Hi. I'm Elle Woods and this is Bruiser Woods. We're both Gemini vegetarians.

Blech. I sat down this evening, geared up for yummies all around. I just returned from a Central Market excursion (to the tune of $71, yikes) with two bottles of red wine. One is an old reliable, the other a bit of a random choice. Just a California Cabernet, really, I didn't think I was being all that ballsy. It is a screwcap, I should note, but much of what I've read of late tells me screwcaps are fast becoming the new pink and I should not fear them. Ok, now, I hardly know how to even begin to describe wine well. I know nothing about wine. But this shit--Cyress Vineyards, I warn you--is skank! It has this bizarre sweet aftertaste..it even smells a tad sweet. It doesn't taste like anything at first, you have to swallow and then you get this bright sweet slap. I can't even think what to name this fucking thing. I want to name it Ashton Kutcher for its horridness, but something ickly sweet would be more apt. Ok, this is Reese Witherspoon. This wine is so Reese Witherspoon. With every sip I pull a face. With each sip I think maybe it will be better than the last, but ah no. It would be a far more apt recall name if everyone else raved about this wine, but I highly doubt it.

With any luck I'll just get used to it. Like any Reese movie, I can usually manage to sit through it...I'm just left wondering the whole time, "Now why am I here?"

But I also picked up two cuts of pork butt (8 lb), untrimmed and boneless (easily the bulk of my bill) for my Fine Cooking's recipe that combines South and North Carolina barbeque styles (vinegar based meets tomato based). It is incredibly succulent. I swore last time I would make it earlier in advance, as I previously didn't let it marinade as long as they suggested. It's going to marinade for two whole days...I mean, these are some seriously dense babies, they need it.

I'm also hoping to feel ambitious enough to break out the pasta maker I got for this past birthday and crank out some ravioli (as it comes with the ravioli attachment). I'll try to have a Plan B for when I can't figure out how to work the damn thing, but I'm really hoping that with a little wine and patience (not this fucking wine, I can tell you), things will go smoothly.

I even have a great shuffle in...a Leonard Cohen (in honor of the flick we're finally getting this week at the Angelika), Smile Smile (which I admit I bought strictly on the word of Josh & the Adventure Club), The Tango Lesson soundtrack, J.J. Cale, and His Name Is Alive, the last three of which I recently bought off my dad. A decent wine would have gone SO WELL. Sigh. Yes, I will bitch about this wine throughout the entire blog.

I also got to speak with Veloute this evening. I'm very excited that she's making my cake, I can't wait to eat it. I'm basically aiming for a blood-red cake covered in chocolate and perhaps topped with double-dipped strawberries. Just your fairly typical groom's cake! Oops. Oh well, you all saw a chocolate cake coming, bite me. But of course it won't be ordinary because Veloute will be making it and everyone's going to leave a naughty stain on their chairs. Which is why, of course, I shall be renting chairs...

And as always, I am so in awe of how anyone can raise two children so incredibly well. Seeing the giving birth part (sans pain killers, (!!!), I should add) was mind-boggling enough, but the patience involved in the day-to-day...it blows my mind every time. Of course they are delights and gorgeous and a total pleasure just to watch and interact with...but I spend months and months away from them, too!! Needless to say, I am all a-twitter to see Fiona & Sophia in October. And hopefully the little dragon girl (or whatever it is she's going as these days) will want to do some flower duty! Given her diva-like personality, I'm not worried. If she's anything like Cinematographer Mark's 5-year-old, she'll stop for poses.

And yes, the wine is still sucking balls.

And now off to start some brioche. Buttery brioche. Something else I hardly make enough as it takes two days. I'm not real big on the project-type foods...