You know, even though we've watched Pretty Woman like, 36 times, I never get tired of making fun of it.

When most women get depressed, I assume they go look at pictures of puppies and kittens to make them laugh. And I certainly enjoy the occasional glance at Cute Overload, sure.

But when I'm feeling down? I head over to Garfield Minus Garfield...as you can readily tell, the concept is to remove Garfield from the entire strip. It is the most depressing thing ever but I cannot stop laughing my ass off.







Mix in a little alcohol and it's pure joy.

How can you tell a Frenchman's been in your backyard? Your trashcans are empty and your dog's pregnant.

Speaking of movies that continue to be classics that I can quote line by line, we've now moved on to Stand By Me. It never gets old and it never fails to make me laugh.



I wish I had more pull in the world, I would totally bring "boss" back. Ok, maybe not.

We were just discussing the rating (it's R...presumably mostly for language...the leech scene might not have helped) and how unusual it is that it basically stars a bunch of kids (aging from about 12 to 15), yet it's a fairly hard R. I actually really wish more movies were like that these days, but it's rarely the case. So many movies are dumbed down, lame, tame and generally witless. It's hard to think of a comparable film with realistic dialogue for kids this age, but I could be overlooking something I suppose? Mmm, oh yes, She's All That, absolutely.



Some of my favorite trivia bits from imdb...

While practicing his lines, Jerry O'Connell was incredibly impressed that, as an 11-year old, he was being allowed to swear.

When they were filming the scene where Gordie and Vern are about to be run over by the train, Wil Wheaton and Jerry O' Connell did not look scared enough; in frustration Rob Reiner yelled at them to the point where they started crying and that's when they were able to film the scene.

The pond the boys fall into was a man made pool because the crew wanted them to be "safe and secure" and didn't want to put them a real pond because they didn't know what was in it. But Corey Feldman stated in a interview the joke of the whole thing was they built and filled it with water in June and by time they got to film the scene it was in August. So it been out in the woods for 3 months and they didn't know what was in it anyway.

Great ending, can't wait to see Wesley Crusher take on Jack Bauer, kwim? ;)

I love robbing the English, they're so polite.

My copy of A Fish Called Wanda is just not the best quality, it's sad. Is there a remastered one out there? And I have no special features, just some crappy trailer. I'm really not all that into special features, but this is one of those movies where I absolutely would be.



The audio mix is really crap on this DVD, too. Grr. And it's such a great movie. In case you can't guess, I'm watching it right now...it's been too long. (Not that I can't still quote it verbatim, mind you.)

It does strike me how much harder it gets to make movies like this (caper-esque, but it's so much better than that) as times change and technology gets better...you know, so much easier to prove/disprove various things...but the whole point of a movie like this is fun.



And nostalgia may have me biased but I still don't find it even minutely dated...must be the charismatic acting on everyone's part. Still nothing but great chemistry, witty dialogue, more than enough story going on with fabulous editing and soundtrack both. Very much a classic.

Get ready to become the main character in the story of the worst day of someone's life.

So I learned a fun lesson the other day. The key to my car (and so many these days) is one of those keyless entry numbers where, although there is indeed a key on it, most of it is buttons--arming/disarming, popping the trunk, etc. Well, did you know that you should not dunk your keys in your margarita and expect it to keep working?

D and I stopped off at Gloria's after work and for whatever reason, I decided to move my keys from one spot to another and well, I dropped them right in my drink along the way. And no, when this happened, I had only consumed one. It spent mere seconds in the sugary concoction, yet it would seem sugar, alcohol and electronics just do not mesh. It even spent the night opened up to dry out.

So now I have to lock my car the hard way (oh the humanity). I called VW to ask about replacing it. Wow. So it would be $65 to replace the part, not the end of the world, really. Aha, but then it's another $85-100 to reprogram it. Nice. I said thank you, I think I'll continue to just stick the key in the door to lock it.

So let's all remember: keys are not for margarita dunking.

Other than that, I've kept busy with a little reading. I read one of my dad's recommendations, The Likeness by Tana French. It has a borderline-ridiculous premise and yet it's really well written and pulls it off.



I didn't realize it was a follow-up to a previous detective novel, but it really doesn't matter in order to read this one.

And in an apparently drastic change, I'm now reading Daniel Pinchbeck's disturbingly interesting 2012: The Return of Quetzalcoatl (thanks for the article, dad!). Oh my. I'm not that far into it, and it's far more intriguing than I expected it. I was ready for it to be woo-woo crazy and unintentionally funny. But so far it's really descriptive of other cultures' takes on the passage of time (not really addressing the End of the World just yet), all heavily peppered (almost saturated, really) with Pinchbeck's psychedelic experimentations.

Honey, I want to go through a Bwiti tribe initiation and take iboga. Maybe next year. (Just kidding, mom.)

Either way, I really recommend both. The former for the gripping story, the latter for being...well, interesting just doesn't cut it, let's put it that way.

During the conversation, an awkward moment occurred.

I know, I suck for letting more than a week go by. I have no idea what the hell I was doing with my time, either.

