I can take care of myself. I've been using the Bowflex.

I'm sure you loved looking at the same goddamn Robert Downey, Jr. pic for a month, but hey, it's time to move on.

I'm downstairs at my apartment watching the Emmy awards in the cafe/wireless lab. I barely snaked the TV from the Portugese family that basically lives in this room (well, at least when the couple isn't in the hallway yelling at each other and then violently making out five minutes later). I came in and The Simpsons was on. The volume was nearly off and there were two women on their computers, not watching. I made sure they weren't, then flipped my show on. Less than two minutes later, the dad and kid came back in and the kid seemed visibly startled that something else was on. Tough shit, fucker.

On the bright side, he was happy to dance along with Neil Patrick Harris's opening number. Easy to please, win.

I have no idea what's even up for what, I just want to make sure Mad Men wins a bunch of stuff, and if there's even a remote chance Hugh Laurie will win for House, M.D. and make a speech, it's worth the hours. Plus Sarah McLachlan is supposed to make an appearance/performance. The patience I manage for that woman.

So yesterday I watched the best movie I've seen in ages.



It was really damn cute. It was in 3D, which I normally can't see, but for some reason I was actually able to see far more of it than usual. Yay! And it was (regardless of being in 3D) visually stunning, just full of gorgeous colors. All the foody stuff was creative and silly--you could tell they had a lot of fun making it. It's clearly geared towards both adults and kids. And for the record, the monkey could have totally been a Jar-Jar Binks-style disaster, but he was minimized just enough to be funny.

Ok, brief interlude as I watch the show. Why is it always a 30 Rock orgy? I've only seen a couple episodes, and I will really start watching more, but jesus. If only a show could literally get blown, there are a number of people on my TV screen who would line up for the job.

Also, thanks, Emmys, for totally ruining the shows I'm not quite caught up on. Like, great. Now it totally won't be surprising when Chuck tells Blair he loves her, way to go. (I'm kidding, it's embarrassing enough that I watch that goddamn show, are you kidding me? I can't even bring myself to tell you what I'm talking about.)

Anyway. After Cloudy, I watched the new Mike Judge movie, Extract. I really tried to keep Office Space in mind, in the way that it was such a theater flop then slowly built to have a giant cult following. But where Office Space had charm, dark humor, painful characters and endlessly quotable lines, this had...none of that.



It was okay, really, but it just never seemed to reach its full potential. And I did laugh a few times, but overall, just gotta give it a meh. And they were trying so hard with the neighbor, it was almost annoying.

Lastly, it was time for Diablo Cody-penned horror, Jennifer's Body. I wanted it to be good. It was supposed to be a strong female, old-school gorefest type flick. But no.



First of all, I'm going to say it. I really don't get the Megan Fox thing. I mean, sure she's hot, but I find her completely unspecial. I don't think I could pick her out of a crowd. She's just this brunette uber-hot model type that would blend in with all the others. I guess I just prefer the distinctive looking ladies. I mean, you would never mix up Nicole Kidman with anyone else. Or Julianne Moore. Or Audrey Hepburn. I get she may be considered The Hottest Thing Alive, but for the record, I just don't get it.

Anyhoo.

The movie was ok, it was fun I guess. It kinda dragged and the flow was really off. It's not fair to compare any new horror movie to Drag Me to Hell, but that was a fucking great horror movie. It was onto the next scene before you were really over the last one. In Jennifer's Body, you were waiting for stuff to happen.

It also had the Look At Me dialogue of Juno, which is distracting in both movies, but it works for quirky comedy. Not so much here. Also, the cute details in the story were there at first (think hamburger phone and boysenberry condoms in Juno), only to disappear about a quarter of the way in.

And what was up with the monster ten minute close-up on the lesbian kiss? Really? Wtf, who cares? The movie was fun overall, but so much of it just really misfired for me.

And seriously, they've moved onto the "reality" segment of the Emmys show, so I could go take a twenty minute dump if I were watching my own TV. But watching these clips, I'm really not sure if this is supposed to be funny. I think it's supposed to be emotional? FAIL. Move along, people.