Shouldn't you be holding the crucifix? It is THE prop for martyrs.

I believe the phrase I am looking for is "pissing down snow."

Super pretty, though.

Trying to figure out a time slot for a grueling interview for a legal job I don't want that pays less than a management position in retail. HIGH! FIVE!

Ready for beach now, please.

And nobody's going to tell him how to run his unit--least of all the Harvard mouth in his faggoty white uniform.

And it's The Artist!



Yay! I'm not tremendously excited either way, it was cute and a good film...but none of the films nominated really seem to be of the sort that will stand the test of time, in my opinion.

Regardless, it was a solid and good (if uber-safe) Oscar show. Billy Crystal again next year, please.

Good-night, y'all.

No! He covets. That is his nature. And how do we begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things to covet? Make an effort to answer now.

I think there is an inner-circle drinking game going on where everyone drinks when someone says "Scorsese"?? I love confusing introduction segments.

I thought this was a neat shot. GEORGE!



Ok, y'all. I think Gaz has about a mouse fart's chance in hell of winning. But nonetheless, I am glad he was nominated. How APPALLING, really, that this is his first. :/ The man has been my very favorite actor for probably about fifteen years.



Having said that, I do actually really hope Jean Dujardin wins. I'm telling you, his facial expressions are just great.

And he DOES! :D What a tremendous win. Once in a while, they get it right. (Sorry, Gaz.)

Leading lady time!



Rooney Mara SHOULD get it, but I think Viola Davis may be the frontrunner and Meryl Streep may be the favorite "underdog" to snake it? My bets are on Viola.

WHA?? Meryl snags it! I'm mean, don't get me wrong...it's Meryl. And she is, as always, a very lovely lady with a wonderful acceptance speech. <3

You better take a GOOD LOOK, cause I'm gettin' two things: PISSED OFF AND CURIOUS.

See? This is the unfortunate Brad hair I mentioned. Also. I do think Angelina is a stunningly beautiful woman. HOWEVER.



It's her arms. The camera adds ten pounds? REALLY? She must look like the Crypt Keeper in real life.



Also, she kept striking this pose all night, including when she took the stage to announce. The winners promptly mocked her. And rightly so.

Also, those "ashes" I mentioned earlier?



I did not lie!

Little kids will be looking under their beds - "Damien might be under there!"

The Paradise Lost series is almost assuredly single-handedly responsible for setting the West Memphis Three free.



So in all honesty, though I knew it wouldn't win, I am utterly repulsed that it should be overlooked. If there was ever a more impressive impact, a more impressive demonstration of what film can do, I simply cannot imagine one greater than this.

He died in bed? Whose bed? A prostitute?

Ok, the Cirque du Soleil number just has my mouth hanging open. HOW. Just...HOW?! I'm in pain just thinking about it.

I believe in two things: discipline and the Bible. Here you'll receive both. Put your trust in the Lord; your ass belongs to me. Welcome to Shawshank.

Hugo snags the first two, cinematography and art direction. Hmm. Ah, but The Artist comes back with costume design! I'm not feeling super-passionate about most of the categories tonight, but given my choices, I'm happy to support The Artist, particularly for Best Actor. (Even though Gary Oldman is nominated, I know, I know, what's wrong with me.)

Dammit, we still have to watch A Separation, Friend L! That was the first of only two sure wins tonight. (Christopher Plummer will be the second.)

Ohhhhhhhhhh, and Jessica Chastain is the silly blonde from The Help, in addition to being in Tree of Life. She got around this year, apparently. (I mentioned her in a lower post--she's got one of my fave dresses of the night.)

Aw yay, Octavia Spencer wins Best Supporting Actress! (I'm 3 for 3 and that one was a win.) She's all verklempt!



Great dress, too, though this photo fails to capture the detail.

Hate makes you impotent, love makes you crazy, somewhere in the middle you can survive.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. They should get Billy Crystal to host every year, it's the only time it's just right! Just the right mix of goofy puns, charm, nostalgia, and self-deprecating humor. <3

If she calls, just be gentle, you know? Like you're really happy to hear from her. Like you miss her. Women love that shit.

I switched over to ABC from E! because why would you watch E! when you can watch Tim Gunn? Nina Garcia is co-hosting and it's weird. First of all, this sort of hosting gig is really not her niche. Also, I think someone slipped her some Valium? She's talking S L O W L Y. (And since I started writing this twenty minutes ago or so, she seems to have just disappeared altogether?)

