Evelyn Waugh was a man.

We're baaaaack! I guess it's nice to be home? Japan was so nice, too, though. Being in my house is nice, seeing my dad and sister again is nice...other than that, it's still goddamn Dallas.

I'll write more when the screen isn't throbbing before my very eyes. But a few highlights, lessons and general observations...

1. Krispy Kreme is the new Louis Vuitton:



(There are two parts to the line, if you notice--that glob of people off to the left is the line maze, the first part).

2. The Japanese even do mirrors better. One hotel we stayed in had a giant mirror in the bathroom and upon exiting the steamy shower, a perfect rectangle remained above the sink, perfectly clean. It had an odd horror-movie-vibe to it.

3. Running for your plane is nowhere near as cool as it looks in the movies. On the plus side, we would have been stuck in Japan, not the US.

4. Little take-out-only McDonalds at O'Hare, do you really need 27 employees all at once behind the counter, none of whom take my order? Seriously, we counted. And seriously, it was a goddamn McDonalds clowncar.

5. Cherry blossoms are the most awesome thing ever. Actually, no. Drinking beer in the park (legally! encouraged!) all day people watching and being surrounded by cherry blossoms is the most awesome thing ever.



6. The hotel bar from Lost In Translation barely looks a goddamn thing like it does in the movie. I took our three coasters anyway. (They are completely white and unmarked, but I know where they're from). (It was still a bitchin' bar with a bitchin' view, even if we were drinking $13 beers).

7. I have no idea how long I've been up but it's time for dinner and probably a whole half a Colbert episode.