Well, I saw everyone else lining up, so, uh - I thought you were selling drugs.

(Ok, so this is the supersweet NYC store, rather than either of the ones in my area. I can't help it if my town is ugly).

Hee hee! I have a new microphone and it works. These two things do not always go together, especially since I have a Mac and I have learned that nothing terrifies people in the electronic store more than the words, "I have a Mac." In the interest of time and sanity, I even checked with the Apple store people, hey, any external mic will do, yes? Even though on the *forums,* they say NO, this input port is for anything but a mic. People at the Apple store say yes, any mic will do.

Strangely, I think I believe the people on the forum, as I expect they have more experience with a Mac than peon #7 at the store. So I took my piece of shit mic back to Circuit City and went to Radio Shack to get a USB mic, which was what I was trying to avoid in the first place since my USB ports are all full and I don't want to buy a hub. So in the end, I cannot update my ipod and talk on the mic at the same time. I hope I will live.

To ensure I was not crazy, however, I actually took my piece of shit mic to the Apple store so I would know it wasn't my Mac. (I was planning on just buying one there if need be). My choices: the Apple store in Dallas or the Apple store in Southlake. They are both 40 minutes from my house and because I do not possess the ability to learn from my mistakes I though, "Hey, Southlake! That will be more adventurous; I have not been there in years." Now shockingly, I did not get lost, always neat. This may be because I infact used to work in Southlake *years* ago and the Apple store, to my mixture of delight and chagrin, is now a block away from the place I used to work. This would be, sigh, Starbucks. It was the first thing built in something called The Town Center. But let's not dwell on my time there, let me instead paint Southlake and the Town Center for you...




(Not in myyyyyyy day!)

Southlake is best described in only one way. New money. Lots of it. I do not like it. Dallas may be full of old money and ugliness, but there is something particularly nasty about the taupe & mauve taste that all of Southlake possesses. The Town Center, when I started working there, was brand new. I was one of the staff that opened that Starbucks, it was that spanking new. Nearby was a Corner Bakery (shudder) and a Rockfish. And lots of open space. Now? Now Town Center is so shockingly different I wasn't sure I used to work there. Let's pretend TC is a boy. In college you dated and he tried so hard to be hip; he was so awkward and new but hey, he had a great personality so you dated for six (tame) months. Now, you've just run into TC at the store nine years later. He has the tightest body, an English accent, speaks German and Chinese and can infact make a perfect souffle. TC is so out of your league you just want to yell that you were there first. But no one would care because I'm just so out of my league I shouldn't be there. Wait, I mean you. You shouldn't be there. Ahem.

There's a goddamn *Apple Store* a block away from my old job. The newest Central Market is across the street. (Ok, so that was part of my reason for going). It's Wednesday and I almost couldn't park anywhere! And stepping into the Apple Store itself did little for my self-esteem. Everything was so pretty and pristine...I refrained from asking if they had a sterling silver phone dialer I might purchase.

And while the Apple Man was nice and even hooked up my POS mic to a mini and confirmed that yup, that doesn't work, it doesn't really confirm my suspicions that while it may be a sucky mic, that goddamn port is not for mics at all. I said hey whatever, sell me a mic. "Well, we don't really support the mini here, [we only support the neeeeew and exciiiiiting Macs here]" (so maybe I just inferred that on my own) and he kinda showed me an adapter for my ipod that I could use for a mic (which would be cool in a Nate & Di sort of way, but not really what I was looking for). So I left and yes, hit my Starbucks on the way out.

As it was nearly ten years ago, I was happy to discover my entering the store did not cause a wave of ominous familiarity. It could have been any Starbucks. There was the tiniest hint of doom, as if you walked into a random store and thought, hmmm, that's odd, I think I had a nightmare here once. But I got my Americano and promptly left.

Then it was off to Central Market (*drools*), where a less-than-delightful seafood man sold me my farm-raised clams and then at check-out, some total cunt blatantly walked in front of me and parked her ass. It was the express area and luckily the stand nearest me opened up first so they took me. But jesus! I hope while we were in line, someone was throwing up their mocha on her white Lexus.

The CM in downtown Dallas is by far my favorite. The meat and seafood people are gregarious and friendly and the whole store seems to love working there. In Southlake, that is just so not the "done thing." On the plus side, I picked up a Malbec Mendoza from Argentina, one of my favorite wines. I'm trying to stock up for Drew's visit in June (let's see if that one makes it)... I also got something called purple potatoes (really, they're purple!) to make with the steamed clams tonight.

And I still have not had lunch.