I finally caught up on movies and TV this weekend. Watched an ungodly amount of 24, so now I can pick up with the new eps Tivo saved for me.

Sunday was mostly movies...I finally watched Frozen River.




Melissa Leo was up for an Oscar. Um. Great performance but I really cannot recall the last movie I saw that was quite this depressing. To be fair, I haven't watched The Changeling yet, so we'll see what it brings.

Also watched The Visitor, whose Richard Jenkins was also up for an Academy Award. Now while it may not have been wholly upbeat, it was still really great. Great music (which was a large part of the plot), great story, I absolutely recommend that one.



It really got me thinking, actually, about movies where music not only features prominently in the film but is almost as amazing as the story itself. No biopics or musicals, but things like The Commitments, Once, Bandits (German), etc. Does anyone have any favorites?

I also polished off the last half of The Starter Wife--it was a miniseries but now it's a regular series, I think?--which was decent. It has some really awkward writing but also some really great lines. It was interesting enough and I was more than happy to watch.

On the other hand, we had Ghost Town. Everyone said it was tripe but that Ricky Gervais transcended the material and made it worth watching. Now you know I love me some Ricky Gervais; infact, he was just on The Daily Show and that was great. But the movie was tedious at best. Thank god I was working on some scans and was distracted--and I still found it awful. PASS.

Very little else to mention. I have some great stuff I've been reading that I'll have to get to later...I also need to polish off Watchmen since it comes out in just a couple of days!

Oh, PAUSE, wait, she still has it! I'm in the corner at the Flying Saucer cause they have an outlet over here it only took me eight years to find, and this dude comes over and asks, "Do you come here often to work on writing with a skirt and pumps?" gesturing to my computer. The way he asked it lead me to believe he was trying to pin me down, like he thought he knew me, but it became apparent he was just making awkward conversation.

Even weirder, he looked WAY too much like my brother-in-law. So wrong. And one side of my nose is stuffed all to hell, my hair is raked back in a greasy ponytail and I could not look any less inviting. I was as polite as humanly possible while he puttered on about weird things coming out of his mouth and how cute I was from the waist up (but then the skirt and pumps apparently made it more...you know, I kinda tuned out, this man really was one of the more awkward ones I've ever run across), but I really just wanted him to go away and he finally did.

On the one hand, I get irritated and think how this never happened when I was single, but on the other, even if I was single, none of these people have ever made me want to sit down and have an actual drink with them.

Final question for twenty million rupees, and he's smiling. I guess you know the answer.

Here we go...the final award...Best Picture...here's hoping...



Whew! Of the five, I really do think it's the winner. I'm glad it won.

I'm looking for corny in my life.

Best Actor...Ok, this is probably the only category with any real tension. Even that feels forced. We all know it's going to be Mickey Rourke, yet people keep pretending Sean Penn could snake it. And that would be fine, I really did enjoy Penn as Harvey Milk. It's just not gonna happen.

SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! Sean Penn!!!!!!!!!!!!



Wow. Fuck! That's really awesome, I'm so fucking tickled, I totally admit it. I seriously don't think anyone genuinely saw that coming.

I know. It doesn't make any sense. That's why I trust it.

Best Director...Danny Boyle for Slumdog! Big fat score all around!

Best Actress...let's see if it's my girl! Marion Cotillard is reading her nomination, surely a good sign...god, Kate's already losing it!



Meryl could really steal it...I mean, it's Meryl Streep, you know? 15 nominations!

Sigh, I think Nicole's daughter is still picking out her dresses...fail.

YES!!! It's Kate!!

Great speech, however melodramatic. Loved the dad whistle.

You know what else you should do? Nail his penis above the entrance to the elementary school. That'd really teach him a lesson.

Best Original Score...again, I'm gonna go with Slumdog...I really did love the music in this film...sweet! Another Slumdog win!

Best Original Song...seriously, I'm glad they don't make us sit through all of them anymore. (Or at least, not the whole song.) I'm going for Slumdog, but Wall-E could snake it...sweet! Not only did I guess the right movie, but it was up for 2 songs and I chose "Jai Ho" (the end credits song, very energetic) and it won!

Best Foreign Film...I'm voting for Waltz With Bashir...fuck!! It went to Departures from Japan! Hmph. Oh well, I'm sure it's a great film! (Cute speech, in any case!)

Ok, it's down to the final four. Thank god, I'm full of nibbles and getting tired. Getting old, you know...

They locked me up for being out with you, so I jumped out of the window, climbed over a fence, crossed the deepest river in England and here I am!

Best Visual Effects...I went with Button on this...and another win for me!

Best Sound Editing...I guessed Slumdog...wow, The Dark Knight! Certainly a well-deserved award!

Best Sound Mixing...again, I went with Slumdog...score! Got that one!

Mmm, editing. Certainly something I love! Best Editing...hooray! Another Slumdog win and a win for my predictions!

It's coming! I will make my own tension! God, it's not even tension, it's one of the surest categories...ok, it's just an excuse to post delicious Kate pics. Sue me.

I know what ice fishing is!