Anyhoo, Tina is looking pretty great. Rock it, girl.



And JLo is seriously smokin' in this, but again, isn't this a variation on something Beyonce already wore that was green? Whatever, at least the girls seem to be secure.



Ugh, somehow Brad's hair is managing to look greasy but soft all at the same time. Ultimately, I just desperately want him to cut it.



Ok, Sandy, I sort of hate you a little bit for being in that appalling turd of a sorry fucking excuse for a film, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. And I do not love this dress--I sort of want to, but...I can't pretend it's not dumpy. However, the back is super low and swoopy, so that part is awesome.



Y'ALL! STOP SWOONING OVER THIS DRESS! This is, quite frankly, a fucking ugly dress. I respect the coral color, but it's just...yeah, man, it's ugly. Sorry. Michelle Williams is a great actress who gives horrid interview. And the dress is just not working for me.

I love how everyone is sort of hoping and demanding Billy Crystal does his old-school mega-musical-production like he used to. Amen!

It is something pretty spectacular to be able to pull off gold metallic. And I think, as we're all aware, Meryl can do anything.



And more importantly, who keeps inviting Gwyneth?

He's the only man I know who can strut sitting down.

Oh holy jesus, Melanie Griffith looks eighty. The only explanation for this has got to be a serious shit-ton of drugs.

Ok, I have to say...Ryan Seacrest is the best sport ever. I seriously continue to loathe Sascha Baron Cohen, and I fucking cannot fathom why he is funny to people. There is nothing okay about SBC, he just comes off as a complete fucking asshole.

So I just watched him accidentally-on-purpose dump a giant urn of "ashes" all over Seacrest, who--to his immense credit--really kept his shit together and played it off totally cool even though you could pretty much feel the I WANT TO FUCKING KILL YOU coming off him in waves. Seacrest may be a complete douchebag, but way to roll with that one.

Oh, Emma. No, no, no.



Didn't Nicole totally do this dress a few years ago (probably in pink) and wasn't that when we all learned this is not a good idea?



Also not a fan of Rooney Mara's dress, however awesome SHE may be.



This is apparently Jessica Chastain from Tree of Life, which I have not been able to bring myself to watch. But fabulous dress, honey.

Who put Playboy in the bathroom?

Seriously, why is men's fashion so boring. George may have been wearing the same tux for the past eight years and I would never know. I think it's also always Armani.

I have no idea who this is (well, apparently it's Nancy O'Dell, but that still means nothing to me) but I am totally digging her dress. God knows I could never pull off yellow, but it is still totally awesome. Or rather, it would be if it were almost any other color?



And I think Shailene Woodley from The Descendants has a really unusual but flattering and classy dress that this photo simply does not capture. It looks like ass here but trust me, it works.



And don't hate me, but I'm kinda curious about Mirror, Mirror, but mostly because it looks so awful it might be kind of awesome?



I am also fairly sure that Julia Roberts is going to be straight up painful as hell.

What's your damage, Heather?

Oscar time! Keeping an eye on the live blogging over at Go Fug Yourself as well. Looking forward to DRESSES. ;)



Yes, I know Lane isn't nominated. Ask me if I care.

Staring into the Brown & Williamson building--it's dark except the 10th floor. That's the legal department. That's where they fuck with my life.

I fucking hate bitchy little ADAs. Fuck all of them. Yes, we get to "waltz in and out" of court, but our case work is far more intensive. You just have to stand up there and read a fuckin' police report (which I assure you is so scintillating for everyone) and then read someone else's recommendation, argue some law REALLY BADLY (by which I mean WRONGLY), and then be a grade-A douchebag and make me wait indefinitely because it makes you feel like a superior fuck. GOOD! JOB!

Anyway.

Driving to Rhode Island tomorrow for a job interview (the job would not be in RI) and then I am being "kidnapped" for the weekend to Vermont by Friend S & Friend L for a skiing thing. I am so very glad for those ladies. ;) I will be inside drinking, not thinking about my case, watching Oscar flicks with L, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe reading a non-law book?? Dare I say that out loud??

Also time to get on the bar review ball. :((((

And Oscars on Sunday night!! :D

We all end up in the same place. All that's left is...our wikipedia entry.

