's the first time Doctors Without Borders has allowed a documentary to be filmed while they work, and wow, if that doesn't just sound uplifting enough right there, how about a clip?



It's called Living In Emergency. It's screening in NYC tonight but they're broadcasting the screening and the follow-up Q & A at various theaters nationwide at 7:30. It's also on the shortlist for Oscar documentaries (shocker).

If nothing else, it's guaranteed to take my mind off my studies.

And I know, I've been posting recently but mostly I've been sneaking in clips and songs and whatnot and those aren't really posts are they? But there is very little going on in my day lately.

Wake up.

Sit in downstairs cafe and drink too much coffee.

Dick around online.

Study.

Dick around online.

(We won't explore the time proportions on these, mmkay?)

Start drinking.

(We also won't explore what time of day these occur.)

Keep studying but go upstairs to prevent more dicking around online.

Eat. Pass out.

Repeat.

This can't just be shagging. A mini-break means true love.

Speaking of awesome chicks who play the piano...



You know, I almost got to see Weezer a week ago. My friend S thought she might end up with an extra ticket, which I would have gladly taken her up on, but she ended up not having one. And then the band got in an accident and Rivers Cuomo had to go to the hospital for minor injuries so the show was canceled anyway. (I think all is well once more.) But I really had fun at Weezer when I saw them in Austin nine years ago!

Anyway, I thought this was a cute song and was thrilled to see they asked Sara Bareilles to sing with them.

But see, that's another new album I didn't know about. Dang.

Let's get you a cocktail.

It's sad really, how disconnected I have become from normal everyday things like news, movies and music. I got a $15 itunes gift card from my mother-in-law, and not knowing what new albums had even come out this year, I glanced at NPR's All Songs Considered, a podcast I used to listen to but haven't in ages. Well, I opted for the new Regina Spektor album, Far, since I previewed a few tunes and I usually really like her stuff. Plus she's ttly cute and I will see her live one day. (You know how I like my chicks'n'pianos...well, though I was never a huge Tori Amos fan, but whatevs.)



But it's far more fun to say that my mother-in-law also (indirectly) purchased Jay-Z's 99 Problems for me as well. (And it's true!)



Anyhoo,it's almost time to go home! 2 down and 3 to go. I think a really good new album will help me to the finish line. (That and all that popcorn, Alex, you rock!!)

I don't show my tits for watered down Bud.

I'm not just putting on an eye-candy parade, really, I have a reason here.



First of all, I have been studying too much because I sat here at my laptop for a good twenty seconds going, "What is that bastard's name again?!?!" before I remembered. Sad.

Anyway, I'm told they were ridiculously on sale, but I am now the happy owner of the first THREE seasons of Supernatural! Hooray! (And yes, Mob, it's a great show, it's not just an excuse for me to drool over Jensen Ackles on a weekly basis, ha ha! On the other hand, erm, that is sort of what Castle is (only for Nathan Fillion), so I'm not going to pretend like I'm too good for that...that show is such a guilty pleasure, but it does somehow manage to be cute and watchable, again, clearly because of NF.)

ANYWAY. Dying to rewatch the first season of Supernatural. I remember it being really great except for one episode, I think it was on the second disc, called Bugs. Omfg. It was such a "Which One of These Does Not Belong" Seasame Street moments. The whole episode was total shit and there was this great scene with spiders in a bathroom...wow. We were positive they were little plastic spider rings with the rings cut off and you could infact--I swear--hear them clattering to the floor when someone picked up a white towel full of them. Ed Wood would have been proud.

And I'm not yet vouching for season 4; it was treading real thin ice and I've yet to complete it.

So good xmas so far! I get prezzies as study breaks, but I am very good about not watching them that instant. Oh, and here is my Enterprise (mentioned in the previous post):





*squee*

And I also admit that yesterday was not as full of studies as it ought to have been...