Best Supporting Actor...uh oh. This is going to be A Moment.



I'm going with the obvious choice.

And indeed, it goes to Heath Ledger. Apparently, unlike the Golden Globes (where director Christopher Nolan accepted), his entire family is going to accept the award. (God, everyone in the crowd looks like they are seriously about to lose it.)

Best Feature-Length Documentary...

Ok, I love me some Herzog but that film (Encounters at the End of the World) just did not do it for me. I'm going for Man On Wire here, call me crazy...

Bill Maher presenting?? Um, ok! Ah, oh yes, his film was a "documentary." Hmm. That's for another post, but anyhoo...

SCORE!! Man On Wire wins--she lands another one!

Best Documentary Short...ok, I had NO idea about this category...and whoops, Smile Pinki, got that one wrong! I wish I could have been able to see these!!

You can't be a proper writer without a touch of madness, can you?

Oooh, they are showing Nathan Fillion's new show's trailer (Castle) while I'm drinking...like I wasn't going to watch it anyway. Mmm. Central Market pinwheel cheese and Nathan Fillion...what was I watching, again?

Ok. Hugh is singing and dancing. I assume this is where they make us suffer through the musical numbers? Potty break, brb!

Wow, I think that Chicago-style sequined number with fringe that Beyonce's donning is totally on some private bucket list of mine somewhere...I may need to work out and learn how to dance first, ya think? (Sorry, no pictures, eating cheese. Priorities, dude.)

I am rapidly failing to recognize so many of these people...I am officially getting too old.

Ooh, trailer for a terrible flick with my girlfriend Sandra Bullock, my husband's boyfriend Ryan Reynolds, her name is Margaret, the trailer's got a Katy Perry song, it comes out in June...could it scream out for me any more? It will certainly require a lot of alcohol...something horrid called The Proposal. Sigh.

The last thing I need is another picture of me looking like a porcelain doll.

Oooh! Live action short!!! Here we go! I have a bad feeling it's Toyland...but I am rooting for anything else, mainly New Boy.

Yup, I called it! No one can resist a Holocaust short. Honestly, I really thought many of the others were more creative, but I don't mean to be callous and tacky by suggesting I wouldn't give the Oscar to the Holocaust short...ok, awkward...moving on.

And it's coming...Kate time is approaching...

You look like you work in a Hasidic meth lab.

Best line all night. (Also my break away from Kate Winslet lines.)

Best Cinematographer...I'm going with Slumdog? HOORAY, it sure is!

Bourdain would like to weigh in on how pumped he is as to who wins what...



omfg, we just broke out the cheddar garlic pinwheel...baaaaaaby!

If I wasn't such a bad woman on the page, I couldn't be such a good woman in life.

Art Direction...Benjamin Button! Ellen Aim is on a winning streak tonight! That's 5 out of 6, woot! (Since you know I don't want to see the film, you can correctly assume my joy is only for my accuracy in guessing the winner.)

Ok, costume design, let's see...I'm betting on the Button again...wow, The Duchess! I don't even remember that one, but it's nice to see the underdogs win, always always. Oh, I already love this guy...the first thing Michael O'Connor did was thank Rachel Portman for her music!

Make-up Artist...again, I went with Button, and there are only 3 contenders (I never understand that, when you know there should be more). Yup, got that one right. Meh.

Gads, the teen idols take the stage...someone needs to tell Robert Pattinson that unless you CAN grow a beard, please don't try, especially at the Academy Awards. *facepalm*

Can the soul be really be satisfied with such polite affections?

Best Original Screenplay...I said Wall-E, but I'm rooting for In Bruges...

Wowzers, it's Milk! I like surprises...even if McDonagh's writing was better. Aw, damn, Dustin Lance Black's speech is poignant, five points.

Best Adapted Screenplay...this HAS to be Slumdog...

And it is! The night looks promising...

Best Animated Feature Film...poor non-Pixar contenders...

Yup, Wall-E, no brainer. Next.

Oooh, animated short film! Please don't let it be Pixar again...

Judging by the applause, no one has seen ANY of these, jesus.

YES!! YES!! YES!! My favorite short WON! La Maison en Petits Cubes! And how cute...the company that produced it is called Robot, so he got to say, "Domo arrigato, Mr. Roboto." Wink.

I'M not! I'M going to The Fourth World... it's sort of like heaven. Only better, because there aren't any Christians!

Well I really like the stage...it honestly looks drastically different tonight.





Um...interesting opening number...though the Anne Hathaway bit was cute. He at least had the charisma and energy to make it watchable!




Hugh Jackman said they have a 7 second delay, but if Rourke wins they switch to a 20 minute delay!

All right, best supporting actress! This is a really different approach they're doing--five actress introducing all the nominees? We'll be here til ONE AM...as long as they don't start handing them out in the balconies again, jeez that was weird...omfg, as Go Fug Yourself might say, Goldie Hawn's nipples seem to be headed for the open bar.

PENELOPE CRUZ!! SCORE ONE FOR ELLEN AIM!!

What's this? Paper hats, how useful!