Oh my god the weekend was brutal. Actually it was equal parts excruciating and fantastic. I took part in the world's largest moot court competition and was part of the most difficult regional round, the Northeast Regional. You can guess why it sucks nuts that hard, and luckily I didn't get screwed to the wall by Harvard, Columbia, BC, Cornell, etc. We went up against four other schools with which I was less familiar, but I shall refrain from naming them.

The first round we all thought we did great but it turned out that while we had a better memorial, the scoring on the arguments (the oral part) was totally in their favor. It was surprising. Although then they won top ten memorial. WTF. A lot of the scoring felt like that. Lots of WTF. Not that we had any business making it to the final rounds, mind you.

That was some motherfucking exhausting, stressful shit, though. The first day was hard--watching two of my teammates go first and having a fairly docile bench, then going in the afternoon ourselves and (we all saw this part coming) having a relentless bench--one guy in particular clearly relished pressing things and being an all-around dick. I really didn't mind him, to be honest. Especially after what I saw the next day.

So the next day my partner E and I got the fairly nice bench--one guy really liked me and I got the highest scores all around. (Not that they were awesome scores, but still. WINNING.) Oh, and apparently I made opposing counsel cry. :/ I don't think I REALLY did--I think she made herself cry. And she's YOUNG. But I was told after our round that she was in the loo in tears. I had called her out during my round on facts she had mis-characterized (and using that word) which is a fairly diplomatic way to do it. And it wasn't even that big of a deal. Who cares? But they got up on rebuttal and tried to distinguish it...yeah, the judges were like, and how does that even help your case? They brought up two other boring points and we, in turn, simply waived sur-rebuttal. (Which is the equivalent of saying they didn't have anything worth responding to.) IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL, GIRL.

But what might have made ME cry was the following round my teammates endured. One guy, one judge, was just a flat-out asshole who clearly loathed the applicant position. He was somewhat harsh to the other side as well, but nowhere near to the extent he was with us. I have the utmost respect and admiration for both my teammates for getting through that round with grace and dignity. Even though when D sat down he said that for the first time, he physically wanted to vomit.

But honestly, as we sat in the law firm conference room to hear the top results, I looked at E and said, "If we make the next round, I am going to cry/kill all of you." I'm pretty sure we all felt the same way.

We did not make it and promptly headed out and got a really good bottle of champagne for 3 and a soda (E does not drink).

We went back for the score reports and drink ceremony around 8:30 and somehow wound up at dinner with some fairly annoying people. My teammate M was already quite...um...well, she was very inebriated. And they were annoying her. So she was directing her attention to her phone and would frequently head outside to text. The one annoying girl leaned over to me and said, "Is she devastated about losing?" I am so proud I kept my shit together. Though the four of us did have a good laugh about it in the cab later.

In fact, I told this same girl that before heading to the ceremony I had been loving the chance to curl up in the giant hotel bed and watch House and The Closer on TV. (She seemed delicate, I omitted the part about my flask.) She said, "I still can't watch TV yet, I'm too devastated." And in all honesty, this was a team that we--we who were not even all that good--had totally creamed earlier. Again, age is everything. PERSPECTIVE, HONEY. GET SOME.

I think one of my favorite things was having dinner with D's parents the second night of the competition. D is half Chinese/half Korean and his parents live close to the city, so they came in and took us for Korean barbecue. It's the closest I can get to Don Don's without flying to Japan. And of course, it's Korean, so there are tons of side-dishes and it's different because you put the meat in a lettuce leaf, roll it up, etc. OMFG IT WAS SO GOOD. And his parents were really, really lovely. ADORABLE. And our coach (who had to leave half-way through the last day, so she missed out on champagne!) is also Korean, so she didn't even pretend to make a show when the parents paid for everything. (Particularly given our lame stipend the school gives us, I was very thankful!) And the restaurant was filled to the brim and I didn't see a single white person. I SHALL go back!!

Ok, this was my break and now I have to go desperately prep for a motion to suppress. :/

That's why he doesn't have any enemies--only his friends hate him.

I always wake up to NPR on the radio. I often listen and/or continue to sleep, which can make for interesting dreams. (And the occasional confusion during the day where I have to wonder if certain current events actually happened.) The past two mornings' lead stories have been alternating between Whitney Houston and the ongoing problems in Syria and I'm surprised it hasn't yielded stranger dreams. How disappointing.