One of the xmas prezzies I got from my mother-in-law was an Express gift card and well, I have been wanting to go shopping there lately...practically speaking, I need some type of suit...impractically speaking, a girl can always use a new dress for a rockin' New Year's Eve party! ;)

So I compromised and found 2 suiting skirts (the jacket sleeves were a tad long and it was also a little tight, so no go) and I got a wearable-for-other-occasions little B & W dress. (There was a tiny strapless black dress with swatches of sparkly and I was very good at talking myself out of it.) I also got a couple shirts and another dress. It was a great day to go shopping--since it was a weekday, I had two people waiting on me hand and foot (in a good way for once, not in that annoying, pestering go-the-fuck-away manner) and I talked the girl into splitting up my purchase into 2 transactions so I could use the coupon twice (you got $30 off if you spent $75) and even with my gift card, I still spent too much.

Considering I haven't been clothes shopping since probably last year, though, WHEE!!

So yes, I know, this was my most titillating post yet, but what do you expect when I'm procrastinating? And you can probably also tell how much coffee I've had.

For any fellow procrastinators or anyone needing a great laugh, here was mine for the day (thanks, dad!):

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Gretchen Carlson Dumbs Down
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

All you had to do was come and say, "Hi" or "thanks", or something... I mean... But no, you sent me to a restaurant with shitty breadsticks!

Wow, whoops, sorry about that. No updates AND you get to stare at Steven Tyler. I will try to make amends.



So at least if I don't update, you can enjoy some Nathan.

It has started getting cold finally (even though it's colder in Texas, wth). Yesterday morning was my first midterm. I woke up, looked out the window to see big gusty wins of fat wet snowflakes swooshing all around. It would have been pretty had it not been so unfortunate looking, as it is when one is realizing one must go out in it shortly.

And nothing was uglier than the midterm itself. It was my first but the one that I--and everyone--was dreading most. There is nothing I could have done differently study-wise, they were two essay questions I felt were a little out of the blue, one in particular. Whatever, it's over.

Another one Saturday. It's an easier one but I also don't want to blow it off. Big mistake. Huge.

13 days til I can get THE HELL OUT OF HERE YAY!! It's not so much that I'm eager to leave Boston, it's just that I'm incredibly eager to GO HOME!!

I am also very excited to see ACTUAL REAL THEATER MOVIES!! First of all:



I just couldn't put up an actual image from The Road cause every image is so bleak and melodramatic looking. I haven't read the book but I'm thinking that it and Shutter Island will keep me company at the airport. My friend L saw it already (she adores the book) and said that while it was incredible and did well by the book, she said Do. Not. Watch It. Til After Midterms. Real upper, you see.

And you know I'm ttly spazzy to see The Lovely Bones cause it's Peter Jackson and the trailer looks like it too does well by the book. Another upper.



I'm hoping it's sort of in that Heavenly Creatures vein. It just looks like it will be visually captivating and I'm all for that. Happy happy happy to be sucked into anything not law-related.

Of course the problem is that no matter what the topic, I often can only think of law-related issues. It's sad. It happens with receipts, it happens at the grocery store, it happens when friends get mugged, it's taking over my brain.

But movies, want! Silly stuff, too. Want me some Clooney in Up in the Air, want some Princess & the Frog, anything. One of those two might be a treat Saturday after the midterm, not sure. The 3rd midterm may be a bit of a beast, and the last one surely is, so have to take it easy with my "treats."

Nothing else special going on. Oh! I did get home and watch the new Star Trek movie last night, one of my xmas prezzies from D. I took pics of it, but I'm not on my laptop at the moment, so this is almost it (the one below is the Blu-Ray, but you get the idea):



So the Enterprise model IS the DVD case. The saucer section opens up and has 2 DVDs inside. It is SO COOL and my inner dork is so happy. So it sits on top of the DVD shelves because obviously it doesn't shelve very well. ;)

Heads, I win. Tails, you *ooze*!

Congratulations, Steven Tyler, for having the scariest fucking picture ever.



I couldn't really care less if he is leaving Aerosmith, I just know a bunch of us died laughing at this picture in class today. As the guy next to me said, "God, I can just hear Stephen Colbert doing his Crypt Keeper impression!"

You go get the door--I'll be in the closet!

Nostalgia time! (For me, anyway.)



Omfg, that theme song.

Something else not available on DVD...the funny thing is, for me, it was just enjoyable to watch when I was a kid (I was probably 8 or 9); how could I know anything about it was controversial? But I guess this was probably the first gay-themed sitcom on the air. Half the jokes must have flown over my head (like the subject line).

Showtime kicked ass in the 80s. Who knew?