I bring you...my obligatory Diane Lane shot. Because I can. It is an awful shame about the thing growing on her husband's face, I hope it clears up soon.



I am slightly older than some, so I really don't have an opinion on Miley Cyrus. So far all I know is that I like her best when she's not talking and that this dress is fucking unreal gorgeous. It looks quite heavy up close with all those sequins, but worth it. I'm torn between it and Kate Winslet's dress for a favorite.




Poor Anne Hathaway. Next time, sweetie.

Affairs are much more exciting than marriages...as mummy can testify.

You must excuse the horrid quality, but there will be better pics by real people tomorrow...but Winslet's dress is totally the stunner of the night...







This is pre-red carpet stuff, so it's not HD yet.

Sweet, Tim Gunn is doing the actual red carpet stuff! Ha ha, that's awesome.

Only the best people fight against all obstacles in pursuit of happiness.

One of my dates, Michael Sheen, looks totally stoned. Why not.



This was the brief moment before they shrank him down to the corner of the screen because I guess no one here knows who he is? Underworld series be damned. (They do sort of SUCK...)

Aside: I hope and pray for the death of Ryan Seacrest.

I really love the entire cast of Slumdog; it's so refreshing to see people who are genuinely tickled to be there. And Danny Boyle seems wicked cool, as always.



Also, Amy Adams continues to be so cute, I'm even digging her necklace.



And right now, Mickey Rourke is totally trying not to lose it in front of Barbara Walters. Let's see if he keeps it together at the podium...

I'm Clementine... No jokes about my name.

Who's the dork who physically moved the computer into the same room as the TV, all set to rock and roll? Yeah, that's right, I really am that big of a dork. Yes.

I've got a nice wine from Napa Valley, various snackies from Central Market...I am so set. It's a shame none of the categories are very close. I used to want Anne Hathaway to win tonight...



...but there's just no chance. Plus, having now viewed both films, I'm quite happy to let that one go!

Aside from the shorts, I can't say I'm really waiting for any category. It would be so delightful for In Bruges to win original screenplay, but I have a bad feeling Wall-E will. Grr..

And Happy 700th Post to me!!

Jack, I want you to draw me like one of your French girls.

So yes, The Reader was great, I really enjoyed it.



The first half was all, you know, steamy and sultry...



...and then bam, it gets all serious. Which was fine, honestly. I just wish it had addressed the issues that rose (this could be anything from a sex pun to a Titanic pun, but moving on) more than it did. Overall, I enjoyed it muchly.

Part of me is glad Winslet did so well in this role, because otherwise it's very much in danger of being yet another Oscar nod for taking it off. It's bad enough everyone won't shut up about how wonderful Winslet is when some of us have been rabid (well, almost rabid) fans since Heavenly Creatures back in 1994. It really sort of reeks of everyone secretly going, "God, you are obviously so comfortable being so naked and we really respect that."

I mean, come on, this is her SIXTH OSCAR NOMINATION. Where THE HELL have these people been?

Anyhoo. Also finally watched Slumdog Millionaire.



It definitely has some tough scenes, but considering the (well-known, no spoilers here!) upbeat finale and bitchin' soundtrack, it's not too painful. Really great movie--from the music to the editing to the acting to the way the story unfolds, I will be perfectly happy if it wins.

And for the first time in...shit, hang on, I gotta look...ok, not since 1993 have I not seen all the Best Picture nominees. That year I hadn't seen Remains of the Day or In the Name of the Father. (No reason, I just hadn't. I was 13, sue me!) But I am actively choosing not to watch Benjamin Button. And I certainly enjoy Brad Pitt most of the time, it's just that I hate Forrest Gump or anything of its ilk with such intensity that I refuse to be subjected to another THREE HOUR film that could even vaguely remind me of that insipid shit.

Red carpet shenanigans start at 5! Since I'm not really all that into and/or worried about most of the categories this year, I'll be keeping a look out for some gorgeous frocks...



Here's hoping she pulls another dress out like this one, since she finally gets to win!

I would go to the beach and people would kick copies of Byron in my face!

So Robin Williams was fabulous. Hysterical as always, just don't ask me what he talked about! That was 90 minutes of straight nuclear-level energy and I don't know if I saw the man take a breath. Even when he'd take a drink of water you'd still be catching up and then it kept right on going. Very impressive and damn funny, it wore me out.

Spent the better part of the day at the Magnolia yesterday (shudder) and it got so crowded by evening that I opted for dinner rather than a 7.50 Slumdog Millionaire, which I'll knock out today. But I saw all the shorts, animated and live action, and The Reader.

I wish I had done some online research first, because you can watch 4/5 of the animated shorts for free here. LOVE the Oktapodi one, but my favorite, as noted: Absent is the Japanese/French “La Maison en Petits Cubes” directed by Kunio Kato. That's the one I hope wins. And from what I can tell, that one is not to be had on the net. (You can find a clip, at least.)