On the other hand, the lead story on Sunday (Sunday is very hit or miss, it's usually so awful it makes me leap out of bed to make it go away) was that the U.N. had just declared Honduras the most violent country in the world, largely stemming from "the military coup that ousted a democratically elected government." That sentence right there is basically the entire basis for my oral argument that's coming down in a few days. Thank you, NPR, for making me want to vomit mere moments after waking me up. You're the best.

I was playing like one of those little wind-up monkey toys. They booed us off the stage, Phil! Jimmy couldn't even hear how off-key he was.

Oh, man. That line was all I could think of after my oral argument practice today. I got up and I was making an effort not to look at my notes but I was also just OFF somehow the minute I started arguing. Just...OFF. And I finally just stopped halfway through to be like, YES, I KNOW I SUCK I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. (It's practice, in case you missed that, but still not something to do at this stage of the game.)

And it really just felt like that moment in That Thing You Do! where Guy gets the beat wrong right off and they never recover. I tried to tell myself it was good to have at least one shitty practice, but let's not look too deeply into why that could ever serve any purpose.

I have to book my train tonight and then we're off Thursday and get back Sunday. We are coming back early Sunday even though the semis and finals are Sunday afternoon. (It's called reality, y'all.)

And next week I have a real fucking motion to suppress and I'm sort of shitting about that. I have a giant research project due Thursday as well (which is obviously getting delivered to her the day before). And our clinic exercise this week WOULD be fun if it wasn't a time suck.

So for our exercise this week we have to pull a cross-examination from TV, movies, or literature and re-do it. We have this same exercise at the end of the semester with closings. So no, I'm not going to pull a cross from A Few Good Men or My Cousin Vinny. (Well, I guess you could use the public defender's cross from MCV, but let's at least be a little challenging, shall we?)

I'm not going to lie, I just went out and bought the first season of The Good Wife expressly for this. I mean, I love that show and wanted to own it anyway, so win win. But I thought it would be a great show to pull a cross from that could be re-done for reality, since it's always good but it's done for TV. It was tempting to use Carey's first cross when he nearly pukes and asks all of two questions. I also really wanted to use her cross from season 2 when she mistakenly asks a convict "what else" his attorney had said to him. Man, was that a mistake--first rule of cross is don't ask questions you don't know the answer to. But it was only two minutes, so I don't think I can get away with that in class.

The only movie I think I'd use is Anatomy of a Murder, which has a similar issue. I won't spoil the film here, but let's just say somebody gets royally fucked by doing an improper cross. And it's great. And you know how I feel about Jimmy Stewart but I still like this movie.

I also rented ...And Justice for All! in an effort to track down a cross-exam. I've never seen it before and if you haven't either, you know it just as that movie when Pacino's all "I'M out of order?! YOU'RE out of order!! THIS WHOLE COURT'S OUT OF ORDER!!" I'm halfway through and so far I have these three things to say. 1) OMFG, the 70s music is OUT. OF. CONTROL. Almost worth it right there. 2) Al Pacino was one very fine-lookin' young man. I've seen plenty of his early films before but somehow it's more striking here. Gotta be the hair. Ok, I just looked it up. Apparently the man was 39. Not buying it. My math or brain or imdb.com must just be wrong. 3) I've forgotten after that. Oh, yes. MELODRAMA, baby. "Don't you care?? Don't you CARE?!" DRAMA.

The plus side of this week will be the potential to have drinks with Drew Saturday night. Fingers crossed. (Make that--drinks with Drew and I will be content/happy/pleased with my performance. Let's aim HIGH, doll.)

UPDATE: Just for one last kick in the nuts, I got an email notifying me that Kat Edmonson is playing in NYC (she lives there now) Sunday night at 7pm. OF COURSE SHE IS.

Love and hate are two horns on the same goat. And you need a goat.

From what I understand (though I could be wrong), after the game last night, I don’t think anyone got slammed to the ground by police or took a rubber bullet in the eye and died, so that’s good. I think a lot of it had to do with how we lost—apparently everyone filing out of bars and onto the trains last night was just somber and depressed. After seeing the Rangers botch the sixth World Series game so spectacularly and seeing how goddamn depressing that was, I can understand. And I’m not even a sports person. So with that in mind, I think I will be avoiding my clinic professor today and just bother him tomorrow.

