If she calls, just be gentle, you know? Like you're really happy to hear from her. Like you miss her. Women love that shit.

I switched over to ABC from E! because why would you watch E! when you can watch Tim Gunn? Nina Garcia is co-hosting and it's weird. First of all, this sort of hosting gig is really not her niche. Also, I think someone slipped her some Valium? She's talking S L O W L Y. (And since I started writing this twenty minutes ago or so, she seems to have just disappeared altogether?)

Anyhoo, Tina is looking pretty great. Rock it, girl.



And JLo is seriously smokin' in this, but again, isn't this a variation on something Beyonce already wore that was green? Whatever, at least the girls seem to be secure.



Ugh, somehow Brad's hair is managing to look greasy but soft all at the same time. Ultimately, I just desperately want him to cut it.



Ok, Sandy, I sort of hate you a little bit for being in that appalling turd of a sorry fucking excuse for a film, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. And I do not love this dress--I sort of want to, but...I can't pretend it's not dumpy. However, the back is super low and swoopy, so that part is awesome.



Y'ALL! STOP SWOONING OVER THIS DRESS! This is, quite frankly, a fucking ugly dress. I respect the coral color, but it's just...yeah, man, it's ugly. Sorry. Michelle Williams is a great actress who gives horrid interview. And the dress is just not working for me.

I love how everyone is sort of hoping and demanding Billy Crystal does his old-school mega-musical-production like he used to. Amen!

It is something pretty spectacular to be able to pull off gold metallic. And I think, as we're all aware, Meryl can do anything.



And more importantly, who keeps inviting Gwyneth?