I have a bad feeling, however, that since a Pixar short has been nominated (Presto, which we all saw in front of Wall-E) that it's going to snag it...and that just sucks. You know I love Pixar but I like the idea that the shorts category can be a place for first-timers, amateurs or lesser-knowns. Maybe everyone else will vote that way, too.

On the plus side, not only did I get to see “La Maison en Petits Cubes” but they had 5 more shorts, "highly commended," to round out the time to something worth paying for!

I really enjoyed all 5 live action shorts. I think the only way to watch these is on itunes, all ranging from $0.99-1.99 each...

On the Line: Really enjoyed, but the ending left me dissatisfied.

Manon on the Asphalt: TOTALLY FUCKING DEPRESSING, right up my alley and I really liked it.

Toyland: also depressing but very heavily-visited material, so it was my least favorite (but still great).

Pig: One of my top three and it reminded me of something my dad would really like. It was very European.

New Boy: To me, the clear winner. An Irish short based on a Roddy Doyle short story. Cute and funny, my pick.

I'll have to talk about The Reader later. I really liked it, it raised some amazing questions and arguments, but then totally failed to really address them. Wtf. But for now must shower and hit the theater!

Oh I see, so you're going to a cemetery with your toothbrush. How Egyptian.

I thought this was totally cute: Alex sent me a link about Northern Ireland's worst driver.

The cram is on. I've got The Visitor, The Changeling and Frozen River at home, plus I need to go see Slumdog, Doubt and The Reader. It's on, baby. I like pressure.

But tonight is all about relaxing with some Robin Williams. Someone who likes to swear almost as much as I do!

Last night I got a pedicure...though I have really never been one for pedicures, this was SO NICE. 50 minutes of lavender rose treatment--scrub salts for legs and feet, hot stone treatment, it was too damn nice. I listened to the entire new Lily Allen album while that was being done, and of course the chair itself is a massage chair.

So it was okay I guess. ;)

But I'm irritated that Lily Allen's recent tour doesn't seem to include Texas. We're not THAT scary, right? Oh well.

Your ass is ringing.

Hooray! Tomorrow evening is Robin Williams and I'm SO EXCITED.



I hope he's funny...I mean, the man is borderline neurotic and has an insane energy the likes of which I've rarely seen. Doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be a hysterical show. But here's hoping--he has certainly managed to crack me up in the past! We totally have (expensive!) nosebleed seats, but it's kinda like when I was really poor and Simon & Garfunkel came to town...I'll take what I can get!



And just for a healthy dose of geek, a new episode of both BSG and Dollhouse will be waiting for us when we get home!! I suddenly wish I had been paying better attention to all the mythology on BSG...and Dollhouse needs to bring a little more to the table, if you ask me, but as always, the pilot gets a ton of leeway.

Otherwise, it's been a pretty dull week. Oscars are coming up and I need to knock a few out this evening, but not sure I'm feeling it. Tomorrow night may be a Magnolia fest of shorts, but must see The Reader and Slumdog by Sunday. Fuck you, Button. Maybe if I'm feeling really at peace with the world, I'll give it a go.

I'm pathetically behind on my film reviews, so it would be very wise to take these films on. Wise I am not. Lazy and impulsive, yes.

Completely unrelated to anything, I bought the new Lily Allen CD. I really like it. It doesn't seem as dark and edgy as her first, it's far poppier and some tracks are kinda obvious and less creative, but they're still fun.

Even more unrelated, my friend B. just emailed me this, it's fantastic...

Ben & Jerry created "Yes Pecan!" ice cream flavor for Obama.
>>
>> They then asked people to fill in the blank to the following:
>>
>> For George W. they created "_________".
>>
>>
>> Here are some of their favorite responses:
>>
>> - Grape Depression
>>
>> - Abu Grape
>>
>> - Cluster Fudge
>>
>> - Nut'n Accomplished
>>
>> - Iraqi Road
>>
>> - Chock 'n Awe
>>
>> - WireTapioca
>>
>> - Impeach Cobbler
>>
>> - Guantanmallow
>>
>> - imPeachmint
>>
>> - Good Riddance You Lousy Motherfucker... Swirl
>>
>> - Heck of a Job, Brownie!
>>
>> - Neocon Politan
>>
>> - RockyRoad to Fascism
>>
>> - The Reese's-cession
>>
>> - Cookie D'oh!
>>
>> - The Housing Crunch
>>
>> - Nougalar Proliferation
>>
>> - Death by Chocolate... and Torture
>>
>> - Credit Crunch
>>
>> - Country Pumpkin
>>
>> - Chunky Monkey in Chief
>>
>> - George Bush Doesn't Care About Dark Chocolate
>>
>> - WM Delicious
>>
>> - Chocolate Chimp
>>
>> - Bloody Sundae
>>
>> - Caramel Preemptive Stripe
>>
>> - I broke the law and am responsible for the deaths of thousands...with
>> nuts

How did you get past security with those dangerous brown eyes?

Ok, sorry. I know I had that freaky man's face up here for way too long. Even I was starting to not like coming here.