I will be in NYC for the latter half of the week and weekend next week for my international competition. I am lucky in that I really like my other three teammates and the coaches are all nice. We are going to lose and we are going to lose huge, and that is fine. (Seriously, we’re in New England, think about it. I think there is a particular NY school that shall remain unnamed that wins the entire thing every year. And this is a world-wide competition. Though this portion will just be regional, sadly.)

We have practice every Sunday very early and this past Sunday we finally had one of the real international law coaches back again (and I shudder to think how awful our arguments may be substantively) so we feel a little...underprepared to say the least. But we also had a guest coach who had been in the competition before and he gave me an interesting (good?) compliment, but I should explain first, otherwise it will probably sound horrible.

The other coaches are quite fond of saying “fake it til you make it.” (We also had to write briefs for our arguments but those were due early January and long out of our hands.) Finally I said, “Yes, but we’re not going to go up there and just make shit up, right?” (Or something to that effect.) And the guest coach basically said, “do what you gotta do.” I think part of it is because international law is so mushy and also this is an oral competition, meaning advocacy and successfully selling what you’ve got is most of the battle. So I got up there (at practice) and barely got to stick to the structure of my argument since the main coach interrogated me nearly the whole time.

Afterwards, during feedback, (which was mostly positive but I also still need to research a few things), the guest coach said, “You have an amazing skill to be able to continue talking even when you have no idea what you’re talking about!”

Luckily, this was also buttressed by the main coach saying I am very quick on my feet and that can go over quite well with a bench.

The guest coach's compliment (which is how it was meant) is still funny, particularly since I probably thought I did know what I was talking about most of the time? But yeah, mostly I knew I just had to answer and sell it. Lots of the judges at this thing don't know international law (but some absolutely do, so there's that) so they can be fooled. Though these are also the same judges who will want to know precisely what article of which convention says what. Or will ask you questions that are TOTALLY irrelevant. So no matter what, there is suckage to be had. Sigh.

UPDATE: I did end up having to run some questions by my clinic professor. It was a little like talking to someone who'd just been stunningly dumped by their true love.

Two for flinchin'.

Judging from the screams two apartments over, I could tell something was up with the game...apparently we were winning, and then with one minute to go...whoops.

Either way, I'm sort of expecting to be one of the only people not hungover (hell, one of the only people present) in family law tomorrow morning...

UPDATE: As the game finished, I heard numerous noises from various apartments. The way our apartments are set up, I always felt like someone could get murdered next door and you'd never know. I shudder to think what's going on in various bars across this town right now. :/

The flight to Cuba...was that 0600...in the morning?

So I did not get to see The Daily Show. I had a lot of work to do and I waited to see who the guest would be...it was some corporate law professor from Yale Law School who, now that I've seen it on TV, seemed as though he lost a bet in being on there in the first place.

Oh but tonight? Tonight the guest is Brad Pitt. NATURALLY.

But I have clinic classes on Wednesday so that was just never an option.

On the plus side I think I have to go to some awkward people-auction thing tomorrow night briefly for my colleague's marathon sponsorship thing. Mostly I will drink and feel bad for acquaintances being auctioned off and leave as soon as possible.

And next week I am going with Friend L to a bridal salon to check out various gowns that may or may not help her in deciding if her favorite pick will ultimately work out. I have decided that this is probably a good litmus test if you were unsure if you liked someone or not. Obviously I wasn't wondering, but it occurred to me because I am looking forward to it! It will be fun (not to mention new territory for me) and I can't wait to see how the gowns work out. I would post a pic of the favorite dress at the moment, but I'm not sure what the rules are there.

Otherwise, I'm just pecking away at two clients' cases (well, three, but the third is on hold for a couple weeks) and the international competition coming up in 2 1/2 weeks. And we're just getting actual substantive feedback for the first time tomorrow. I will spend the time thinking of other words for "shit show."

The stress is manageable, although D did ask me the other day what I wanted to do after graduation. (Meaning, I assume, where did I want to practice, work, serve fries?) The predicament (family in Texas, uncharmed by my current state, continued interest in international law (best suited to D.C., good luck), still having to figure out where to take the bar) remains the same, I have no news for him. No offense to D, but that question has taken on a whole new level of stress I never imagined while loathing it at university.

The job thing should make these decisions easier, not harder. Alas.