So I watched Vicky Cristina Barcelona. I'm torn. I really thought I was going to loathe it, and I kinda did loathe most of the characters. As far as recent Woody Allen goes, it's fine. The two female leads, Rebecca Hall and Scarlett Johansson play fairly lame stereotypes (I'm not knocking the acting...yet), but the former is more interesting. The latter...one-fourth of it is ScarJo's deteriorating acting skills and the rest is a truly pretentious and annoying character.

As Alex so brilliantly put it, more and more she's playing the sorts of characters Lost In Translation's Charlotte would have made fun of. So. True.

The film itself was sort of a pretty train wreck. I did enjoy Vicky's dilemma (trite though it may have been) and the scenery and music made the time pass nicely. But the end especially was just this anti-climatic (which I can normally handle) petering out that sealed its lameness. I don't mean to knock the movie too much, because I never wanted to turn it off and I was certainly compelled to continue. I just wouldn't watch it again.

And Penelope Cruz?



I'm still not on that fan boat yet and this role irritates me that it's even nominated. It's JUST LIKE Marisa Tomei's Wrestler nomination: really? Whereas the Tomei is getting nominated for strutting about topless, I can only guess PC is getting the nod for making out with ScarJo in a darkroom. It's really frustrating. Tomei and Cruz are certainly two talented actresses but give me a fucking break.

(Sure enough, I go online to dig up shots from the film and too many fanboys have, what, taken pictures of their TVs and posted these uber-grainy close-ups of The Kiss. *facepalm*)

But kudos to Javier Bardem.



To be able to do No Country For Old Men and this and be 100% believable as either the scariest motherfucker to walk the earth or the dark, sexy Spanish seducer? That's some talent. (Though in fairness, his No Country haircut really did deserve a large chunk of that Oscar statue...)

Well, Oscars are this weekend and it's really not looking good for my having seen everything. I can't help it. The nominations this year are easily the dullest in years. I just can't be motivated to care. I'm still working on it, though...we'll see.

Good day to ya, pusscake.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

Why would the courtesan go for the penniless writer? Whoops. I mean sitar player.

Put up a note?! "Highly classified shit found?"

As tedious as my week has been, I am pretty excited that today is already Thursday. At least I think it is.

I really hate Valentine's Day, regardless of relationship status, and always have. It's commercial bullshit I refuse to buy into. We typically do something like cook dinner or...well, there was that one time we snuck over to the neighboring golf course and took pictures of each other slathered in fake blood. That was fun.

This year I was thinking of taking D to see Zombie Dearest at the Pocket Sandwich Theatre. They do these fabulous melodramas (myself a former castmate of one) where the audience is fed food and beer and given popcorn to throw at the bad guys and weirdos. (I was a weirdo.) But I called last Monday and it's already sold out! Wah!! Stupid Dallas bastards trying to copy my fantastic V-Day plans. Shah.

So my impulse is to go nowhere. I mean, everyone and their dog is going to be out--it'll be worse than New Year's. And you know how I feel about people.

Ok, back to applying for financial aid. Oops, I mean, uh, "working." Yes, that's it.

You need to be less....offputting.

I haven't heard this song in AGES but it started going through my head today. (Uh, no idea why...ok, maybe I've gotten too comfortable lately...)

Bite Sized Goodness: Violent Femmes, Fat

Then that Cobain pussy had to come around and ruin it all.

So I did get to watch The Wrestler the other day, and it was quite good! It's definitely a great role for Mickey Rourke and despite how much I loved Sean Penn in Milk, I don't really mind that Rourke will probably snake the statue.



It actually reminded me of Milk at first (that's right, I just compared Milk and The Wrestler, how awesome is that) in that both directors typically do really artistically driven films (like, PAINFULLY SO sometimes), but these are pretty straightforward in their style and pace. The difference for me here, however, is that I really don't know a damn thing about the topic (i.e., wrestling).

As the hubby used to enjoy it as a teenager, I had to ask him after, "Is wrestling usually that bloody?" I knew it was very showy, fake and crazy, but I guess I just never saw bloody moments before. It was pretty impressive. So whole new world for me, and I really don't need to see more. But the movie was very well done.

Though I do have one question.



Really? Oscar nomination?

I mean, she's totally cute and I'd take her rack any day, but if we're handing out nominations for cuteness and/or hot tits, I've got to rethink my entire list.

Seriously, I kept waiting for her role to BE MORE. No.

I really enjoy Marisa Tomei, but when you think about her last Oscar win for My Cousin Vinny, it's mind boggling. Actually, it's kind of insulting. I mean, same category and everything! Wtf?

And speaking of watching movies for Oscars, I finally bit the bullet and watched Tropic Thunder last night. It should be noted that I was drinking vodka and cooking while I watched it, but it was much funnier than I expected.



Everyone goes on about what a great cameo Tom Cruise has, but I honestly found Matthew McConaughey's turn much funnier. Though I honestly believe Tom should only do non-publicized roles from now on. It's the only cure to his overexposure.

And Robert Downey, Jr. playing a black man was not the offensive monstrosity I feared it might be. It was actually really clever, since the "token black man" is offensive as it is. And they do still make fun of themselves later anyway.



Again, you know I love me some Robert Downey, Jr. but I'm really not thinking Oscar. (That category is basically canceled this year anyway, with all the Heath Ledger drama, so it's not about to come up.) I just hate it when actors do incredible work and then they get nominated or win for some totally phoned in shlock (ok, that's not the case here, I admit I'm totally talking to you, Nicole Kidman). Anyhoo.

But overall, I definitely laughed in a few places I wasn't expecting, but I also recommend drinking and barely paying attention.

More Oscar watching to go; The Magnolia is showing ALL the shorts and goddammit I am really going this year. Really really really. Really.

Bite Sized Goodness: Oscars, Mickey Rourke, Marisa Tomei, The Wrestler, Milk, Tropic Thunder, Robert Downey Jr.

I don't know you very well, you know, but I wanted to ask you - how'd you get Diane Court to go out with you?

Happy Birthday, silly goose!

I hope since the last time we talked that your days have been consistently happier. Getting a new job shouldn't be as intensely gruesome as it often is, especially with a resume like yours. Things will work out, if they haven't already, but at the very least here's hoping you have a great birthday.



I've actually been up fairly early this morning thanks to those incredible winds last night, so I got an early start on a recipe from Fine Cooking...they did a spread on carrot cake--traditional classic vs. updated innovation. And the newer ones look cute and all, but they are made into serving sizes and don't have icing. With carrot cake? Honey, no. Carrot cake is all about the frosting. Speaking of which, time to go lick the beaters. (And here's hoping I remember to turn them off first...)

Bite Sized Goodness: Sarah McLachlan, carrot cake, Say Anything

This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat.

I am so proud of myself. Yesterday I got my tires rotated like someone who actually takes care of her car. One of the little plastic valves had been recalled, so they took care of that as well. And then I paid someone else to clean the hell out of him. Hans is gorgeous and shiny now, like a new toy.

You're going to think I'm very silly, but I saw Cats! again last night. WHAT? I know. But I felt bad for having assumed D wouldn't like it, so I very whimsically grabbed him and we got to Bass Performance Hall by 730 (curtain at 8), not knowing if they even had seats. It turns out they had 2 sets of paired seats and which would we like? The ones on the 4th level? Or the ones in the orchestra box? Yeah, oh yeah, you know where we sat.

And holy shit! It was a whole new show! It makes me sad to say this, honestly, but so much gets lost the minute you leave the orchestra area. For this show, anyway. I could see detail and movement I had no idea existed; the show opened in darkness with cats in the aisles who had (electric) bright green eyes--totally missed that the other night.

And my tickets were actually cheaper than the other night because I didn't have to pay those stupid fees. And D very much enjoyed the show. I thought one of his favorites would be Mungojerry and Rumpleteazer and sure enough...

Afterwards, we went across the street for dinner at Ferre, an Italian place I've been quite curious about. I had the Sweet Potato Gnocchi (consisting of apple wood bacon, shallots, baby portabellas, filet of beef and cream--sans mushrooms because blech) and there really are few things as toe-curling savory as handmade pasta. Especially with red wine...I lingered to the point where the waiter tried to take my plate! Grr. I hope the bite marks on his hand heal.

Dessert was the Hot Chocolate Cherry Tart (dark chocolate and tart cherries topped with house-made crumble and served with vanilla gelato)--not quite what I imagined but happy warm deliciousness, in any case.

And now it's off to see The Wrestler! Finally starting to hack away at the Oscar nominations...

Bite Sized Goodness: Cats musical, Ferre, best Italian Fort Worth, downtown Fort Worth, handmade pasta

I'm too young for 'A Chorus Line' and too happy for 'Les Miz.'

What a great night! There was everything from sparkling rhinestones to classic douchebaggery, what more can one ask?



First of all, since I went by myself, I had a box seat! That was very cool. Sadly, there were seven other people in my box. There was another single girl, and she and I were equally appreciative of the show and performances, but the other six people? No applause til the end, no laughter...why are you HERE? And all those seats are the same price, but the other girl and I were the two seats at the back of the box. Figures.

I was wrong to knock Cats!, it's really a lot of fun. It kicks off with all these Christmas lights strung up around the audience tiers and stage, very showy. I kept wishing I could have taken Fiona--I think she's at an age where she could sit still for it, possibly? It's just so showy and fun.

Before it began, they did their announcements, one of which was, "Candy wrappers are very distracting to the audience members around you, so if you really must eat candy during this show, please do so with the wrapper on." Word.

The whole thing was very enjoyable, but the Rum Tug Tugger was again a show stealer; he plucked a woman from the second row and tangoed down the aisle. Mr. Mistoffelees was a close second; honey, when I'm a Cat, I want to be the one decked out in a rhinestone outfit. Good thing his number's near the end, he's almost distracting when amongst the others.

After the show, I went across the street to the Flying Saucer (I actually didn't go beforehand) to meet my friend S., who was needing to take a break from her school projects. She was running late due to an accident in Arlington, so I sat at a table and read my book. Cue tipsy moron. (This is why I usually have my laptop...it's much easier to look busy and it's a great excuse why you can't talk...try that with a book, it's far less effective.)

First of all, he asks what I'm reading. I show him and of course he has no idea. He notices my Cats! program and proceeds to tell me how he saw it on Broadway but didn't like it, saying it was very disappointing considering how famous it was. I just said I didn't think it should be taken too seriously and that the nostalgia factor may help.

While I'm praying for S. to walk in the door, this dude sits himself down at my table. And then of course the waitress comes over and takes both our drink orders. I cannot be rude, but I know S. can be if I need her to. Luckily, she arrives moments later (wondering who in the hell has seated himself at my table) and can tell when I have to introduce myself with my fake name (which had yet to happen) where this is headed.

He proceeds to discuss the origins of our names (my fake name is S.'s real name) and S. totally ignores him while checking her phone. I think I noticeably glaze over. She and I attempt to talk about work around him, though I try not to be too rude. Finally, douchebag pays for his drink and leaves. WTF?

Aside from that, it was a great night. I had one beer and a big fat pretzel, so it was an altogether very pleasant evening.

Except for the part where I parked on the 5th floor of the garage. I parked by the stairs (no elevator on that side), so I had to haul my ass up five flights to get home. That sucked.

The person who touches the most celebrity ass without them knowing wins.

I'm totally stealing this from Julie Gong's blog, it's too damn funny.

"David After the Dentist"

Grrrl, you like to fingerbang and that's all right!

It really feels like Friday because it is !!GORGEOUS!! outside the way that should only be allowed on Fridays. And tonight is Cats! I always liked Macavity...



Um. Is it just me, or does it look like I'm going to a KISS concert?

Here, wait.



That's a little better? Right? Whatever, I'm going to have a blast. And yes, I'm having beers first. Oh god yes. But it will be so fun. And yes, Alex, the more I think about it, you are totally right and we did see it years ago. Thank God the Rum Tum Tugger ran up the aisle cause yeah, that's mostly all I recall. Show stealer.

Speaking of show, I plowed through quite a bit of season 2 Project Runway last night; I'm loathing Santino like I'm clearly supposed to. I want to hope it's edited to make him appear like a bastard, but even editing can't explain the shit that comes out of his mouth. Totally excited for him to get kicked off, hope it's soon...

It's hard to talk about my feelings. Plus I'm high most of the time, so there's that.

Applying for financial aid is so much fun! I did get that last form taken care of (for application) for a school waiting to reject me...got it faxed in by a GODDESS at the UNT registrar's office at 4.22pm this past Friday. I may have offered to bear her children. (I did not. Offer, that is.)

Anyhoo. As Michael Keaton says in The Paper, "Sometimes you can just smell a horrendously shitty day on the way." And that is my day today.

Thank God I have the first 2 discs of Project Runway Season 2 arriving today. Because where would I be without my piffle. Also have the final disc of BSG and can then start whacking away at my saved new eps on Tivo, squee! As awesome as Baltar is--rare is the sleazebag you kinda root for--I have been vacillating between patience and loathing.

If you also looked at my queue, you'd see I also have Tropic Thunder (a mix of Oscar and Robert Downey, Jr. duty) though I expect to need several beers beforehand and still detest it. Also, The Wedding Date because A) I have no shame and B) I am having Debra Messing withdrawal, even though I mostly watched Will & Grace for Will's shoulders and Karen.

To assure you that my brain has not completely turned to mush (side note, this commercial is AWESOME, thanks Alex!), I did visit the Dallas Museum of Art this past weekend with my family and loved the new exhibit, Olafur Eliasson's Take Your Time. Their big exhibit right now is actually (the same goddamn) King Tut exhibit I swear is ALWAYS THERE or the Kimball, but this was far more impressive.



At the end of this tunnel was a brilliant YELLOW room and all the people around you appear as if they are black and white. (!!) A separate exhibit below...



This is a (nearly) 360 degrees of a screen that changes colors and changes the way the colors change. If that makes sense. Very cool.

If you live in the DFW area, I cannot recommend it strongly enough. If you have access to pot beforehand, again, I cannot recommend it strongly enough.

Anyhoo, I had a ton of fun and really need to do that (with my family, especially) more often. I am the lame, inactive sort who prefers to stay home and watch movies on my laptop while cooking (and perhaps sipping on something). 24 is most excellent for this--minimum concentration required. Just finished season 5, good stuff.

Look... it could be worse, you could have been Riki Zuela.

Almost forgot to make a post today...I can't believe today is the 50th anniversary of the plane crash...my dad sent me this link about an item that I really don't think I could sell if I did own it...

This is great. "No matter what you think about rock'n'roll..." And I want to be a rock'n'roll specialist!

O Frith on the hills! He made it all for us!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FIONA!! I can't believe you're 7 already! Here are two videos for you...the first is Totoro's birthday (it's a little strange!) and the second is a kitty wishing you Happy Birthday as well!



This is pretty cute...



Miss you! Hope you have a great birthday and I hope to see you soon! Your mother mentioned a gingerbread house...I'm jealous!